Just came back from a black feminist meeting

[duckbutta]

....first of all, I love how you racially sequester your tangent as if beautiful, accomplished women from all other racial categories are habitually dating dishwashers, fast food workers, etc....anyway, cant win here: when black women take a chance on a diamond in the rough --- and it just turns out to be rough (which is the immediate dating pool for many low income people), they are ridiculed for having a kid with a loser, and shunned as single mother. If they show some discipline, and create standards that they expect men to meet before they get seriously involved, then its "look at this uppity nikker bytch who dont wanna take a chance on me, Imma show her and get me a white girl as soon as my fortunes change" (as if the white woman was down from day one, lol)

Just say that you have been indoctrinated by the european standards of beauty, and you prefer white women. Stop trying to insult everyone's intelligence.

Lot's of people exposing themselves in here...

Point of the thread was to give an example of how black women lack awareness of what a good black man is...they see a black man with a "good job and good house and good car and strong family values" and they only know how to look at that point in time that they are looking at him right now...they do not understand that the "good" part of him...the part of him that got him to that "good job and good house, etc" happened a long time ago way back when he was a nobody...and that is with just about every man regardless of race...all people have to learn how to have that drive, that passion to be a "good successful person" very few people are born with it or born into families that give them the structure for it

And if you a black man...if you black period...let's not act like black women don't shyt all over black men that they feel are not up to their "standards"...i have dated all races of women...and anybody who has can attest to this...black women are the quickest group to go the "you aint shyt cause you aint got a nice car...you ain't shyt cause you ain't got a nice house" route...asian chick tell me i aint shyt cause i didn't protect her honor ( i don't give a fukk about some asian dude saying some snide comment in Japanese to you )...mexican chick tell me i aint shyt cause i am to cold and emotionless and she doesn't think i love her ( man i'm just trying to watch this spurs game can't we do that snuggling shyt later )...
black chick tell me i aint shyt and instantly talk about my lack of money...status...and social standing...

and kill me with that "take a chance on a diamond in the rough bullshyt"...all women take chances on diamonds in the rough...fukk it that is what a relationship is...a chance at something great...nothing more...nothing less...why you giving black women some sort of credit for it...like their aren't a lot of shytty people of other races in this world...

don't know where you get all this single mother and blah blah shyt from...my post didn't have anything to do with that..

was the white woman down from day one? Nope...was she down from day 128...possibly...

black women ain't want nothing to do with you until day 1,258 when she got an email saying you were the new manager of the engineering group...

It's funny that you throw this I prefer white women...when my original post doesn't say anything about a white woman...

Unfortunately friend you exposed yourself here...because you read my original post and saw me saying a black woman wouldn't miss with dude and automatically assumed that only a white women would be able to see his transition to success before it happened ...how come you didn't say asian woman...indonesian woman...italian woman...why you instantly jump into a white woman though? You think that if a black man is not dating a black woman then obviously he is aiming for a white woman...

 

[SouthernBelle]

I mean really, if black men were the top earners in the nation and chose black women, would they be meeting to talk about their problems like that? I swear these are economic issues that manifest in these emotional outbursts. When you look at how black women act out their issues and frustrations they want the stability of that middle class life, or greater and black men cannot provide that in certain cities. I mean how much money do you have to make in new york to live in a simplistic house like this

to much. Please let us know what they say about that.

We just had a similar discussion in the Poverty and Policy class. The issues in the black community (declining marriage rates which led to more OOW births and female headed households, concentrated poverty in the inner cities and subsequently crime, drugs, and mass incarceration, and etc.) all stem from economic issues. Going back to the 1960s and post civil rights era, black people were the only group of people who were locked out of the wealth attainment programs that all groups, even Jews, were able to participate in (VA benefits, loans, and etc). Limited residential choices for AAs at that time, purposeful spatial mismatch of jobs, and economic restructuring away from jobs (manufacturing) that provided a comfortable lifestyle for many AA families only exacerbated the problem and helped form what people consider the modern day black community.

