Everyone Over 30 in the Dating Game is already BURNT OUT.

[The ADD]

Honestly I think people just have a very limited way of thinking of relationships.

The nuclear family is extremely recent and people lean too heavy on it.

I think as a society we focus on relationships too much. It's a distraction that takes us away from self development.

Imagine if every person took 5 years out of their lives to just focus on their self esteem, self love, personality development, goals etc how much better our society would be and how much better relationships would be.

Instead half our time from 16 y/o until we die is spent on who we will use to fulfill our needs (ie sex, money, belonging etc).

That's why our situation is fukked up. All we do is worry about some shyt that fails the vast majority of the time.

People don't take enough time with themselves.

The point of this life is not to fukk and run behind someone else. The point is too grow spiritually. You can't do that if all you're worried about is acquiring another person like a pokemon.

It would be interesting to see stats on the success of marriages when both partners are 35+

 

[Wig Twistin Season]

Because the shyt we are choosing off of and what we are looking for in a partner is dumb and we are not intentional with dating until it is necessary. We are choosing based primarily off aesthetics and not substance. Does she have a fat ass? How tall is he?
And we aren't factoring enough into their education, career, family oriented, lifestyle choices, beliefs and values etc.

I mean if we listen to the experience of brehs like @Brolic he did everything right. Went to school, saved his money and invested, waited to have kids, looked for like-minded women and it still took him a minute to find his fiancé.

Well said and repped.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Damn Boo! WHo hurt you?

LOL JK.

You. Tell them the truth. Lol

 

[The ADD]

Because the shyt we are choosing off of and what we are looking for in a partner is dumb and we are not intentional with dating until it is necessary. We are choosing based primarily off aesthetics and not substance. Does she have a fat ass? How tall is he?
And we aren't factoring enough into their education, career, family oriented, lifestyle choices, beliefs and values etc.

I mean if we listen to the experience of brehs like @Brolic he did everything right. Went to school, saved his money and invested, waited to have kids, looked for like-minded women and it still took him a minute to find his fiancé.

Ditching the idea of a time table to be married would benefit a certain segment but the desire to have kids makes that tough.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

It would be interesting to see stats on the success of marriages when both partners are 35+

It would be.

I would add to that though.

Maybe first time marriages of people without children and both have a certain standards of living.

 

[Apollo Creed]

Move.



I’m tired of hearing people complain about how we shouldn’t be here while enjoying the benefits of being here.

You can’t expect to prosper in a country while doing everything to not go with the cultural norms. Yes we had to go through more than any other race. Absolutely. But we’re here now. Get down or lay down. This counterculture shyt we do is getting tired and fukking our people up.

No it won’t stop racism.

No it won’t change everything.

But it’s insanity to continue to live here and try to do the opposite of what the majority does.

this convo clearly too high level for you with this stupid ass post.

 

[Braman]

First Divorce Rate, 2021

research brief on first divorce rate, 2021

www.bgsu.edu

Now ask yourself why. Why do WE have such high divorce rates? Why do WE pick the wrong partners at a higher rate? Why are WE less likely to fix the situation and find solutions to stay married?

I think the attitudes displayed in this thread, on social media, etc. are a huge indicator of a high level of dysfunction in our community.

My question for you and anyone else quoting me is how long were your parents married and how did that effect your view on marriage?

Our people continue to buck the system and fall behind. The lowest household incomes and the highest in problems across the board, but we’re quick to challenge what works for everyone else.

That’s fantastic for a speech at the United negro coalition but back here in the real world, you can only play on the field you’re given

So, what do you mean “we”. Black men and women have separate motivations, stimulae, and concerns. So even if you want it, it’s becoming harder and harder. Simply forcing it bc “WE need to stop bucking the trend “ would not be wise.

You’re ignoring the societal changes that make marriage harder, in no particular order:

- social media.
-marriage as a WHOLE is being reexamined
-Women are rapidly rejecting the idea of kids. Which for most men is the whole point of marriage.
-On top of that, black women in particular are becoming fearful of the disparity in maternity fatality rates.
-black woken have more discretionary income and many are making ‘business decisions’. Trips > Kids.
-Hyper sexualized culture. Bruh women watch porn as much as us now
-Options. A lot of options. For both sides. Perceived and real

I could go on but yea point being there’s more roadblocks to marriage than ever before. So it’s dismissive of what people are going thru to just simply say ‘but we need to do this!’.

 

[Apollo Creed]

Ditching the idea of a time table to be married would benefit a certain segment but the desire to have kids makes that tough.

there are a minority of men who don't want kids, but I would argue the only reason men get married is to legitimize the union that brings a child into this world for cultural reasons (as these cultures tend to be rooted into some religious dynamic that backs the ideal, vs two consenting adults just living together and having a child).

