My Chick cant take Constructive Criticism at all

[iceberg_is_on_fire]

You have to be real with these women breh. Back in the past, my wife would be like.

Wife - : You have no filter? Why are you so cold?
Iceberg - : The truth doesn't have a temperature.

She got used to dumb shyt with her previous nikka having her acting like that.

People before you be fukking shyt up. People need to hear what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. When we first got together, she complained about her job. After a while, I had to stop that shyt. I'm like, you going to complain all your life? If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem. If you aren't going to change it, stop bytching about it. So, eventually, she went back to college and got her bachelor's degree. I had to put her on the 12 step Iceberg plan. Quite easy to remember since all steps are the same. I don't do bullshyt. In return, you'll get my loyalty and my aid and assistance is unwavering. I'm still going to do things like watch porn when you are on that time of the month but when I do, I'll take my ring off since I have morals and shyt.

 

[Dog Based Gremlin]

Give an example.
It's true a lot of people can't take constructive criticism but then again a lot of people can't give it either.

for an example, ill say you know eating alot of candy isnt good for your teeth or health in general, u should cut some of it out cause i've see u eating alot of it recently, just wanna save your teeth....just saying

she'll take that wrong

That bytch is emotionally blackmailing you. Not all women are like that.

go deeper on what this means

From a female perspective, I assume they react negatively because the man isn't supposed to notice any flaws.

You're supposed to be saying "all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections". If you say you don't like something about her matter of factly then that would probably hurt. Then some people get defensive when they get hurt, then the fight etc etc

Imagine if your wife/girlfriend looked at you without your shirt on and matter of factly said "you should go to the gym". It stings no matter who does it

that stuff never hurt me, if she said "you a fat ass, get your ass in the gym and lose that gut, fattty!!" then yeah

but if she said "you know, u could definitely do some gym time, you letting yourself go,too young to have a beer belly... just saying" then thats cool, id respect it

 

[nineteeneightysix]

brehs, is this an all woman issue? she gets so mad and say im disrespecting her when im just trying to enlighten her to an issue im observing.
id respect someone more when they tell me what i dont want to hear than to suck up to me and let me fail without telling me the truth. I figured you could confined in your partner if anyone in the world
am i right? my girl wants me to p*ssy foot around and beat around the bush and i wasnt really raised that way

hahaha....You are having Logical Nikka problems... None of my relationships with women have been successful because of this issue...I am an extreme person...Either I keep my mouth shut or I tell you EXACTLY what I am thinking...Women DON'T like this type of personality...

(1) If you keep your mouth shut, then they say "you don't know how to communicate"...

(2) If you speak your mind, then they say "you don't support them and blah blah"....

You need to remember that women like to be in AGREEABLE relationships...

You have to treat women like CUSTOMERS/CLIENTS...

(1) Before you tell her the truth, you have to tell her all the things she does right...People in general, don't respond well to up front criticism...

(2) You have to acknowledge what she is saying (whether you agree or disagree)...You have to validate her feelings (even if her reaction is irrational, you have to understand that based on her personality and experience, that it is perfectly normal for her to behave that way)...Don't patronize her, your job is to help her make the decision that you want her to make while she thinks that she came to that conclusion her own but with your help...You have to ask her to tell you more about what she is experiencing...

(3) DON'T give her the answer...It will make her feel like you are patronizing...If she is a smart woman, she already knows part of the problem and part of the solution...Your job is to support and facilitate a full understanding and better solution...

You do this by asking her to tell you the problem from her perspective, and you ask her about what solutions she has thought about...When you have this information, you can start plugging your knowledge where she has gaps...

This way it seems like you are working on the issue TOGETHER and you are not belittling her...Women love togetherness...

Basically,
If you want to learn how to effectively communicate with women, read about Communication Skills for Healthcare professionals, especially in the areas of medicine and nursing...

The way that doctors and nurses are trained to communicate with their patients, is the same way that men should communicate with women...

It is VERY effective...

 

[KinksandCoils]

for an example, ill say you know eating alot of candy isnt good for your teeth or health in general, u should cut some of it out cause i've see u eating alot of it recently, just wanna save your teeth....just saying

she'll take that wrong


go deeper on what this means


that stuff never hurt me, if she said "you a fat ass, get your ass in the gym and lose that gut, fattty!!" then yeah

but if she said "you know, u could definitely do some gym time, you letting yourself go,too young to have a beer belly... just saying" then thats cool, id respect it

I get it.
But remember women think differently then men so you can't use how you would react or think in a situation.

 

[GoPro]

nice little twist, why is it women need all this word play? why cant we just say "i dont like your hairstyle"

Cause they're delicate creatures. They can "read" you all day, but the minute you reverse the target it's, "you don't understand" or "Youre being oppressive"

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

that stuff never hurt me, if she said "you a fat ass, get your ass in the gym and lose that gut, fattty!!" then yeah

but if she said "you know, u could definitely do some gym time, you letting yourself go,too young to have a beer belly... just saying" then thats cool, id respect it

There's a lot of explanation and sugar coating going into that. I'm not saying telling each other what's on your mind or helping each other get better is a bad thing but if you're doing it at the expense of the other person's feelings, unnecessarily, then you're just an arse

 

[Dog Based Gremlin]

hahaha....You are having Logical Nikka problems... None of my relationships with women have been successful because of this issue...I am an extreme person...Either I keep my mouth shut or I tell you EXACTLY what I am thinking...Women DON'T like this type of personality...

(1) If you keep your mouth shut, then they say "you don't know how to communicate"...

