I have schizophrenia and depression AMA

[Citi Trends]

How do you feel about manic episodes? I used to get them multiple times a week, sometimes a day, but now I've identified a lot of triggers and don't have to worry as much.

At times I would bring them on purposely but I know it's not healthy so I try my best to avoid them now.

They're rare for me personally.

But when they do occur it usually happens as me being talkative to people not as humans but as things to interact with if that makes sense? I also spend money i dont have.
They end quickly and i feel terrible and also broke.

What does it entail for you?

 

[str8up]

They're rare for me personally.

But when they do occur it usually happens as me being talkative to people not as humans but as things to interact with if that makes sense? I also spend money i dont have.
They end quickly and i feel terrible and also broke.

What does it entail for you?

Yeah that makes sense, I will randomly start texting friends when I'm having an episode. Personally it helps because the mania makes my racing thoughts go kaio ken so getting them out relieves a bit of stress. My mind goes a lot faster than I can type them out though so it usually ends up being really jumbled or not making a lot of sense when reading it back because parts get cut out.

The reason I used to bring them on purposefully is because it's sort of like coke, although that is one thing I haven't tried. When under the influence of mania I feel on top of the world at times, crazy high self esteem and all that.

I have more problems with rapid cycling though. Multiple short episodes throughout the day. The reason I have been working to avoid them though is because it leads to me taking on more than I can handle or setting goals that are unobtainable and all that. Then of course there are the rebounds which aren't short lived, sometimes it will just be days or weeks of worse depression than usual.

Don't know if that outlines everything or not. I have the problem of not getting all the thoughts written down even when I'm not having any manic episodes, it just makes it worse.

 

[Citi Trends]

Yeah that makes sense, I will randomly start texting friends when I'm having an episode. Personally it helps because the mania makes my racing thoughts go kaio ken so getting them out relieves a bit of stress. My mind goes a lot faster than I can type them out though so it usually ends up being really jumbled or not making a lot of sense when reading it back because parts get cut out.

The reason I used to bring them on purposefully is because it's sort of like coke, although that is one thing I haven't tried. When under the influence of mania I feel on top of the world at times, crazy high self esteem and all that.

I have more problems with rapid cycling though. Multiple short episodes throughout the day. The reason I have been working to avoid them though is because it leads to me taking on more than I can handle or setting goals that are unobtainable and all that. Then of course there are the rebounds which aren't short lived, sometimes it will just be days or weeks of worse depression than usual.

Don't know if that outlines everything or not. I have the problem of not getting all the thoughts written down even when I'm not having any manic episodes, it just makes it worse.

I feel you with the racing thoughts. Just random thoughts and texts. Telling people random things. shyt that makes no sense and is jumbled about. And yeah just letting them put helps, unless people dont acknowledge them and it makes me feel like im trash.

And yeah that high can feel like what its supposed to be to be living normally, atleast for me. You embrace it because atleast its a "good feeling" out of the other shyt you feel.

I get what you mean. Not getting all the thoughts out isnt a problem, i know exactly what you mean. Some shyt just kinda loses you, its hard to explain.

 

[ZEB WALTON]

ya know i read a lot of what yall guys say and i just feel like some of that is normal everyday life shyt we deal with. dealing lonliness, being unhappy... i just hope yall got second and thurd opinions because my friend was hearing things, but it was only for a while and hes kinda completely normal now. he cant smoke weed. he used to think govt was after him (tho i ended up believing him...long story)

OP saying he has racing thoughts. i had racing thoughts growing up which is why i used to get high which opened me up, made me less shy, didnt have to think just learned to move off instinct... i like to think im ok but who knows. noone whos crazy thinks they crazy right? so just make sure you are what they say youy are before self medicating bro...

yall are saying yall send out random texts to ya friends... isnt that normal? talkin to yur friends

cuz i dont text anyone. im pretty sure people think im dead lol. id say thats less normal than what you guys are describiong. yall talk about weird ctazy shyt?

i withdraw and feel people dont get me,. but tahts cause im a new yorker stuck in south jersey and i hate this slow life with slow people i think. everyone thinks im crazy cuz im passionate in my conversations, they think im mad all the time when its just me being what i think is normal being loose

then ill hang with my fam and everyone else like me so i feel ok but maybe we all fukked ha

there was def something wrong with my girl. shje would cry everyday... wanting me to stay. mad possessive, attention seeking, extreme mood swings,. extreme personality changes... and shed call ME crazy all the time but i SWEAR it was her.. i feel i find a shyt load of people like this so maybe im crazy lol...makes sense ha

peace to op

 

[Kidd Dibiase]

This thread is an eye opener for me, i was in a relationship with someone who suffered from depression and was bipolar. When we was together i didnt fully understand what it all meant. She stopped taking her meds because she hated how they made her feel, I ended up becoming the replacement for the meds it became a little much for me. There are times when I just wanna be to myself and she would begin to overthink and blame herself and start having dark thoughts and would become emotional. She also was dealing with unresolved trauma from her childhood

 

[Citi Trends]

This thread is an eye opener for me, i was in a relationship with someone who suffered from depression and was bipolar. When we was together i didnt fully understand what it all meant. She stopped taking her meds because she hated how they made her feel, I ended up becoming the replacement for the meds it became a little much for me. There are times when I just wanna be to myself and she would begin to overthink and blame herself and start having dark thoughts and would become emotional. She also was dealing with unresolved trauma from her childhood

Yeah, i know what you mean.

As you're with somebody you think they can replace the medication and become your support system but what they dont tell you in therapy is "normal" people get tired of your shyt from time to time, so you take it harder than most people.
I did the exact things she did and unleashed that other people sometimes when i couldnt bottle it anymore.

 

[GUWOPPERS]

I have a mix of Truman Syndrome and paranoid schizophrenia.

My day to day consists of me believing I am being broadcast to people. I encounter people who watch me everyday but I don't know who is who. I kinda feel like an HBO subscription package.

 

[Citi Trends]

I have a mix of Truman Syndrome and paranoid schizophrenia.

My day to day consists of me believing I am being broadcast to people. I encounter people who watch me everyday but I don't know who is who. I kinda feel like an HBO subscription package.

That sounds real different, I've never experienced that. I just looked it up though.

I've felt like people can easily know my feelings and I get insecure, but thats it.

Im rooting for you bro.

 

[Citi Trends]

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[L@CaT]

Do you believe in God?

 

[O.T.I.S.]

Do you have low Vitamin D?

 

[kovi]

Don't know what it's like but I've been depressed before with multiple suicide attempts so maybe I can empathize to a certain extent.

Won't pretend to have answers or advice but I've somehow managed to maintain with this persistent dark cloud I live under.

Good luck I guess. Wish our peers would take the time to understand what some off us have to deal with instead of calling it "white people shyt" or telling us to man up.

 

[GzUp]

Do you have low Vitamin D?

Breh

 

[Citi Trends]

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[O.T.I.S.]

Breh

The Effect of Vitamin D on Psychosis and Schizophrenia