Men Reveal The Moment They Knew Their Marriage Was Over (article)

[JamilALAmin]

Our generation is going to have alot of broken, lonely people in their 40's. Hell im in my 20's and it only took me two relationships to find out it wasnt for me. Love is for fools, and peace of mind is priceless. You can have all that shyt.

Yeah it really doesn't have shyt to do with being Black. Or not as much as people think it does. Marriage is a going out the window for folks of all races. Our generation will be the first one that shows that.

 

[Playeroni]

Yeah it really doesn't have shyt to do with being Black. Or not as much as people think it does. Marriage is a going out the window for folks of all races. Our generation will be the first one that shows that.

Yeah dirtbags come in all shapes and sizes, black/white, male/female. Ive spoken to individuals that are 19,20 with no desire to ever get married. Theres no point.

 

[RiffRaff]

White woman - WOAT

If he had been with a black woman she'd be out there with him.

This is the exact reason right here I would NEVER marry a white woman.

 

[Reginald Noble]

9. "I knew my marriage was over the day I got arrested for protesting and trying to prove my life mattered as a black man. At the time, I joked with friends that my wife would probably divorce me for protesting. We laughed, but deep down there was an unsettling reality to what I had said. Safety and security meant everything to my wife and she wasn't happy when I told her I wanted to protest. As a black man married to a white woman, it was extremely difficult to describe to her that my sense of security rested in my humanity -- something that wasn't being acknowledged by society. I thought she wouldn't want to stay around for this part of my life. She could choose to ignore it because of her race. The reality for me was that I couldn't." -- Gregory C.

This is why I say CAC women should be your last resort out of all races, but the reality is the average Brother can't afford to protest. There are all kinds of repercussions to getting arrested and certain countries ask if you've ever been arrested before entering. Now obviously if it's mistaken identity or some shyt that can't really be helped. But no sense in deliberately putting yourself in a scenario to be arrested especially if you making big dollar bills or will in the future. Don't compromise your income and career options because at the end of the day Black Lives Matters is not paying our salaries. Regardless, it's your Wife's job to be empathetic towards your resolve, but if you gonna be about that #occupy life you better be mentally prepared to lead a life full of financial struggle. Most Women won't accompany you for that ride, period.

 

[Mass]

I'm headed home from work in 10 mins..gonna fuk my wife when I get home...dyck been hard all day..married life aint all bad, trust...

Same p*ssy for a thousand years... fukk that I'm good.

 

[CodeBlaMeVi]

Call me crazy or whatever but I'm starting to feel like marriage and having kids isnt worth the headache. I mean I've got one seed but when I think about having another I'm like

I'm on that steelo too.

 

[thirdeye]

Choose better women, brehs.

 

[AwkwardHand]

the day I got arrested for protesting and trying to prove my life mattered as a black man

got damn...

 

[↓R↑LYB]

getting that napalm from the kids

That's the one that probably hurt the most.

Breh was probably like, "Canada ? Why would y'all go to Canada withou.................."

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

Lmao yall got me out here reading dudes divorce stories, This dude has to pay spousal support the rest of his life unless she dies or remarries lol
---------------------

How bad a man's divorce will be depends on the state you are in. In my state, there is such a thing as indefinite support to an ex. My ex and I agreed that she would stay home with the kids. That is, I left it up to her. We had kids. I worked hard. I had a graduate degree before we married. She had a BA in communications. She went slowly insane during the marriage. I should have known better than to marry a rich girl. She stole from us to support her shopping habit. She didn't pay the bills, so we had late fees and one month, our cells were shut off. Which prompted me to start taking care of the bills. I took over the bills and paid down $30k in CC debt I was unaware of, that she had run up. I cancelled the cards, all except one, which I couldn't cancel, so when we separated I asked that she not use it. She had a job of sorts the last few years we were married but hid the true extent of her income from me. She announced she was taking an international cruise with a female friend and that I had to be okay with that, and her doing so every year. I had the kids and a full time job while she was gone (and also had a previous business trip out of town while she was gone. In the hope of saving our marriage, I relented on my opposition to the trip. I saw her and her friend at the airport. As they walked away from me, her friend said "don't worry, Jed, we'll call if we need more money!" bytch. I meailed every day she was gone and met her at the airport with flowers when she came home. Eleven days later I was moving out, to a rental house with my clothes and a twin bed mattress and some old linens and a sleeping bag. I didn't see the kids for a few weeks until my lawyer managed to get me some time.

I felt as if she had completely betrayed our marriage with the stealing and the wanting a life that we couldn;t really have because of a mortgage and four kids - all the result of what I thought was a joint enterprise and decisions we made knowing all the work and sacrifice would be worth it.

