If You are in Your Mid 30's, You are Middle Aged...

[boogers]

It's funny how we look at the late 40 and 50-year-olds and call them middle aged. No. If you are in your 50's, you have roughly 20 years of life left on average. For American men, the average life expectancy is 74 years, and that number is steadily decreasing. Half of 74 is 37. By the time you are in your mid to late 30's, you have lived half of your life. I am in my early 30's still but I feel like I have lived the life of someone who is some 10 years older than me.

I have lived two lives. My second one began when I turned 27 and my reality came crashing down. It forced me to make some hard decisions. My thinking changed. My attitude changed. My outlook on the world changed. My outlook on my marriage and my children changed. My goals changed. My ambitions changed. I essentially became a new human being for better or worse.

Now I realize that time is the only valuable resource I have. And I have wasted so much of it. I'll never get it back. The more I age, time moves so much faster. I feel like I just blinked and we're already 3 months into the year. The days are still 24 hours long but I feel like I am constantly racing against time trying to accomplish so much in one day. Work, being a husband, raising children, catering to the needs of my family and household and barely having the time to cater to my own wants and needs.

I work like a slave. I am always physically tired. I work harder than most of my coworkers because my goal is to advance higher in the business of which I am employed. As a Black man, I have to work harder and do more to be recognized among the younger white men in which I compete. So I am always the 1st one in the building.

I am greeted by my alarm at 4AM every morning. I am out the house by 4:20AM. I open the store. I set up. Its tough labor. I do more work before 6am than most do in an entire 8 hour shift. By the time the other workers start showing up at 5AM, I am already in a sweat. I work 45 hours a week. Some days, I work 6 days a week for the extra OT. We are closed on Sundays. I do not complain about it. I have to break my back to get where I want to go because, by this time 30 years from now on Feb, 26 2053, I could already be dead. And besides my progeny, my sons, I have nothing to show for this life thus far. The poor decisions of my past dictate how I must live today.

This life is my curse for not following my heart when I knew I should've back in my early 20's. So I carry this burden and my shoulders and mind ache because of it.

To you 20 something year old guys on here, heed my tale of caution, pain and regret. Allow your ambition to dominate your life. Travel the planet. Escape the town or city in which you were conceived and reared. Experience different cultures. Learn from your elders. Learn from people of other ethnicities. Don't always inquire how someone you idolized became successful. Inquire about their failures and how they overcame those instead. Successes are not what builds a man's character, but his failures and how he overcame them does.

I tell the young guys I work with all the time; don't get trapped working here. If you are young, single and childless, find your passion and get lost in developing your craft in it. Learn to monetize it.

Don't be like me. Stuck with the mistakes of my past hovering above my head every day of my life like a black cloud of despair. Desperately trying to overcompensate for bad decisions. Trying to raise sons and be a husband while battling heavy emotions of loss, regret and unaccomplishment. Hiding those feelings for the sake of your family. Knowing you were meant for more but squandered it away not listening to your instincts; your intuition.

Take advantage of your time. One day, you'll look up and see that you're 30 something and have nothing of merit to show for it.

your post makes me want to cry

i understand. im in the same boat

but your life is all you have. and its not always fair.

maybe you have marketable skills... im an artist. i dont have shyt breh.

but you got balls for saying it publicly.

 

[Reptile]

who is subsidizing you nikkas living expenses? mama? girlfriend?

You nikkas dont know what finacially stable means lol

 

[Magic Mulatto]

sooo....what you live for?

I’m still trying to figure that out…

Basically, I’m just here…with my thoughts, my epiphanies and my bag of popcorn…watching the world go by…waiting on death…

 

[Turk]

This my last year in my 20's. Turning 30 next year scares the shyt out of me

 

[maxamusa]

This my last year in my 20's. Turning 30 next year scares the shyt out of me

go hard this year breh breh....all that bullshyt you got away with in your 20s aint cool in your 30s smell me

 

[Reptile]

go hard this year breh breh....all that bullshyt you got away with in your 20s aint cool in your 30s smell me

 

[Sauce Mane]

People need to stop paying attention to all this shyt

Just live your life, enjoy whatever you like and that’s it

Everyone is going to get old, there’s no escape so just enjoy the ride

 

[Mowgli]

Take the average age of death and divide in half

 

[DTXwavey_02]

Damn op I hope you accomplish whatever’s goals you have on this planet, you doing what you need to do to take of your family and I respect that a lot.

