I am 35 and ready to have kids ASAP, its crazy

[Brolic]

When I was just a few years ago I was fine, kids and even dating fr weren’t on my radar. Enjoying my hobbies, flexibility, free time and working -it didn’t feel like a void, I think the main thing that comes is “will I or won’t I” for timing. Even that tbh isn’t as critical considering women can have healthy children even into their 40s-with that said do we want to muster up the energy it takes to keep up with them/can you really trust that your male counterpart will actually be a partner in raising the kid. Men don’t typically invest the same time, energy etc into their kids whether they marry, stay together or split.

It most definitely is critical. Can and should are 2 different words. A 50 year old woman can have a healthy child, but she shouldn’t try because it’s more likely to go wrong. Having kids at 35+ is considered geriatric pregnancy.

 

[Yinny]

It most definitely is critical. Can and should are 2 different words. A 50 year old woman can have a healthy child, but she shouldn’t try because it’s more likely to go wrong. Having kids at 35+ is considered geriatric pregnancy.

That’s outdated myth, and it’s not “geriatric”, it’s considered advanced maternal age- but actual doctors including mine say it warrants extra monitoring but not fear or total avoidance.

Common myths about getting pregnant after 35 | SSM HealthCommon myths about getting pregnant after 35 | SSM Health

Why shouldn’t she try? I said into their 40s, not 50.

 

[Redwood]

Haven't met one that I would consider, until then it's not happening

 

[IIVI]

It honestly doesn’t matter if you have kids or not.

Scientifically and mathematically, the odds are you won’t be born on this planet the next time around. That is if you even have a soul that persists from lifetime to lifetime.

At the end of the day, you’re the universe observing itself with human senses and brain. No more, no less. In the enormous view of things, you’ve already reproduced multiple times, nearly every single second.

 

[SupaHotIce]

I don’t know any dude who has kids that would trade them for any amount of money or p*ssy.

It’s one of those things you have to experience to understand.

Rewinding time and getting their time and freedom back will have different results

 

[Brolic]

That’s outdated myth, and it’s not “geriatric”, it’s considered advanced maternal age- but actual doctors including mine say it warrants extra monitoring but not fear or total avoidance.

Common myths about getting pregnant after 35 | SSM HealthCommon myths about getting pregnant after 35 | SSM Health

Why shouldn’t she try? I said into their 40s, not 50.

They changed the name to make women feel better. it’s not a myth.

Pregnancy at Age 35 Years or Older: ACOG Obstetric Care Consensus No. 11 - PubMed

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data from 2020 demonstrate the continued upward trend in the mean age of pregnant individuals in the United States. Observational studies demonstrate that pregnancy in older individuals is associated with increased risks of adverse pregnancy...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Observational studies demonstrate that pregnancy in older individuals is associated with increased risks of adverse pregnancy outcomes-for both the pregnant patient and the fetus-that might differ from those in a younger pregnant population, even in healthy individuals with no other comorbidities.

Management of Pregnancy in Women of Advanced Maternal Age: Improving Outcomes for Mother and Baby - PMC

Pregnancy at advanced maternal age (age >35 years old) is considered a risk factor for adverse maternal and perinatal outcomes. Yet, pregnancies of advanced maternal age have become more prevalent over the last few decades. Possible maternal ...

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Pregnancy at advanced maternal age (age >35 years old) is considered a risk factor for adverse maternal and perinatal outcomes. Yet, pregnancies of advanced maternal age have become more prevalent over the last few decades. Possible maternal complications of pregnancy at age 35 or older include increased risk of spontaneous miscarriage, preterm labor, gestational diabetes mellitus, pre-eclampsia, stillbirth, chromosomal abnormalities, and cesarean delivery.