Three mediations and 1.5 years later we had a trial. In the meantime she ran up the one credit card in part buying a $1,600 ring for herself because she "couldn't stand not having a ring on her finger" and Christmas presents for the kids. Part of what sucks about the system is judges who get mad at both spouses when one of them is the insane one and the other reacts simply to protect himself. Anyway, two of her lawyers quit on her. She got held in contempt (no penalty) and I got stuck with the credit card debt she racked up (as well as my own, to equip a rental house to handle the kids and me).

I got stuck paying her $4,000 a month in support. indefinitely. Child support I don't mind. But indefinite support? I don't think the lawyers and judges in the system know quite what a sentence like that does to a person. My work is very up and down in terms of income. The financial insecurity I live with is pretty literally killing me. lawyers and judges say "well, she'll get married" or "something will change."

Well, that may be true, but if something changes, I get the privilege of paying my lawyer to go back to court and ask for a modification. If she remarries or I retire or get disabled or want to change careers - it doesn't end automatically. And I truly do not understand the justification for indefinite support. Why should I have to support her? I understand the rationale for transitional support. But why, just because my income earning ability is better than hers, do I owe her? if we are equals, and given that I supported her all those many years, why is it I owe her anything after a period of adjustment and retraining or schooling?

So, she spent $105,000 on legal fees. I spent $45,000 that could have helped the kids go to college.

It was bitter, nasty and evil and was a fight the whole way because she was and continues to be vindictive and petty. She continues to this day to use the kids and their desires to do things like fill out college applications and pay the fees for doing so, to get money from me. She puts them in the middle, knowing that ultimately I will give in because kids.

There are and were so many horrific things she did. So many awful, bitter, mean spirited things that I was actually fearful that our friends thought I hit her or cheated or did drugs or something. I did none of the above.

So, yes, my divorce was the single worst experience of my life because I live in a state with an archaic set of laws that favor the woman who stays at home and is a "traditional wife" while I was the sucker who supported her and, trying to be a decent man, treated her as an equal and let her decide what she wanted to do to be a good mother. Her choice left me with no choice. I had to work. And the irony of the whole thing is not lost on me.

If I remarry? No impact on my support burden. And, my new wife (or cohabitating SO) will be subject to having her financials subpoenaed by my evil ex if there is a support modification proceeding. And of course, women getting support never file to modify the support they receive because they no longer need it, right? Ha!

So don't marry a ginger. Get a prenup. Do not marry a girl who does not intend to work. And don't stay for the kids. I did and all it got me, because of the length of the marriage, was a potentially life long financial burden that is slowly crushing the life out of me. When's the last time someone said they got a divorce too early?

Kids, don't do like I did. Marry later and carefully. If she won't sign a prenuptial agreement, then she is not the girl for you. Remember, she may seem nice now, but look at her mom. I don't mean physically though. Look at how she was raised. You can and will be punished in your forties and fifties and sixties for a mistake you made in your twenties. Major disincentive to ever have a serious relationship ever again and a ironclad incentive to never, ever marry again. I can't afford the emotional toll and I really can;t afford to pay another leech.

And it kind of sucks. Sorry this comes off as bitter, but I got fukked. I do have good days and am far happier now. I have my life back and my relationship with my kids is solid and damn good. As they are getting older they are realizing just how insane their mom is.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

Damn..... some of those dudes I feel legitimately sorry for.

You feel sorry enough to suck me off

 

[be back in a bit]

My cousin is getting married next, and he's only 27.

 

[↓R↑LYB]

Damn, can you imagine being locked up Cuz you protested for your rights and your wife leaves you because of it? Wow...

No because my wife would be out there with me

Nah, if it were a Black woman leaving him it would be plat, but these dudes stick their fingers in their ears and go "Lalalala" whenever anything negative about their white women come up.

:brehwow:

1. "I actually realized my marriage would not go the distance while talking with a friend over breakfast. My buddy was lavishing praise on his wife and said something to the effect of 'She always has my back.' Suddenly, it hit me: I got the complete opposite from my wife. I received disdain, disrespect and disinterest. It was a few years before we separated, but the path was set that morning.

i feel this cat's pain.....

Share with the class breh, this thread is for healing

 

[be back in a bit]

Our generation is going to have alot of broken, lonely people in their 40's. Hell im in my 20's and it only took me two relationships to find out it wasnt for me. Love is for fools, and peace of mind is priceless. You can have all that shyt.

Doesn't this kinda contradict itself? Are you saying our generation will be broken and lonely because they don't marry. But then you say love/getting married is for fools. So should we get married or not lol.

 

[RoyalQ]

Damn number 9. I would have been out there shouting till i lose my voice and fighting the powers that be with you.