Everyone Over 30 in the Dating Game is already BURNT OUT.

[Belize King]

I've said this in multiple threads. 2010 is 15 years ago and you can see the clear difference. Another 15 years it's a wrap.

When half the Coli isn't getting the grandchildren they want then they'll understand.

You literally see the damage of the internet and social media from 2010 until now. We live in curious and peculiar times.

The human brain is fried. We no longer pay attention to anything longer than 5 mins, our necks are in a constant downward position due to our phones, screen time is above 6 hours a day, we don’t talk to each other physically anymore, can’t enjoy a simple time out, and still expect our partners to fill all our voids.

Gen Y is the greatest generation because we are smarter than X, have more money, and lived in a world before the internet and social media. The generations after us…

Wifey and I will attempt to prepare our daughters as best as we can for this future world. We fukked up and decided to bring them here. Hopefully they will be prepared and not hate us for it.

 

[Vandelay]

Didn't you just get out of a long term relationship?

This means nothing. When these women change up on you. You can meet someone at 25 and date them for 5 years then all of a sudden they switch up.

Breh imma be honest with you here. That's what some of these women do. Self destruct. You are finding out exactly why she was single. That shyt is toxic and you dodged a bullet. Do you really want a woman who will pull back and self sabotage in your marriage?? No. The men that have to walk on eggshells in their marriage are the men who are the most unhappy. fukk all that.

Last January and agreed, that's why I literally told shorty I'm falling back. I realize she got some unresolved shyt and was projecting it on me. The actual text conversation is even wilder than I'm letting on and I've been there done that before. I can't go back to that dysfunction, but it was a cool interaction for the 6-7 weeks we talked. It just surprised me how quickly AND trivially the shyt fell apart.

 

[Belize King]

I’m 31 and my girl is 30. We plan on getting married in August.

Black love is still possible!

There’s somebody for all of us Coli Brehs. Don’t give up!

I’m 8 years married come July. We got married at 31 and 29. We had a few “issues” but we are stronger than ever now. If you ever need advice, there are a few up us on here you can have real conversations with.

 

[Belize King]

Dog... They definitely... DEFINITELY don't reward that behavior. And I get every woman is different, but in 4 out 5 of them I can call it like clock work when they fall off. You show some vulnerability, indicate a stronger interest, or come off like you're not dating/capable of dating anyone else, something will self destruct and go awry and back to square one you go. And it's fukking beyond annoying.

This other chick I was talking to that I actually started to have interest in, we had a falling out 2 months ago, and it started with me and her starting to feel around what we were doing. shyt completely fell apart on some "should I be dating other people" "I need some space". And it wasn't me bringing the convo up, it started from some trivial shyt like I didn't hold the door open when we went to a dinner date... after 4 other flawless dates. I bring her up because she hit me up a little over a week ago and we started to go down the path of linking up again, but then I guess I told a corny "joke" and shortly self destructed again. Told her last week, I'm digging you but I'm not walking on eggshells in every interaction we have and left it like that.

To your point, I have to find one that I'm really interested in, put my effort in her and take a gamble. It sucks, because it can unravel... but at least I know I'm putting my best foot forward in that interaction.

Wow.

Many people don’t see future partners as investments. You have to invest your time and energy into a person and see if they are good prospects. Nobody is perfect, but you can show the person you are willing to bend.

She can easily state some of the “issues” she may have and you respond accordingly. She doesn’t even want to do that. No person will treat you how you want to be treated without guidance.

Are they worth giving guidance to is the question. She seems a bit immature or she’s just jaded. She may have seen your behaviors in previous relationships and just jump ship immediately.

The game is the game and some people aren’t willling to be adults and talk about it.

 

[Belize King]

I got my cat and sports

First thing that came to mind.

No disrespect

 

[The ADD]

Last January and agreed, that's why I literally told shorty I'm falling back. I realize she got some unresolved shyt and was projecting it on me. The actual text conversation is even wilder than I'm letting on and I've been there done that before. I can't go back to that dysfunction, but it was a cool interaction for the 6-7 weeks we talked. It just surprised me how quickly AND trivially the shyt fell apart.

Hang in there sir

These streets………Oy

 

[cyndaquil]

Wow.

Many people don’t see future partners as investments. You have to invest your time and energy into a person and see if they are good prospects. Nobody is perfect, but you can show the person you are willing to bend.

She can easily state some of the “issues” she may have and you respond accordingly. She doesn’t even want to do that. No person will treat you how you want to be treated without guidance.

Are they worth giving guidance to is the question. She seems a bit immature or she’s just jaded. She may have seen your behaviors in previous relationships and just jump ship immediately.

The game is the game and some people aren’t willling to be adults and talk about it.

But thats the other thing. Coming from someone who invested in someone at 24 I see that up until 28 when I had to break up with her I see it. It's difficult to open yourself up to that again. Dating market is like the stock market, your strategy depends on how risk averse you are.

And the number one rule in investing is to buy low and sell high. If women were stocks you'd want to invest in one with high growth potential, buy low, except you'd ideally never sell.

That works when you're younger but when you're older you have less time in the market to wait for your investment to pay off.
Dating at 30+ is like dividend investing. You have a large base already built up and you want to use that money to buy stock in established stable companies that are still growth oriented but at a slower rate and provide dividends to shareholders.

So yeah if you're young you can gamble investing in what you hope to be on the next Google or Meta or Berkshire Hathaway and hold long term but when you're older and you need to that stable solid investment in an already established company that'll pay you dividends.

Ain't nothing wrong with having a target or Lowes type stock paying out dividends to you. Great companies still. Better than being out here investing in shytty penny stocks for years that never go anywhere because you falsely believe they'll turn into Netflix (dating losers). Or out here day trading for years (serial dating, hookups, etc.) with nothing to show for it.