William Juluis Wilson in The Truly Disadvantaged describes this process very well. Karen Brodkin in How Jews Became White Folk also discusses how black were systematically excluded from the "American Dream" and opportunities to reach middle class.

 

[SouthernBelle]

SouthernBelle, are you from GA or go to college in GA?

No, but I lived and taught in Atlanta for 3 years.

 

[Will Ross]

We have been trying to work with black women for years. the problem is they want the leadership role with none of the responsibilities.

 

[Busted_Toes]

black feminists

They simply refuse to acknowledge that the government played a hand in destroying the black family, instead they blame black men and worship white men. Fukk a black feminist.

 

[Crakface]

We just had a similar discussion in the Poverty and Policy class. The issues in the black community (declining marriage rates which led to more OOW births and female headed households, concentrated poverty in the inner cities and subsequently crime, drugs, and mass incarceration, and etc.) all stem from economic issues. Going back to the 1960s and post civil rights era, black people were the only group of people who were locked out of the wealth attainment programs that all groups, even Jews, were able to participate in (VA benefits, loans, and etc). Limited residential choices for AAs at that time, purposeful spatial mismatch of jobs, and economic restructuring away from jobs (manufacturing) that provided a comfortable lifestyle for many AA families only exacerbated the problem and helped form what people consider the modern day black community.

William Juluis Wilson in The Truly Disadvantaged describes this process very well. Karen Brodkin in How Jews Became White Folk also discusses how black were systematically excluded from the "American Dream" and opportunities to reach middle class.

Now i aint sayin she a goldigger............. Im stunned college is breaking it down like that. Sounds accurate to me. Alot of times in relationships bigger problems like money, make someone in the relationship nitpick little things. Like the woman may be upset that her man is not earning to the potential she would like him to reach and because she cant come out and call him a broke ass underachieving bum she nitpicks things that have nothing to do with the bigger picture. In a way, everything else about him begins to annoy her because of that dealbreaker. The way he breaths starts to annoy her. His expectations of her start to annoy her, his goals in life/friends/hobbies start to annoy her and it all can stem from that one thing, him being a broke loser who will never be in the top ten percent of black earners in the nation that only make 50k a year. Black women are fighting for a few million men. Someones got to lose.

 

[No_bammer_weed]

Lot's of people exposing themselves in here...

Point of the thread was to give an example of how black women lack awareness of what a good black man is...they see a black man with a "good job and good house and good car and strong family values" and they only know how to look at that point in time that they are looking at him right now...they do not understand that the "good" part of him...the part of him that got him to that "good job and good house, etc" happened a long time ago way back when he was a nobody...and that is with just about every man regardless of race...all people have to learn how to have that drive, that passion to be a "good successful person" very few people are born with it or born into families that give them the structure for it

And if you a black man...if you black period...let's not act like black women don't shyt all over black men that they feel are not up to their "standards"...i have dated all races of women...and anybody who has can attest to this...black women are the quickest group to go the "you aint shyt cause you aint got a nice car...you ain't shyt cause you ain't got a nice house" route...asian chick tell me i aint shyt cause i didn't protect her honor ( i don't give a fukk about some asian dude saying some snide comment in Japanese to you )...mexican chick tell me i aint shyt cause i am to cold and emotionless and she doesn't think i love her ( man i'm just trying to watch this spurs game can't we do that snuggling shyt later )...
black chick tell me i aint shyt and instantly talk about my lack of money...status...and social standing...

and kill me with that "take a chance on a diamond in the rough bullshyt"...all women take chances on diamonds in the rough...fukk it that is what a relationship is...a chance at something great...nothing more...nothing less...why you giving black women some sort of credit for it...like their aren't a lot of shytty people of other races in this world...

don't know where you get all this single mother and blah blah shyt from...my post didn't have anything to do with that..

was the white woman down from day one? Nope...was she down from day 128...possibly...

black women ain't want nothing to do with you until day 1,258 when she got an email saying you were the new manager of the engineering group...

