I'm terrified of BW.

[Barnett114]

We all go through this shyt my nikka

 

[xoxodede]

Even when BW have approached me IRL and have shown interest couldn't decipher whether it was real or if it was just small talk. I've had women tell me that I'm standoffish and that they tried to talk to me. The other day, a black woman at work asked me if I was ex military, she said that because she's seen me walk in the hallways many times and noticed how I walked. I asked her if it was a good or bad thing, and she said it could be either or. Mind you, I've never noticed her. She was very attractive too. I didn't know what to say after that. Was it just a general passing statement, or was it something else? I'm also afraid of getting the wrong signals mixed up. So even if a BW is genrally showing intrest, in that very moment I'll convince myself that she actually isn't interested and that I should just keep it moving. The worst fear for me, is confusing general small talk that a BW e, as them showing interest. I don't wanna have a convo with a sista and come away from the convo like

YEAH, She's totally feeling me.

But in her head she's like

I hope this nikka doesn't think I'm feeling him..

That would cripple me.

Usually when a woman makes small talk she is interested -- and just waiting for you to take the lead in asking her out -- or asking for her contact info.

The way you ask this - is important IMO.

Next time this situation happens - ask her if she is taken, in a relationship, etc.

And if she says she single -- ask her if you could take her out sometimes and her phone number.

----

Sometimes, we don't know if we feeling you or not. It could be a looks thing at first -- and getting to know you (going out on dates, phone calls, et) will be the only way we know we like you more than just attraction wise.

You never know - they could be intimidated by you -- thinking the same thing you are.

 

[fckyoupayme]

OP, you need to go to counseling so that you can heal and grow. Your anxiety and low self esteem has been attached to Black women, but I doubt if that’s it’s true cause. Us telling you that you’re attractive and to be confident isn’t going to help you. You need someone professional. If your leg was broken you wouldn’t hesitate to go to the doctor. Well, your mind is broken. No shame in getting help with fixing it.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I use to be very shy. Now no one who knows me now would call me shy. I still do a little anxiety when people stare at me too long but I'm over it for the most part. I can't do public speaking though but I actually thinking of doing toastmasters to help with that.

Anyway the way I went from being super shy to outgoing is by throwing myself into the fire. Put myself in many social settings and just talked to people over and over.

Here in DC we have recreational leagues for everything; even kickball. If I were you I would join something similar in your own town. Black runner's clubs are super popular. If I were you I would join something like that. You'll be nervous at first but eventually you'll get use to them and eventually it will make it easier to talk to other women.

Putting yourself out there is the only way to fix it.

 

[Biscayne]

Candi Burress has gotten more attractive with age. That's not to say she wasn't attractive when she was with Xscape..

 

[How Sway?]

You trolling breh breh

 

[MajesticLion]

Fables.

 

[tater]

@Meh



You've got all the tools. You're sexy and you've got something to talk about. Just talk, sometimes you'll feel awkward but eventually you'll get over it. It seems like a lot the first time, but all the subsequent convos will get easier! I remember having butterflies in my stomach talking to men when I was younger and I would say the stupidest stuff. I'm not saying I still don't say stupid stuff, I just get over it. In a few minutes they won't even be thinking about you. Just look at it like that. Maybe get your confidence up and talk to people you're not attracted to do you don't feel as much pressure at first, just to get conversations started.

I really don't have any tips honestly. Just be yourself, you'll find someone who will put you at ease. But you have to be at ease with yourself first. Remember, you is kind, you is smart, you is important.

 

[Sensitive Christian Grey]

I just want to leave these here

Negged, its nofap season

 

[CarmelBarbie]

I think you should get counseling. Sounds like you have crippling anxiety. You might need medication. But definitely counseling. If your still in the Charlotte area, I can recommend a great black counselor that two of my friends swear by. She actually focuses on relationships and intimacy too.

 

[GreenGhxst]

Just date dark skin indian girls



The real solution is going out and talking to black women

After two or three nights you'll be damn near over it

You gotta go on dates and shyt to realize that they actually fukk with you

Anything other than attacking the problem head first is a band aid

 

[Antwon Mitchell]

" I'm terrified of Black Women " -Meh

nikka you should be ashamed of yourself.

The Coli full of weird " grew up in the burbs/shelterd home " nikkas..no matter what you say you definitely didn't grow up around black people (outside of the other shelterd/burb ones).

Out of all words to choose from...this nikka gonna say "terrified" ...probably shyt in your pants or shake like that CVS cac when the black woman asked about using her coupons.

 

[Benefited]

Confidence, my friend, will solve this problem. Although it won't be overnight.

You're not a bad looking dude at all. So your confidence could use some work. As well as it seems to be anxiety could be at play here. I know because I've been there (although it was nearly with people I don't know very well and sometimes people in general)


Start off small, start off by saying hi, how are you, etc. And build from there.

I remember saying before "self esteem and self confidence are delusion prior to validation". Its tough telling people who think too much to be delusional,its not in their makeup. It will be hard to work yourself to the point of delusion to get to the validation,which will lead to the self confidence and self esteem, if your someone who overthinks. You should just go in thinking all of the negative shyt you are expecting to happen could happen,but only take note of the positive validation you recieved and build on that. Ever wonder how some men can only see the signs that he thinks show a woman is feeling him,but can ignore all the negative signs that show she is probably not interested? He will swear a woman is feeling him and you just don't see it,but he can point out all the reasons why she does. Alot of times we are reaching,but not always. But beating your head against the wall,understanding you are doing it because you need the validation will be a logical reason for you to do it. Which will help if you are someone who is too logical to be delusional.

 

[The Fade]

Op I hope you not one of those good looking trolls who pretends to not get p*ssy when you actually be smashing errybody sister and aunt

If so

If not:emomike:

 

[CarmelBarbie]

I guarantee if you tried to talk to a chick off an edible (don't eat too goddamn much lol) you'll see how easy it is and how much mental clarity you'll have. Also, don't put them on a pedestal. They're human just like you. They're also probably a little nervous too.

If you do build up the confidence and get shot down, DO NOT LET IT DISCOURAGE YOU! Try again.

Edibles aren’t good for people with anxiety, actually marijuana in general can sometimes make anxiety worse. I know a few brehs that had to stop for that reason. Hell edibles made me so fukking paranoid I had to go to the hospital. Granted I ate too much but idk if he should take them.