MILITARY STORIES

[YBE]

Story from a patient at my job: back in 06 he was on a day patrol in Iraq. As they drove through some village area a small armored battalion or some shyt was passing in the opposite direction, slowly; there was a tank being driven back to base. Anyway during all this basic shyt, a little girl walked up to one of the vehicles and started begging for candy; apparently a lot of soldiers give these kids American candy, and this particular girl was well known to the soldiers as being a nice kid so they always gave her the most. The patrol slowed down and shots started getting fired. Someone shot a RPG at the vehicles but missed. Still that shyt did a lot of damage. All hell broke loose, the soldiers were shooting and shyt.

After the dust settled they realized the little girl had panicked and ran in front of the tank. She got run over, and her entire body was completely crushed like a can. The patient said the dude driving the tank was an older dude, must have had kids of his own. When he saw what happened he fell down and couldn't get up - dude temporarily lost control of his legs or some shyt, he just couldn't handle what had happened.

I'm still sad at this shyt man...

 

[T-K-G]

What's the dumbest shyt you seen someone get kicked out for?

 

[Him Duncan]

we've lost at least 50 people recently in my department alone for "K2" or "Spice" before DADT people getting kicked for fakkitry.

haha this dude i went thru bootcamp with got kicked for shytting his draws. The people who did laundry kept finding stains, then one day they found a full fledged nugget like

 

[Crakface]

we've lost at least 50 people recently in my department alone for "K2" or "Spice" before DADT people getting kicked for fakkitry.

haha this dude i went thru bootcamp with got kicked for shytting his draws. The people who did laundry kept finding stains, then one day they found a full fledged nugget like

Was he fighting. Dont they have whats called battle shyt where soldiers are crapping themselves in fear.

 

[Him Duncan]

nah dude was just an idiot i'm pretty sure he did it on purpose. He also called my rdc a bytch among other things

*Edit*: to expand on "bytch" I'm pretty sure it was "lil black bytch" she must not have liked hearing that coming from a beige guy who shyts himself

 

[T-K-G]

we've lost at least 50 people recently in my department alone for "K2" or "Spice" before DADT people getting kicked for fakkitry.

haha this dude i went thru bootcamp with got kicked for shytting his draws. The people who did laundry kept finding stains, then one day they found a full fledged nugget like

spice


but at shytting draws on purpose, i thought laundry duty was the best job to have at Bt but i cant even imagine doing laundry and seeing straight nanny in peoples draws

 

[Mr210]

is 28 to old to join the military

 

[Trill Bellamy]

I know a nikka that got kicked out for tellin' nikkas some chick gave him a handjob while at work, apparently the nikka was lyin' and she went to her commander, and that nikka got the boot

 

[Real Talk of NY]

is 28 to old to join the military

the air force age limit is 27 but there are waivers around that. I know a dude that was 30 when he joined.

The other branches accept dudes in their 30s. Not sure about the Marine Corps.

 

[Real Talk of NY]

What's the dumbest shyt you seen someone get kicked out for?

In the AF, PT failures.

 

[T-K-G]

In the AF, PT failures.

but how are you not in shape by the end of basic to be able to pass the tests

 

[Lucky_Lefty]

What's the dumbest shyt you seen someone get kicked out for?

A cat I knew in Korea got kicked out for fear for his life. Apparently he smacked up some S. Korean gangster in a club. They called the provost Marshall's office saying they'd start causing harm to soldiers if they didn't kick him out the country or give him to them.

When I came thru basic we had this dude we called Area 51 tha got kicked out. Long story short, he went to the amnesty room and came ou ass naked

 

[wutang512]

What's the dumbest shyt you seen someone get kicked out for?

My cousin got Kicked out the AF for Robbing one of his "Friends" House.

There was alot of other stuff before hand that led to him getting kicked out (Weed smoking, Tickets On Base, Etc...)

But that was the last straw....

nikka got Dishonorable discharge and Felony theft on his record

 

[General Mills]

Ok. I was in the Navy. . When I signed up I came home and told my parents. . . . My mom is Meanwhile my dad is . . Why join the Navy? Your ass can't swim.. I was

Fast forward to bootcamp. Comes time for the swimming test. Now they may have changed it since I was in but this is how it was supposed to go.

1. They had a big Olympic style pool. On the deep end there was a ladder that went 10 feet in the air and on the top was a diving board big enough for like three nikkas to stand on.

2. You and two other cats were supposed to jump off. . Hit the water.. Swim the length of the pool, then backstroke the way back. Once you got back to the deep end you had to tread water or float on your back for three minutes.

3. If you did not know how to swim they had a lil secondary pool to the side with some instructors who will teach you how to float on your back. Then your test would be to float on your back for 5 minutes.



Ok. . I admittedly could not swim. I knew this. I was not afraid of the water. Been going to pools all my life. . But I just went to holler at bytches. I was not getting in the deep water. Plus I did not want to look like a bytch and go to the kiddy pool. I figured I could fake it till I make it. In hindsight. . This strategy almost got me murked.



Me and two other cats climb up to the diving board. . . I am standing up there and it was high as fukk... But I was strangely calm. They blew the whistle and I just stepped off the board casually brehs. Hit the water. . .

And dropped like a rock.

 

[General Mills]

Man I hit that water and had no clue as what to do. I literally dropped right to the bottom of the pool. I remember sitting on the bottom of the pool and I could see the other two swimmers kicking their away to the shallow end.

I was just down there chilling. . And the thought came to my mind that this is it brehs. Ive been on this earth 20 years and I have lived a full life. I was at peace with dying. I kinda reclined and did not even put up a fight.

I think I closed my eyes when all of a sudden I felt something slip under my arms and I was being yanked to the surface. They had this huge pole that I guess was designed for asses like me. I come out of the water like a submarine! First thing I hear is that I am getting cussed the fukk out


Chief - WHAT THE fukk SHIPWRECK! DIDNT I TELL YOU THAT IF YOU CANT SWIM YOU TAKE YOUR fakkit ASS TO THE SHALLOW END?

Me - Yes Chief. ( snot and tears running down my face )

Chief - DO YOU KNOW THE AMOUNT OF PAPERWORK I WOULD HAVE TO FILL OUT IF YOU DIED OUT HERE??!!?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR FAT ASS CANT EVEN FLOAT?? WHAT THE fukk IS GOING ON??

Me -


He really was shook cause I guess it looked really bad. I really would have died and he was freaking out. He pretty much stood there and cussed me out for a good 5 minutes.

There was a lot of people there too. At least three other boot camp companies. The whole place was silent and they were all just looking at us. After he gets done going off on me he tells me to get my fakkit ass to the kiddy pool and then he walks off disgusted.

By this time. . I had zero intention of getting back in ANY pool. So I started walking to the kiddy pool. . . . then peeped the line for the people who had just passed their swim test. . I just slipped right in line and nobody said nothing. .


They stamped my papers that I passed and I

back to the barracks before anybody could change their minds.

I get back and I am relaxing. .There was two other cats who did not pass their swim test and they were packing up to go home. They were mad as fukk. Hold up! How did General pass? We all saw him fail!!

Im just chilling in the cut. Hit the bricks playboi