It's funny that you throw this I prefer white women...when my original post doesn't say anything about a white woman...

Unfortunately friend you exposed yourself here...because you read my original post and saw me saying a black woman wouldn't miss with dude and automatically assumed that only a white women would be able to see his transition to success before it happened ...how come you didn't say asian woman...indonesian woman...italian woman...why you instantly jump into a white woman though? You think that if a black man is not dating a black woman then obviously he is aiming for a white woman...

You're exposing yourself as someone who either has no experience with black women (or women in general with all of this non-black women all see potential in good men except black women), or you've only messed with a hood booger or two....

I remember when I was in high school, immature as hell....my first couple of girlfriends were non-black, and with my limited experience and knowledge base informing me, I started running off at the mouth with all that "black women dont like regular/smart dude...black women only wanna date b-ball players/thugs/or d boys....I get along better with other races of women and they appreciate me....etc" You spend one night with a smart, beautiful, strong sista and you realize how much of an idiot you were...

You can date whomever you prefer. Im not opposed to IR dating. Life is too short not to maximize your personal utility...but all of these poisonous and absurd stereotypes you're condemning black women with, speaks to you and you alone.

 

[Just like bruddas]

1. I'm in California...I'm just now getting up and starting my day so I haven't been on the coli. Since September I haven't been on here before like 2 or 3pm EST.

2. I've maintained for a very long time that I am not a feminist. I believe in equality, but I also have my own personal beliefs, ideologies, and ways that I live my life that don't necessarily align with any particular group. I am my own individual. I wish people would stop trying to put me in a box.

3. Even if I was a feminist and subscribed to all of the ideology attached to it, I've learned not to discuss real life issues with the men on this board. They are either too stupid to comprehend it or they are way too immature to actually even read/listen to what you have to say before they dismiss it as bullshyt. I learned a long time ago not to waste my time.

Number 3 is something that I would love to have on this message board, a civil discuss with each other about topics and real life issues. Unfortunately folks here are to incoherent of hearing anything that doesnt have a joke at the end of it. They wanna act like its forbidden to be serious for once on here and its getting on my nerves, cause I really want to hear yall point of view on these matters of depression or angry for any reason, black men related or not. Maybe its something you dont agree with on society views of black women or women in general.

 

[B-Rock Odrama]

well the issue is that most black men start off so far behind the 8 ball that they are very rarely good from the jump...as a black man you have to learn how to be "good"...you have to want to be "good"...you have to dedicate yourself to being "good"...and the problem with black women is that they don't really want to have you around while you are going through this process...

When a black man is washing the dishes...a black women won't want anything to do with him...girl please...this nikka wash dishes for a living...
But when that black man is washing dishes he has that moment when he realizes...damn i am 22 and washing dishes i got to get my shyt together


Then he move from washing dishes to waiting tables...but a black woman won't want anything to do with him...girl please...this nikka wait tables for a living ...girl lets scrape all this food on one plate to help this nikka out
But when that black man is waiting tables he realizes that a few months ago he was washing dishes...and well slow motion is better than no motion

Then he move from waiting tables to cooking...but no black woman will want anything to do with him...girl please this nikka a cook...this nikka back here in all that grease all day...nikka go home every night smelling like crisco...
But when that black man is cooking...well now he been there awhile...now people who been there know him as the guy who went from washing to cooking...and now that black man is seeing the in and outs of the business...and he is thinking ...you know i could add a lil spice here...try this...try that...get a little creative...


