Father on the phone don't want to deal with his kids anymore after being put on child support

[AllHolosEve]

Sounds like you were being petty, and it backfired against you tbh. If your kid is not walking around crusty, holey clothes, hair not done, stank, etc.. What was the issue with you just giving her the money.?

-Nothing backfired. I came to court with receipts & told them if they raised my payments I wasn't buying anything else, they threw the adjustment in the bushes. The issue is I'm not her man & if I'm making my payments I'm not obligated to put extra money in her hand. Any extra goes straight to my kids.

 

[Rockstar Mom]

No disrespect but you sound a little closed minded on the issue. Once child support has been established the courts can direct the non-custodial parent how often they can see their child. That is something two grown adults should be able to establish. Also the non-custodial parent could give extra money and according the the courts, that is considered a gift and no bearing on payments evens if a job is lost. There are a lot of issues with child support when people ask the government to play daddy. I will there are cases where it is needed from a dead beat parent.

Well, child support and custody are two different things. You can get/pay child support, and still establish your own form of visitation without the court. And not for nothing, even if you lose your job, your child still needs to be taken care of. So I understand why the courts don’t let you being unemployed be an excuse to not take care of your obligations still. My point was, and like somebody else said in this thread, child support is just formalizing what you already should be doing for your child in the first place.

 

[Jaylen Tatum]

I hope Corey talks about this tonight

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

Hhh

-It's looked at as a weapon because it's often used as a weapon. My BM took me to court over payments because she wanted me to give her cash instead of buying what the kids needed myself. Women want this money to do what they want with it & it often doesn't go to the kids.

-No it doesn't. It only lowers if you go to court & they approve an adjustment.

-You don't know if he was a bum before this or why he got put on the hook. fukk formalizing things, it can directly interfere with your ability to spend time with your kids.

the most important part of child support can't be 'bought" by the other party. cash pays for the roof over the head, keeping them warm in the winter, daily food, etc. the other parent should just have that on hand rather than wait for you to get ready to "buy it" like you can do with school supplies or whatever.

so many people think it ends at "ok i took my kid to the mall each month, i did my job" that's not even the majority of it. unfortunately for people's hard feelings, the cost of the kid daily living is commingled with that of whoever they spend the majority of their time with (the kids rent is the bm rent, the kids utilities is the moms utilities). people need to get over that part or get custody

 

[Reptile]

fukk that nikka.

 

[beenz]

I pay $1200 for 1 and the only other expense I come out of pocket for is airfare to fly to get him and take him back. I don't have a problem paying my financial obligation as outlined in my divorce decree, but I'll be damned if I pay anything outside of our agreement.

we used to split the air fare, but I don't have the energy to even ask her to send me half anymore, so I end up buying tickets and text her the date to put them on the plane.

they been up here the past 2 weeks as I type this.

 

[AllHolosEve]

Do you split custody?
Isn't always as easy as saying "I'll buy what the kids need". You need to factor in rent, time ans utilities.
Why bother formalise things? Again, it is only a problem if he is contributing less than what is required.
And he is a bum. His character is clearly lacking if he thinks it is acceptable to cut his kid off because the mother took him to court for child support. He has the heart of a bum.

-I always had joint custody & 2 of them of them live with me now. My case is almost over, I'm just speaking from experience having gone through it already.

-If a man is actually doing his best & helping out I'm fully against getting the government involved. It's not just a problem if you're less than required when the woman gets to decide what's required. I'm not factoring in her rent when I have no say over where she chooses to live.

 

[Michael's Black Son]

 

[Giselle]

So fukking sad for these kids.

These children are not the mother. You are a straight bytch made nikka if you claim you care for your kids and do shyt like this.


"I'd kill for my kids."

Yea? Well, would you be willing to put up with an annoying ass woman for your kids?

No? Well, fukk you. You were never real.

How do you feel about women who kill their babies or abandon them through adoption?

 

[Giselle]

-I always had joint custody & 2 of them of them live with me now. My case is almost over, I'm just speaking from experience having gone through it already.

-If a man is actually doing his best & helping out I'm fully against getting the government involved. It's not just a problem if you're less than required when the woman gets to decide what's required. I'm not factoring in her rent when I have no say over where she chooses to live.

Do you get child support from their mother?

 

[AllHolosEve]

the most important part of child support can't be 'bought" by the other party. cash pays for the roof over the head, keeping them warm in the winter, daily food, etc. the other parent should just have that on hand rather than wait for you to get ready to "buy it" like you can do with school supplies or whatever.

so many people think it ends at "ok i took my kid to the mall each month, i did my job" that's not even the majority of it. unfortunately for people's hard feelings, the cost of the kid daily living is commingled with that of whoever they spend the majority of their time with (the kids rent is the bm rent, the kids utilities is the moms utilities). people need to get over that part or get custody

-When me & my BM separated I had all 4 kids & took care of them by myself without a dime from her. She only filed for custody because the state ordered her to pay me support, it was a spite play over money. In the end 2 live with me again. You're not telling me anything special here.

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

-When me & my BM separated I had all 4 kids & took care of them by myself without a dime from her. She only filed for custody because the state ordered her to pay me support, it was a spite play over money. In the end 2 live with me again. You're not telling me anything special here.

you definitely right about me "telling you"... majority of the time i'm posting i'm just posting in general because there's like 10000 other people that's gonna read this so yeah, it def wasn't about you per say. but my point still stands. parents need cash on hand for childcare, not just mall runs. that's the part of your post i was responding to because you seemed to have an issue with her wanting cash "she wanted me to give her cash instead of buying what the kids needed myself"

 

[AllHolosEve]

Do you get child support from their mother?

-Nah. One's 24, the other's gonna be 18 & we settled our differences. I never asked her for anything the entire time we were going through it.

 

[Amare's Right Hook]

 

[AllHolosEve]

you definitely right about me "telling you"... majority of the time i'm posting i'm just posting in general because there's like 10000 other people that's gonna read this so yeah, it def wasn't about you per say. but my point still stands. parents need cash on hand for childcare, not just mall runs. that's the part of your post i was responding to because you seemed to have an issue with her wanting cash "she wanted me to give her cash instead of buying what the kids needed myself"

-Fair enough, but if you need cash shouldn't you be working? Name a child related necessity that you can't get without the other parent literally handing you cash. Food, bills, clothes, etc. don't require me giving you cash.