 

[Vandelay]

Wow.

Many people don’t see future partners as investments. You have to invest your time and energy into a person and see if they are good prospects. Nobody is perfect, but you can show the person you are willing to bend.

She can easily state some of the “issues” she may have and you respond accordingly. She doesn’t even want to do that. No person will treat you how you want to be treated without guidance.

Are they worth giving guidance to is the question. She seems a bit immature or she’s just jaded. She may have seen your behaviors in previous relationships and just jump ship immediately.

The game is the game and some people aren’t willling to be adults and talk about it.

Y'all got me ready to post this conversation lol

I have flaws, no doubt. I'm just running across mad damaged people.

And it's not to say I'm expecting perfection or I'm not willing to work with someone, but there has to be the willingness to work. Unless they just see me as a placeholder. And that's all fair in love and war, because most of the women I been dating were placeholders so it comes full circle. Just sucks when you do put yourself out there and it unravels and you don't think you did anything egregiously wrong.

 

[Wig Twistin Season]

Nah nothing is worse than that look in men's eyes who have settled. Those that hate going home or find excuses to be out of the house just to get away from the wife or kids. Those dudes that are so beat down by their wife's nagging or constantly bugging them over nothing that they act like they got PTSD every time their phone rings.

Why do we… us… men… equate finding a good partner with settling?

Finding someone =/= settling

“Settling” was a word I used as a teenager, because my approach to women was get what I can from them and as soon as they become annoying (to me… because honestly had my mentality been different I would’ve seen those annoyances as minor) dump her.

As an adult that settling attitude shifted because I realized I’m not perfect either. But really, that’s besides the point.

My point is, finding someone you love and are attracted to, who you can grow with, isn’t settling. I think the problem is unrealistic expectations and delusional self esteem.

Dudes really walk around thinking their shyt doesn’t stink and every woman has to be what they imagine perfection to be. We’re all flawed, some of us more than others, and anyone who knows us could write a list of those flaws.

Am I suggesting men go wife up anything? Not at all, but if the mentality going in is “she better be exactly what I’m imagining” then the whole thing is doomed from the start.

 

[The Realist Perspective]

Thread is jokes but true. A lot of people just need to go ahead and settle down. I fear the state of this place in like 10-20 more years when brehs preaching get married breh (like that fraud mod can’t remember his name) doing complete 180s on that stance or still making pickup videos in their local Walmart.

 

[colicolicoli]

We aren't dating men.

???

Self reflection is a thing.

 

[The ADD]

Why do we… us… men… equate finding a good partner with settling?

Finding someone =/= settling

“Settling” was a word I used as a teenager, because my approach to women was get what I can from them and as soon as they become annoying (to me… because honestly had my mentality been different I would’ve seen those annoyances as minor) dump her.

As an adult that settling attitude shifted because I realized I’m not perfect either. But really, that’s besides the point.

My point is, finding someone you love and are attracted to, who you can grow with, isn’t settling. I think the problem is unrealistic expectations and delusional self esteem.

Dudes really walk around thinking their shyt doesn’t stink and every woman has to be what they imagine perfection to be. We’re all flawed, some of us more than others, and anyone who knows us could write a list of those flaws.

Am I suggesting men go wife up anything? Not at all, but if the mentality going in is “she better be exactly what I’m imagining” then the whole thing is doomed from the start.

^^^

 

[Brandsdale]

Been over relationships. As a woman this is what men want:

1. They want to be admired yet have nothing about them that's admirable

2. Want to "lead" yet have no track record if good leadership and a history of poor decisions

3. Want you to submit but never have a plan outside of just telling you what to do

4. Want children but don't even support proper natal health care and don't expect to actually help with the children

5. Want you do vast amounts of free labor while also contributing half the bills

6. Expect you to look good as they grow a fat belly

7. Want you to be happy with the ED

8. Don't want you to have success that doesn't benefit

9. Constantly need their ego stroked

10. Have to walk on egg shells constantly because they are so easily offended

11. Expect you to have no boundaries and constantly testing yours

12. Want your to put aside your needs to cater to them.

13. Want you to take an interest in the things they like but won't exchange the favor

14. Want you to their emotional dumpster but can't give you the same in return

15. Want to be sexist then expect you play mommy

16. Want to be stingy even when they have money

17. Expect you to tolerate their bad behavior for life because they did one thing for you.

Etc etc etc

And in exchange you get...what? Half the bills pays and maybe some dikk that's only decent less than 50% of the time.

The juice just isn't worth the squeeze.

Friendships are way more fulfilling at this point.

Relationships are basically a really shytty job that have little to no benefits.

Your experience isn’t universal.

 

[Apollo Creed]

Thread is jokes but true. A lot of people just need to go ahead and settle down. I fear the state of this place in like 10-20 more years when brehs preaching get married breh (like that fraud mod can’t remember his name) doing complete 180s on that stance or still making pickup videos in their local Walmart.

The issue is people are conflating multiple arguments into 1.

You have
1.Men who get zero play what so ever, there is nothing to settle down with when you have no options.
2.Men who can get into relationships but fear divorce due to the archaic laws
3. men who are running through chicks and see these chicks are not worth serious commitment thus my chances of having a family seem mill.

With number 1 you can argue not getting play is could be dudes who never worked on themselves tp improve OR Dudes who are solid nice guys and the cultural aspect of women tryna get men out of their league which gives women a whole nother set of issues plays into this (in this sense it's the women who need to understand their level).

 

[Diondon]

Love is a battle where you both end up with scars.