Then he move from cooking to bartending...and now that black woman might not want him...but now she kinda interested... now he on her radar...now she see him out here mixing drinks and flirting with chicks and they tipping him 10 dollars and damn who is this white dude in a suit he seems to be all buddy buddy with......damn it's 3 a.m and i am still here...damn is he taking that entire tip jar home...damn i see some 20's in that jar
And now that black man is right there on the precipice...cause he has washed dishes...busted tables...served food...and cooked food...and been a bartender...and you know what...it took 3 years but damn everybody know this guy...people who have been coming here know him by name...when he says he used to be a cook people say "so that was YOUR eggplant paremesean

And then...they got a management gig open up...a new place opening up...and who do they ask...that black man of course...because he has seen every ounce of this place and knows it in and out
And now this nikka got a suit...now you look at the restaurant owned by or property managed by or team management manager is...this nikka...

And now all these black women are like ...girl that is a good man...girl he OWNS something...girl look at him in that suit i bet he got a big dikk...girl he worked his way up the right way...girl that is a gawd damn good man right there you think he single...

But...what those black women don't realize is that he was a good man when he was just washing dishes...

And well you didn't want him then...and now...well now he owns something and he doesn't really have time for you...he doesn't have any emotional attachment to you, black woman, because when he first became a good man washing that sticky ass alfredo off them plates...he looked around and didn't see you...black woman......you were to busy bashing him for washing dishes and being a 20 year old still living at home and having no ambition remember...

You don't want a good black man who is a good black man...you want a regular black man who is making the transition to a good black man...cause that transition is a very real struggle...and when he makes it that black man will always look back and remember the people around him in that struggle...or the lack of people...black woman...

I disagree and have noticed that a lot of sister's expectations for blackmen are so low that just finding a bm with a job period is a catch for them..even nikkas whom work at fast food joints have little problem pulling bw as long as they have game, dress well, and or good looking...hell even when I was unemployed and carless I still had no problems attracting decent bw....I think a lot of these dudes whom act as if you have to be a CEO to pull bw are ugly and/or lames.

 

[Crakface]

I straight up don't believe this statistic.

@Willstyles , at the topic and insight though.

20 percent?

 

[Just like bruddas]

We have been trying to work with black women for years. the problem is they want the leadership role with none of the responsibilities.

Only cause they feel that no one is there to take the lead. Have you fukking read my OP breh. These women are depressed because we are being taken away from them either by the grave or by jail. You saying they want the role, when in fact its thrown on them and have no choice but to take the responsibilities. They respect our place in the household, but its just a case of missing in action.

Youre too busy thinking about the after effects of not have men presented, we are way passed that breh.

 

[Will Ross]

Number 3 is something that I would love to have on this message board, a civil discuss with each other about topics and real life issues. Unfortunately folks here are to incoherent of hearing anything that doesnt have a joke at the end of it. They wanna act like its forbidden to be serious for once on here and its getting on my nerves, cause I really want to hear yall point of view on these matters of depression or angry for any reason, black men related or not. Maybe its something you dont agree with on society views of black women or women in general.

All we ever talk about is how black women feel. Anytime we address our issue with black women we are told we are bashing. Not one black woman on this site went at another girl. But how many dudes have gotten at chis b?

 

[Mike Ock]

...also add in to the fact the way a lot of black dudes just refer to women as bytches so casually. Generally, I hear this in the black community the most often. I'm just saying, I'm sure that not helping black females feel any better about themselves.

 

[SouthernBelle]

Now i aint sayin she a goldigger............. Im stunned college is breaking it down like that. Sounds accurate to me. Alot of times in relationships bigger problems like money, make someone in the relationship nitpick little things. Like the woman may be upset that her man is not earning to the potential she would like him to reach and because she cant come out and call him a broke ass underachieving bum she nitpicks things that have nothing to do with the bigger picture. In a way, everything else about him begins to annoy her because of that dealbreaker. The way he breaths starts to annoy her. His expectations of her start to annoy her, his goals in life/friends/hobbies start to annoy her and it all can stem from that one thing, him being a broke loser who will never be in the top ten percent of black earners in the nation that only make 50k a year. Black women are fighting for a few million men. Someones got to lose.

I think it depends on the classes you take. I am a sociologist (phd) and we talk about stuff like this all the time.

 

[#1 pick]

No, but I lived and taught in Atlanta for 3 years.