Just got divorced after 12 yrs...ama

[serial]

Theres no end all be all.....just have balance in your relationship....when problems arise nip it in the bud...QUICK
you have to have 100% honesty.....right or wrong be honest......and she should also
.....situations change....people change....thats life....if it works....great
Just be prepared when it dont...good luck

The issue with this is a lot of women lack accountability so fail to be totally honest. You being honest won't matter in the long run. Basically like being an angel in hell.

 

[serial]

This is the problem tho, y’all be on that “if you do it we can do it too” shyt

But for some reason it’s only when it come to negative shyt

If a man pay all the bills u don’t feel like “if a man can do it I can do it too”. Only when it come to fukkin around

Dap + rep

 

[Ya?]

Not gonna lie....i shouldve handled certain situations differently.....i was...kinda still am the "non chalant" type...just let her do what she do...my main focus was work keeping our lifestyle up to par.....
I shouldve put my foot down like "Nah you aint goin"....but i figure she a grown ass woman...just be safe and dont do no dumb shyt..
Communication...yea we talked but she just couldnt come out with the WHOLE truth...thats really all i wanted...just a bunch lies...and half truths....even when i proved she was lyin...she denied....and i finally said fawk it

It doesnt sound like you are taking responsibility for what you did wrong in this relationship.
It just sounds like she was wrong, and you went along with it and unless with have her side, we will only know yours.
It seems extremely strange that she had a good job, helping you financially get on your feet financially and did a complete 180 after you got back on your feet financially and stopped wanting to work for no reason at all. Seems there are other things you arent saying.

 

[Mordith]

Ill tell you one....a good one
Her Family.....my goodness....a daily train wreck....
Dont get me wrong they were good people
Cooked had dinners respected me helped me out at times....
But.......every......fukkin.......day.......drama
....her gm was cool....mama...just a leech...sis was cool...unncle a p.o.s
But gawdamn sittin round them sometimes u wanna jump out the fawkin window....

No mention of her father. Is her father in her life?

My theory on women is to avoid getting serious with any woman who did not have an active relationship with her father or a stand up step father.

 

[SlickHomie]

It doesnt sound like you are taking responsibility for what you did wrong in this relationship.
It just sounds like she was wrong, and you went along with it and unless with have her side, we will only know yours.
It seems extremely strange that she had a good job, helping you financially get on your feet financially and did a complete 180 after you got back on your feet financially and stopped wanting to work for no reason at all. Seems there are other things you arent saying.

Yea been waitin on this one.....start from the start of the thread.....read slowly thru.......i mean if you want.....it will explain itself

 

[Ya?]

Yea been waitin on this one.....start from the start of the thread.....read slowly thru.......i mean if you want.....it will explain itself

I am not attacking you, but as the saying goes there are three sides to a story, you, hers and the truth.

I did, perhaps i missed something feel free to enlighten me. All i recall is her going on sick leave.

 

[HARLEM AL]

Around the same time that we discuss why a lot of women let their mask slip once they get married? Or why they decide to leave because they’re “bored”.

That was dumb ass statement. Men are always held accountable and they take accountability when shyt falls through. Even in this thread he stated the red flags he missed. But he won’t answer what you ask him though. That’s a legit question that won’t get answered.

Breh, I’ve come to accept you can’t reason with most women because you can’t fight emotion with logic.

No, you can’t. They will end up trying to gaslight you and knock you off your square. In their head you personally attacking them instead trying to find reason.

 

[SAINT]

Don’t think I could ever be married, only if it’s polygamous and I have multiple women. Being with one person and doing all you can only for them to pull that shyt nahhh man. Especially with these women in my age range(18-25) and the bullshyt they pull that I have experienced or seen with my own eyes. fukk all that, these millennial and gen z broads are EVIL Trust me. I’ll rather protect my heart.

 

[SlickHomie]

I am not attacking you, but as the saying goes there are three sides to a story, you, hers and the truth.

I did, perhaps i missed something feel free to enlighten me. All i recall is her going on sick leave.