The Impact of Advanced Maternal Age on Pregnancy Outcomes: A Retrospective Multicenter Study - PMC

The aim of this multicenter retrospective cohort study was to examine the impact of maternal age on perinatal outcomes in multiparas, stratified according to maternal age in one- and two-year increments. The analysis involved 302,484 multiparas who ...

pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

The findings revealed that cesarean delivery rates increased as maternal age advanced, with rates ranging from 6.7% among 25–30 year olds, rising continuously from 13.5% to 19.9% between the age strata of 31 and 42, to exceeding 20% among those aged ≥ 43 years (

 

[bourgeoisie tall freak]

That’s outdated myth, and it’s not “geriatric”, it’s considered advanced maternal age- but actual doctors including mine say it warrants extra monitoring but not fear or total avoidance.
Common myths about getting pregnant after 35 | SSM HealthCommon myths about getting pregnant after 35 | SSM Health
Why shouldn’t she try? I said into their 40s, not 50.

my doctor always tells me "nah you are strong and healthy" when i tell him i'm too old to have a kid lol
but he always says i look younger than i am so it probably doesn't cross his mind that i am old af

 

[Gloxina]

We can respectfully disagree. I'm not under the impression that I gave him bad advice and I didn't think it necessary that I provide a play by play breakdown of preparing to be a father for him...



Can you explain why would this matter that guys don't full time live with their kids? I don't believe you guys have children, correct?

Do you not want kids?

I still don't understand why people feel any pressure or would call themselves "failures" for not having kids. I think its fine to not want any. I just disagree with the posters who have this fearful rationale for not having them...

There is never a great time to become a parent, if one's measurement is the state of society or another person's yardstick. You can plan appropriately and with seemingly the right person, and go from there...

Why it matters if a man isn’t with his kids full time?


I guess the question is does he desire a FAMILY, wife and kid under one roof, or he just wants a child for the sake of having a child and doesn’t desire to actually be present full time 24/7 in creating, raising and maintaining a family.


Because there is a difference.

 

[Buckeye Fever]

Just don't let the coli poison your mind. 1st, they'll tell you say "no" to Black women, or at the very least, vet Black women, then they'll tell you to get a passport and get away from ALL Western women, no matter what race, then they'll tell you "well, she identifies as a woman, and even though it's biologically impossible for her to have kids, adoption is always an option. Maybe yall can luck up and adopt a child that looks like both of y'all"


I hate it here.

 

[V Skyye]

Didn’t you just get out of a long term relationship? Just get back with your ex. Marry her and start a family. Starting a family with a stranger is a bad decision.

 

[Buckeye Fever]

my doctor always tells me "nah you are strong and healthy" when i tell him i'm too old to have a kid lol
but he always says i look younger than i am so it probably doesn't cross his mind that i am old af

Me and my wife were 37 when he had our last son. We went to school with a girl who mother had her when she was 45.

But nowadays, a lot of y'all women look substantially younger than you actually are. That's a testament to taking care of yourself. That baby's health would be fine.

 

[BK The Great]

Rather have a pet than kids the way the world's going.

 

[Capitol]

Yall just wake up and decide yall want to pop out some babies like its as inconsequential as deciding what draws to wear

 

[NinoBrown]

just need one girl I am dating is 6'1"...need a D1 baby from her lol

Breh...what if the child wants to do STEM and doesn't have an interest in sports?

 

[Eternally Jaded]

Now how many nice girls you meet who wanted to give you a family and you bushed them?

More than a few.

Mostly it came to down different priorities and me trying to avoid a major problem down the line rather than ignoring the flags(not on them but just on differences that matter).

Like I'm not perfect but faith is a large part of my life.

Some I've dealt with don't hold it close so what's that gonna look like in the future? Me expecting to raise kids in a Christian household, whereas for their mother she's ehh on it?

So I dipped.

Others were on board but so staid that they came with a built in list of things that were unacceptable l.

So I dipped.

And others, it just wasn't built on anything beyond vibes/lust.

I'm NOT hard up for attention at all, but man sometimes ish feels like what my parents had isn't out here anymore.