(2) If you speak your mind, then they say "you don't support them and blah blah"....

You need to remember that women like to be in AGREEABLE relationships...

You have to treat women like CUSTOMERS/CLIENTS...

(1) Before you tell her the truth, you have to tell her all the things she does right...People in general, don't respond well to up front criticism...

(2) You have to acknowledge what she is saying (whether you agree or disagree)...You have to validate her feelings (even if her reaction is irrational, you have to understand that based on her personality and experience, that it is perfectly normal for her to behave that way)...Don't patronize her, your job is to help her make the decision that you want her to make while she thinks that she came to that conclusion her own but with your help...You have to ask her to tell you more about what she is experiencing...

(3) DON'T give her the answer...It will make her feel like you are patronizing...If she is a smart woman, she already knows part of the problem and part of the solution...Your job is to support and facilitate a full understanding and better solution...

You do this by asking her to tell you the problem from her perspective, and you ask her about what solutions she has thought about...When you have this information, you can start plugging your knowledge where she has gaps...

This way it seems like you are working on the issue TOGETHER and you are not belittling her...Women love togetherness...

Basically,
If you want to learn how to effectively communicate with women, read about Communication Skills for Healthcare professionals, especially in the areas of medicine and nursing...

The way that doctors and nurses are trained to communicate with their patients, is the same way that men should communicate with women...

It is VERY effective...

i never thought about the Nurse/patient approach, nurses and doctors definitely know how to deal with all types of unruly patients with kind hearts, ill have to Google around with their communication techniques

There's a lot of explanation and sugar coating going into that. I'm not saying telling each other what's on your mind or helping each other get better is a bad thing but if you're doing it at the expense of the other person's feelings, unnecessarily, then you're just an arse

I guess its just since we been together for years, she should know that saying something like this wouldn't hurt me and shouldn't hurt her either, i can understand sugar coating a new relationship like a few months in but this chick practically my wife but still gets mad like we just met a month ago

 

[GoPro]

From a female perspective, I assume they react negatively because the man isn't supposed to notice any flaws.

You're supposed to be saying "all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections". If you say you don't like something about her matter of factly then that would probably hurt. Then some people get defensive when they get hurt, then the fight etc etc

Imagine if your wife/girlfriend looked at you without your shirt on and matter of factly said "you should go to the gym". It stings no matter who does it

That wouldn't hurt. That would be motivation cause I'm trying to KEEP her. That gym line is pretty much a warning that your SO's eyes are wandering.

 

[Food Mane]

Did you call her a hooligan? Please tell me you did!

Btw, I bush any chick who I see can't accept another perspective. Got this broad right now who knows she's in the bushes, but tryna creep her way back by saying she knows when to back down and accept when she's wrong. Nah shorty, u staying in them bushes. Ain't no redemption round here. Plus everyone in the office knows her mentality, so it ain't just me. Some ppl just can't accept someone telling them they're doing wrong.

So much to appreciate in this post.

Bush as a verb
Redemption?
fukking a girl from work

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

@Dog Based Gremlin It's a personality thing. On the bright side she gets mad and tells you off, she could be the puppy dog/wounded eye type or she could make it seem like it didn't get to her and hold it against you for years to come.

You tell her how you see it and she tells you to shove it up your behind. Maybe you should also haven gotten used to her by now?

 

[Lakers Offseason]

Like say, she gets a new hairdo and you hate it
You can say some shyt like
Remember that hairdo you got for Mike's wedding, it suits your face much better

You gotta assess each woman, each situation individually. While that worked with your wife, this breh's wife might hit him with "So what you trying to say about my face?!"

Best way to communicate with wife/girlfriend and not fight unnecessary battles, is to avoid direct criticism. She ain't looking for that.

I've been married 11 years and I know for a fact that my wife ain't looking for solutions when she tells me shyt. She just wants someone to listen to her talk.

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

That wouldn't hurt. That would be motivation cause I'm trying to KEEP her. That gym line is pretty much a warning that your SO's eyes are wandering.

You think it means that she's seeing better and telling you you're not making the cut and it still wouldn't hurt?

To me it just seems rude at best and passive aggressive at worst and even then I find that to be an offensive thing to say to someone

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

You gotta assess each woman, each situation individually. While that worked with your wife, this breh's wife might hit him with "So what you trying to say about my face?!"

Best way to communicate with wife/girlfriend and not fight unnecessary battles, is to avoid direct criticism. She ain't looking for that.

I've been married 11 years and I know for a fact that my wife ain't looking for solutions when she tells me shyt. She just wants someone to listen to her talk.

true dat

 

[DrunkerThanAMotherfucker]

Being able to accept and work on criticism takes courage and maturity.

It's like a defense mechanism for those being criticized. They don't want to cave in and accept that what they're doing is wrong or destructive. It forces them to question the path they are on. Some people get defensive, because who knows us better than us, right?

 

[Diondon]

You gotta assess each woman, each situation individually. While that worked with your wife, this breh's wife might hit him with "So what you trying to say about my face?!"

Best way to communicate with wife/girlfriend and not fight unnecessary battles, is to avoid direct criticism. She ain't looking for that.

I've been married 11 years and I know for a fact that my wife ain't looking for solutions when she tells me shyt. She just wants someone to listen to her talk.

: Well, I aint into completely biting my tongue now. Having my woman out here looking crazy. if something needs to be said, just find the best way to say it. I look at it like negotiating with foreign diplomats. Bite your tongue you get screwed. Say something the wrong way, you risk offending them.