HONEST QUESTION: Are You Comfortable With Getting Old & Dying Alone?

[ThrobbingHood]

Appreciate the tag. I’m at peace of the idea that I’ll die alone. I think too many of us have a romantacized idea of death if we have a family. Thinking that we’ll die peacefully at home, surrounded by our loved ones whilst we depart with words of wisdom.

The reality is, being married won’t stop you dying alone. Having children won’t stop you dying alone. You could get divorced, your children may hate you or may simply forget about you.

That’s what’s funny when people try and coerce me into marriage and having a family. “If you don’t get married and have children, you’ll die alone.” I simply respond “I know plenty of married men with children who died alone in the nursing home.”

 

[spencerforhire]

Almost everybody dies alone, you guys watch too many movies.

 

[Bossino]

Just because you have a wife and kid don’t mean you’re not gonna die alone

my uncle passed away from COVID and he was by himself. Mind you he has a bunch of kids, grandkids, nephews and nieces. shyt broke my heart to pieces

I'm sorry my phrasing was poor and I'll see if I can edit it I meant entering, progressing through old age and then finally dying alone. Not like when you actually go, the entire process

 

[Spatial Paradox]

I can't lie, the thought of dying alone is a really uncomfortable one. But how alone are we talking? Dying in your twilight years with no significant other and/or kids, but with other family, friends and loved ones? Or dying completely alone, where there's no one who even checks in you to know you've passed away?

Does the aftermath of your death matter to you? Because for me, the aftermath worries me just as much. I remembered reading this NYT investigation about Hart Island (the potter's field in NYC) years ago that confirmed that fear of dying alone for for me: New York's Mass Graves

The article is an investigation into some of the back stories of the people who ended up there, and the fukk ups that led to them being buried there. People who don't have family, whose families were just completely out of touch with them or who's loved ones couldn't afford to provide for taking care of them after death end up suffering indignities even after death and the thought of that happening is enough to make me not want to die alone. Having a family isn't a bulletproof way of preventing that, but it makes it a lot less likely that you'll end up a cadaver for some medical school experiments and/or being tossed in an unmarked mass grave, with no one even aware of your death

 

[2ATMsYouSteppinOrWhat]

sounds depressing as fukk... but i already met the girl i want to be with...if we cant/dont end up with each other i lowkey prefer to be dolo...

Ill meet other girls that i could genuinely love but they’ll never be her tbh...

 

[DaylitoJames]

 

[⠀X ⠀]

Honestly, I’m in my early 30’s and For me it’s 50/50. I like being alone, but I feel that I should eventually get married and have kids. I think I’d be good either way tho.

 

[Bossino]

I can't lie, the thought of dying alone is a really uncomfortable one. But how alone are we talking? Dying in your twilight years with no significant other and/or kids, but with other family, friends and loved ones? Or dying completely alone, where there's no one who even checks in you to know you've passed away?

Does the aftermath of your death matter to you? Because for me, the aftermath worries me just as much. I remembered reading this NYT investigation about Hart Island (the potter's field in NYC) years ago that confirmed that fear of dying alone for for me: New York's Mass Graves

The article is an investigation into some of the back stories of the people who ended up there, and the fukk ups that led to them being buried there. People who don't have family, whose families were just completely out of touch with them or who's loved ones couldn't afford to provide for taking care of them after death end up suffering indignities even after death and the thought of that happening is enough to make me not want to die alone. Having a family isn't a bulletproof way of preventing that, but it makes it a lot less likely that you'll end up a cadaver for some medical school experiments and/or being tossed in an unmarked mass grave, with no one even aware of your death

Yes this is precisely the picture I was trying to paint

 

[Youseenmywork]

Well at 36 Its not something I think about ...because ive already made my decision. Im a loner anyway so being by myself dosent bother me . When I was younger I may have thought about having a family but iv always had a sense that things arent what they seem especially growing up in the neighborhood I did . The issues between black men and black women will NEVER be fixed its odd its like nobody wants black men to lead ...at all. I will say the cornerstones of myself as a man will remain "respect and courtesy" . Im not romantic i don't celebrate valentines day and I detest feminism and I want be monogamous as well. I still deal with women but on my terms and my happiness comes first . If a women chooses to stick around ill think about having a child maybe. Dieing alone is not a problem for me cause it rare that people that are married die at the same time if you will . Even when the children are grown up there is a ceartin detachment there no matter how much you may love them ...cause you want them to be better that you going forward . Personally its not worth to me cause i can do all the "right things " and it still end of bad and that not a pill as a man I dont think I can swallow.I want to be my own down fall....not because I believed in some women . Most people will say even if it dosen't work out with the women at least you have a child but that isnt good enough for me to chance it in this world or this time period we in . Its straight chaos outside . Legacy is not just having kids but its also what did you do for other while you was here how many other people did you help ....I attempt not to look at legacy from a selfish perspective. Dieing "alone" that bad to me ...at least I would no longer have to debate why as a black man im human an should be treated as such ...GOD is the final judge with everything ive done and didn't do in my life .

 

[mag357]

I've thought about this more recently.
Realizing that I'm not going to have kids.

I try to think about how I will feel in the future, but I cant..
Maybe I'm miserable, maybe not.

Its gonna be what its gonna be.

But I will say this.

Having a wife and kids doesn't mean u WONT be alone on ur death bed.

And not having a wife and kids doesn't mean you WILL be alone

It's all about the energy u put out there and how u move in this world while ur living.

You'll be surprised who's there for u and whos not there right before God comes to take u back.

I say this thinking about my nikka.

He had alot of chix...he had a grown daughter, he had some family, not much but some...

But the only ones with him by his side during his last days... was just his 2 nikkaz

Because we loved him and he showed us love... we wasnt gonna let him be alone

 

[AAKing23]

I don't want to, but I'm not afraid of it. I've been alone for a good portion of my life so I'm comfortable with it.

 

[Double Burger With Cheese]

When you die is when you die. How you die is how you die. Don’t think, just live.