 

[O.Red]

Yeah there's a bitterness in a lot of women (likely men too) over 30. People used to ask why I gravitated towards the younger women and it was 100% because they were more bright eyed and optimistic when it came to dating and a lot more fun. They weren't overly skeptical or didn't have the energy like they were just waiting on the other shoe to drop.

Nah nothing is worse than that look in men's eyes who have settled. Those that hate going home or find excuses to be out of the house just to get away from the wife or kids. Those dudes that are so beat down by their wife's nagging or constantly bugging them over nothing that they act like they got PTSD every time their phone rings.

The nikka that's sitting in his car for 45 minutes after he clocked out

 

[The ADD]

It would be.

I would add to that though.

Maybe first time marriages of people without children and both have a certain standards of living.

Fair

That’s me and my wife

 

[cyndaquil]

Been over relationships. As a woman this is what men want:

1. They want to be admired yet have nothing about them that's admirable

2. Want to "lead" yet have no track record if good leadership and a history of poor decisions

3. Want you to submit but never have a plan outside of just telling you what to do

4. Want children but don't even support proper natal health care and don't expect to actually help with the children

5. Want you do vast amounts of free labor while also contributing half the bills

6. Expect you to look good as they grow a fat belly

7. Want you to be happy with the ED

8. Don't want you to have success that doesn't benefit

9. Constantly need their ego stroked

10. Have to walk on egg shells constantly because they are so easily offended

11. Expect you to have no boundaries and constantly testing yours

12. Want your to put aside your needs to cater to them.

13. Want you to take an interest in the things they like but won't exchange the favor

14. Want you to their emotional dumpster but can't give you the same in return

15. Want to be sexist then expect you play mommy

16. Want to be stingy even when they have money

17. Expect you to tolerate their bad behavior for life because they did one thing for you.

Etc etc etc

And in exchange you get...what? Half the bills pays and maybe some dikk that's only decent less than 50% of the time.

The juice just isn't worth the squeeze.

Friendships are way more fulfilling at this point.

Relationships are basically a really shytty job that have little to no benefits.

I'm sorry you feel that way. Though here's the thing all men aren't like that. There's men out there who are like that ruining it for you and many other women. I will admit that. Same with trifling women ruining it for good men. In my approach to relationships it would be a true partnership so the stuff you mentioned here wouldn't be an issue because it would rely on trust, accountability, and communication but I had to learn how to do that by listening and self reflection. And you mentioned friendships are way more fulfilling you are right because your partner SHOULD be your best friend first and foremost. So many hurt people out here can't be vulnerable enough to really begin a relationship and make that person their best friend

 

[Brandsdale]

Why does it need to be?

Why am I the only one not allowed to share my experience and make a decision about my own life?

Neither is yours but I'm sure that won't stop you from having an opinion and bytching a moaning about women right?

 

[Wig Twistin Season]

this convo clearly too high level for you with this stupid ass post.

How long were your parents married? Did you grow up in a house with both of them? If not, which parent did you live with?

 

[Krs2]

nikkas here really engage in conversations with ex stripper's with bbls about relationships. Insane

 

[Krs2]

Been over relationships. As a woman this is what men want:

1. They want to be admired yet have nothing about them that's admirable

2. Want to "lead" yet have no track record if good leadership and a history of poor decisions

3. Want you to submit but never have a plan outside of just telling you what to do

4. Want children but don't even support proper natal health care and don't expect to actually help with the children

5. Want you do vast amounts of free labor while also contributing half the bills

6. Expect you to look good as they grow a fat belly

7. Want you to be happy with the ED

8. Don't want you to have success that doesn't benefit

9. Constantly need their ego stroked

10. Have to walk on egg shells constantly because they are so easily offended

11. Expect you to have no boundaries and constantly testing yours

12. Want your to put aside your needs to cater to them.

13. Want you to take an interest in the things they like but won't exchange the favor

14. Want you to their emotional dumpster but can't give you the same in return

15. Want to be sexist then expect you play mommy

16. Want to be stingy even when they have money

17. Expect you to tolerate their bad behavior for life because they did one thing for you.

Etc etc etc

And in exchange you get...what? Half the bills pays and maybe some dikk that's only decent less than 50% of the time.

The juice just isn't worth the squeeze.

Friendships are way more fulfilling at this point.

Relationships are basically a really shytty job that have little to no benefits.

This psycho bytch wants to date perfect man, when the only value she brings is a bbl. Make a list about the shyt you bring to the table