ThrobbingHood
Take from the b*tch, give to the whores.
Knoxville actors Cylk Cozart ("Conspiracy Theory," "White Men Can't Jump") and Nikki Estridge ("Law and Order: SVU," "House of Cards") will spend the holidays like many fathers and daughters will. They will gather with family and celebrate.
This year will be the first time they will spend the holidays together. For more than 30 years, Cozart and Estridge didn't know each other and didn't know they were related.
A few months ago, they found each other and have been making up for lost time since then.
An intuition
While growing up in Knoxville, Estridge said, she always felt something missing in her life. It was a deep void she couldn't explain. She said she also had a darker skin tone than the rest of her family and athleticism, which also set her apart (
). Still, as a child, she didn't think twice about these feelings.Years passed. Estridge attended Powell High School, graduated from the University of Tennessee and played softball there, and went on to pursue an acting career. She also got married and had two sons.
In late 2016, she decided to act on the intuition she began having as a child and took a DNA test.
“So I did that and sent it off, and I got it back," said Estridge. "I didn’t think twice about it. I went, ‘Huh, I’m a third African American.’ I said, ‘Nobody in my family that I know of is African American.’ … And it kind of just snowballed after that. I just started looking into more things and, you know, talking to the right people, asking the right questions.”
Through her investigation and the data she gathered, Estridge found out Cozart was her father, a detail in her life that had been kept from her. She said her mother told her that her stepfather was her biological father. Estridge said she did not want to name her mother, stepfather and other family members.
“I didn’t know if my mother was lying to me for what reason," she said. "I didn’t know … We can try to discern what people do, what motives they have. We could drive ourselves crazy thinking about, ‘Why did this person do this to me, especially your mother?’ You don’t grow up thinking your mother’s going to lie to you, and that was tough for me. We’ve all been hurt by people in the past, but when it’s your own family, it’s beyond painful.”
Estridge took time to process everything and decided to call Cozart right before Father’s Day in June.
A surprising voicemail
Estridge said she didn't know if Cozart knew about her or not, and she couldn't live her life without trying to reach out to him. She dialed the number and hung up immediately. Estridge dialed again. Cozart didn't answer. She left him a voicemail."It was probably the longest, most rambling, incoherent babble you’d heard because I … like started from the middle … of the story, and then I worked my way back down and then I backed up ... but I just did it," said Estridge. "I just said, ‘Here’s my feelings. Go. You tell me what you want to do.'"
Cozart was attending a Gladys Knight concert with "The Voice" winner Chris Blue when Estridge called. He tried listening to her voicemail while at the concert but couldn't hear it well. On the way home, he listened again.
"When she got to the … place where she said … 'It just came to my attention that the person I thought was my father is not my father,' and I thought, ‘Oh no … why’s she telling me? What’s that got to do with me?’ … She said, ‘You would be very proud of me, and I went to Powell High School, the University of Tennessee, played softball, scholarship, and all this stuff. You’d be proud of me as your daughter.' And I was like, ‘Rewind that,'" said Cozart. "I thought she was telling me this ... like I was friends with her father or maybe I know her real father. I was thinking of everything. I wasn’t thinking I was her father.”
A father and daughter's bond
Cozart called Estridge when he got home that evening and told her he didn't know about her. The two arranged to meet in person. They met a few weeks after their first phone call. Neither of them knew what to expect when they saw each other in person for the first time. Cozart and Estridge both said it was one of the best days of their lives.“I ran up to him, and he gave me this bear hug … I tell you what," said Estridge. "I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort, familiarity, and just pure joy, and it was a feeling I never felt before. It was a hug that had so much love to it already. It didn’t feel like I was hugging a stranger, and immediately, any type of anger or pain — and not to say I don’t still have hurt in my heart — (it) just completely would override any type of feelings of sadness immediately. And I think God gives a special bond to a father and a daughter that is unlike any other, and I felt that for the first time in my life.”
Cozart also said meeting Estridge felt familiar, and he didn't want to let her go. They found out they a lot in common including their passion for acting, their sense of humor and athletic ability. In addition to being on UT's softball team, Estridge also played volleyball, softball and basketball at Powell. Cozart played basketball in high school and college and tried out at the NBA Summer League. He was chosen to attend the Denver Nuggets' rookie camp but fractured his foot, ending his basketball career.
Meeting with Estridge's family
One month after meeting Cozart in person, Estridge arranged a meeting with her immediate family (her mom, stepdad and siblings) to share what she had learned about Cozart."It was just the people that it was going to directly affect. And I think initially my unveiling was met with — my mother initially tried to deny it, and then I’m like, ‘Have you seen what he looks like? Have you seen what I look like?’ (
)— So it was met initially with a little bit, what's the word? I'm trying to think of the word. It was more push back, more denial, and then it was eventually a little more backpedaling like, 'OK, yes,' and then ... finally into the admitting 'yes.'" ( )Estridge said most of her family including her brother and his wife, aunts, uncles, cousins and extended family have been extremely supportive and that she has forgiven her mom and stepdad for not telling her about Cozart.
'This journey that is just wide open'
Missing out on more than 30 years together was painful for Cozart and Estridge. Cozart said he missed seeing Estridge grow up, watching her play sports and supporting her throughout her life.“I pictured myself at her games going, ‘Foul. He just fouled her. She got fouled.’ You know, just doing stuff that dads would do, that I’ve never been able to do, and I thought, ‘That’s not fair.’ And I’m selfish. I’m like, ‘That’s not fair to me. I missed all that.’ But what about her? … And then she had to go through the … just being a little shade darker than any of the white girls, and they called names .... And kids are only repeating what their parents are saying. They don’t make up stuff. They hear stuff and repeat it.
"And so what I went through was one thing, but what she had to go through as a little girl, going through that, hurts me so much, that … I couldn’t have been there to help her … at her prom or when she got married or walk her down the aisle,” said Cozart.
The father and daughter's goal is to focus on the time they have now.
Since finding out about each other, Cozart and Estridge have spent time together playing ball, attending church, going to concerts and hanging out at home with family. Cozart immediately bonded with Estridge's husband and children.
"It’s like they (Estridge's sons) were already there," said Cozart. "It’s like they're crawling over, hitting me and slapping me, throwing food and stuff. I love it. That’s what it’s supposed to be like.”
The two are looking forward to what the future holds.
“Nikki and I, we have this journey that is just wide open. There is no end. You know what I mean? It’s just like a journey that is just pleasant,” said Cozart.
Knoxville actors Cylk Cozart, Nikki Estridge find out they are father, daughter
For more than 30 years, Cozart\u00a0and Estridge\u00a0didn't know each other and didn't know they were related.
www.knoxnews.com
wow...
@ the mom.