Post is definitely what people my age need, I’m 20 in school to do mris and x-rays and I realized earlier this year I’ve lowkey been bullshyting these last two years. Been studying a lot and I just need two classes left before applying for the x-ray program next year.

Work about 40 hours a week along with doordashing saving money, cause I’ve been looking into setting up vending machines. And it’s funny nikkas always ask why I’m not tryna enjoy my 20s and have fun, like nikka I’m tryna be comfortable and living carefree for the rest of my life

I’m glad my mom put it into to me early to work hard as hell in my 20s so I can live with no worries and be set for the remainder of my life, especially since I’m a young black male. I love my dad but he did a lot of dumb shyt in his early 20s including having 7 freaking kid, and I always say to myself I don’t want to be like him

But it’s never too late to accomplish your dreams and goals as long as you ain’t 40 in my opinion, good luck to you all

 

[Love Sosa]

We all choose the life we build for ourselves, most of us just don’t realize everything we do is a choice. I wish I would’ve recognized that sooner but there’s absolutely zero point in reflecting on the past. Age in general is hardwiring. Unlearn what society has taught you, envision your destination, and make a choice to pursue that destination. Experiences are not handcuffs, they are tools

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

I hear you but I had a bytch I was serious with in my 20s and I knew better than to get her pregnant as I didn’t have the means to provide for her and a child..she ended up being aint shyt and I dogged a bullet no kid no marriage and people were pressuring me to do it…

Life is all about decisions was all I was saying …can’t be woe is me about the decisions you made when it don’t turn out the way you want it to be..it’s a tough pill even for me to swallow as I haven’t made all the best decisions but this is part of the game of life

I’ve been there myself and I understand your viewpoint
But sometimes broken people or people not right with themselves
Still fall my g
It’s easy to type shyt out and say the things you said
It’s another thing when people are out here living life
People grow up and see unhealthy relationships everyday
So they say to themselves
I’m going to change how my childhood went no matter what
Meet a woman
Things happen even when a nikka is cognizant of that person not being the right one
fukk around and have a child and shyt just be that way
You can’t expect a human being to act just and righteous in every walk of life
We are all children in human being bodies ala Attack on Titans type shyt
Even if you had a decent childhood
We are imprinted with shyt we are actively running from until we reflect on why we are acting out the way we are
I can’t Monday quarterback another mans situation because I have enough empathy in me to know human beings are fallible
Now I’m not going to coddle a grown man but I will try my best to understand him and cast no judgement as long as he is trying to change his life
Heal and expel his demons in the best way he can
Listen(or in this case read)
Digest it and take what little wisdom is bestowed on me from a situation
That’s my whole point
We don’t listen but a nikka will be quick to tell you what he shoulda did
Or tell him to suck it up
Reading somebody’s catharsis is just that
Taking what you will and leave the shyt that ain’t applicable to your life
You will always learn something if you are open to it

 

[Roid Jones]

Now this is real. It isn’t over if you didn’t figure it out in your 20s, but definitely have it figured out/be on track by 40


My uncle retired at 50 and stays screaming at us about finances because he expects us to retire early too

Exactly also society puts expectations on ages, tell anyone you're north of 30 and don't have certain things in order and see the reaction you will get, it won't be one of sympathy

 

[Heavy_Handz]

I’m 42. I think once you hit a certain age and suddenly you can feel your body hurt in certain areas previously not an issue that is the universe telling you that you crossed over into middle age. So that would be 84 if my calculations are exact

 

[Don Snow]

my life advice is this:

society is fake. your job is meaningless. you are essentially born a servant to the capitalist superstructure and will either die while serving it or after you’ve fulfilled your use.

the only true way to be happy in your infinitesimally small time on earth is to accept that ALL of this is not real.

very few people fight this system of lies; those who do are killed.

it is a prison of illusions.

I feel you but the rent still due on the 1st

 

[MJ Truth]

I don’t understand why nikkas rush to have kids before they all the way straight..y’all didn’t know how to pull out?

Knowing HOW to do something and being ABLE to do something are entirely different things.