Understood...follow the thread fro. Pg2-3.....kinda sleepy more than willing to continue later.....all love

 

[HARLEM AL]

Yea been waitin on this one.....start from the start of the thread.....read slowly thru.......i mean if you want.....it will explain itself

She ain’t going to get it. She sees her self in that position and will do anything to protect what she “feels” is right. Instead of empathizing with you she some how makes it your fault or find ways where you were wrong.

That’s why I first suggested therapy. I’m pretty sure you had to deal with this type of shyt in your marriage.

 

[HARLEM AL]

Don’t think I could ever be married, only if it’s polygamous and I have multiple women. Being with one person and doing all you can only for them to pull that shyt nahhh man. Especially with these women in my age range(18-25) and the bullshyt they pull that I have experienced or seen with my own eyes. fukk all that, these millennial and gen z broads are EVIL Trust me. I’ll rather protect my heart.

And there it is..... People want you to throw away what see and experience. You’d be a fool not to take your experience into account.

 

[Ya?]

She ain’t going to get it. She sees her self in that position and will do anything to protect what she “feels” is right. Instead of empathizing with you she some how makes it your fault or find ways where you were wrong.

That’s why I first suggested therapy. I’m pretty sure you had to deal with this type of shyt in your marriage.

Wrong. I see a lot of people being dishonest in their part of the breakdown of a relationship and only blaming the other person.
Given this is a site dominated by men, any men complaining about a relationship breakdown is a surefire of being empathized with without further inquiry, likewise with women.

I am like this with men and women, I ask where said individual failed, it provides more objectivity then just dumping on the person whose side you dont have.
As far as the OP is concerned what I read, didnt make sense to me and so I pointed it out.

 

[Ya?]

She ain’t going to get it. She sees her self in that position and will do anything to protect what she “feels” is right. Instead of empathizing with you she some how makes it your fault or find ways where you were wrong.

That’s why I first suggested therapy. I’m pretty sure you had to deal with this type of shyt in your marriage.

Wrong. I see a lot of people being dishonest in their part of the breakdown of a relationship and only blaming the other person.
Given this is a site dominated by men, any men complaining about a relationship breakdown is a surefire of being empathized with without further inquiry, likewise with women.

I am like this with men and women, I ask where said individual failed, it provides more objectivity then just dumping on the person whose side you dont have.
As far as the OP is concerned what I read, didnt make sense to me and so I pointed it out.

I though men were supposed to be objective and not led by emotion.

 

[JQ Legend]

Because there aren’t women paying all the bills and that creates a sick dynamic in a relationship.

op said she had the job in the beginning.

You literally pop up in these threads to defend the woman no matter how wrong she is

Shorty cheated on breh but the man still wrong huh?

But since u wanna play that game, what percentage of households has the woman paying all the bills?

You’re citing rare exceptions where the man genuinely doesn’t have it and shorty chose to ride for him which is obviously not the rare kind of woman we’re discussing.

When is the last time u went on a first date and paid the whole way since this is a thing women do?

 

[Stuntone]

It doesnt sound like you are taking responsibility for what you did wrong in this relationship.
It just sounds like she was wrong, and you went along with it and unless with have her side, we will only know yours.
It seems extremely strange that she had a good job, helping you financially get on your feet financially and did a complete 180 after you got back on your feet financially and stopped wanting to work for no reason at all. Seems there are other things you arent saying.

In his first sentence he states he should've have done certain things differently. In your reply, your first sentence is "doesnt sound like your are taking any responsibility. "





Women always do that.

 

[Rawtid]

Cmon sis


He had to pay for the house and cars that he provided for HER. What do you expect? High value professional men have to work long hours. That’s nurturing in itself by doing all that shyt for her.

You might as well advise women not to date doctors and lawyers. Since they will be working so much and lack the “nurturing aspect”

My point was that when life events happen, such as new jobs with longer hours, babies, relatives needing aide,etc, there has to be understanding it COULD change the dynamic of the relationship and there should be some discussion/preparation around that. He wasn't a doctor or lawyer when the relationship started. Seems like he saw it as progression and she didn't and it created distance. As I stated before, there are few relationships that can be sustained where one person is working long hours, not even friendships, yet alone marriages.