My Chick cant take Constructive Criticism at all

[Hollywood Co]

From a female perspective, I assume they react negatively because the man isn't supposed to notice any flaws.

You're supposed to be saying "all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections". If you say you don't like something about her matter of factly then that would probably hurt. Then some people get defensive when they get hurt, then the fight etc etc

Imagine if your wife/girlfriend looked at you without your shirt on and matter of factly said "you should go to the gym". It stings no matter who does it

This

Just telling your girl what you don't like about her is just like saying you don't really like who she is. That can make her feel she isn't good enough for you. Men and women both don't like to be told where we lacking at.


You have to keep it positive and light when trying to help improve an aspect of your significant other. Women are sensitive creatures and most will take any slight from someone they value to heart.

No one wants to be told what they're not doing and it sounds like you're harping on that with her rather than focusing on improving whatever you see she can get better at.

 

[Lakers Offseason]

: Well, I aint into completely biting my tongue now. Having my woman out here looking crazy. if something needs to be said, just find the best way to say it. I look at it like negotiating with foreign diplomats. Bite your tongue you get screwed. Say something the wrong way, you risk offending them.

I hear you.

When it comes to clothes and shyt like that, I know my wife won't get offended if I say "this item doesn't look as good as that other item" or "this looks better on you". But it might offend some other girls.
You just gotta learn to navigate your woman's emotional landmines.

 

[GoPro]

You think it means that she's seeing better and telling you you're not making the cut and it still wouldn't hurt?

To me it just seems rude at best and passive aggressive at worst and even then I find that to be an offensive thing to say to someone

Pretty much. The way I see it, your SO is supposed to be attracted to you mentally and physically. If I'm getting hints that that's no longer the case, then I gotta step up if I want to keep her. If I don't care enough to keep her, then I continue on as normal. It's cut and dry, binary 1s and 0s for me. Then again, I'm a pretty non-emotional person, and women tend to be 80% emotion, so there's a lot of disconnect in our approach. Over the years I've noticed that coddling women and telling them what they want to hear really doesn't work towards my benefit.

 

[puppetmaster]

@nineteeneightysix is on point with that reply.


It's the compliment sandwich. You have to give em 2 or 3 positive reinforcements/validation type of comments before you can throw that "negative" grenade out there, It's bullshyt but it's a sacrifice you gotta make to keep peace sometimes


-P-

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

Pretty much. The way I see it, your SO is supposed to be attracted to you mentally and physically. If I'm getting hints that that's no longer the case, then I gotta step up if I want to keep her. If I don't care enough to keep her, then I continue on as normal. It's cut and dry, binary 1s and 0s for me. Then again, I'm a pretty non-emotional person, and women tend to be 80% emotion, so there's a lot of disconnect in our approach. Over the years I've noticed that coddling women and telling them what they want to hear really doesn't work towards my benefit.

You didn't answer the last part, wouldn't it hurt?

 

[GoPro]

You didn't answer the last part, wouldn't it hurt?

No. Cause losing weight and changing my exercise routine is something I can manifestly do. Your goal in a relationship is to make the other person happy as well as yourself. If you're doing something that interferes with their happiness, yet you see nothing wrong with it, that's called an irreconcilable difference and grounds for separation. If me getting fat is due to lethargy and not health reasons, then obviously I wouldn't care enough about her feelings to get hurt by her comment. And that's the same with any other drastic change in my appearance. Some people will just do shyt and expect you to like it because they like it. That's not a healthy relationship.

 

[GoPro]

So much to appreciate in this post.

Bush as a verb
Redemption?
fukking a girl from work

I haven't smashed breh. She wants to hook up but like I said, she's been bushed.

 

[Dog Based Gremlin]

I like the emotional landmines analogy, thats what it feels like....all is well until i step on one of those ''hidden landmines'' then all hell breaks loose.

Are all women this way?

 

[Lakers Offseason]

I like the emotional landmines analogy, thats what it feels like....all is well until i step on one of those ''hidden landmines'' then all hell breaks loose.

Are all women this way?

yeah breh. You gotta learn and keep tabs of where the landmines are if you want the relationship to stay healthy.

But also, if a girl's emotional landmine field looks like this

that girl might not be someone you wanna be with long term

 

[JLova]

You can't talk to a woman like you talk to a dude. The average woman struggles with criticism. Key is to finesse it in a way that doesn't make you look like a dikk.

 

[The5thLetter]

What I've learned about people in general is that you have to have tact with the things you say, like it's not what you say but how you say it. I'm open to criticism because I'm listening to the message, and ways to improve, however if my man is too harsh or brusque I'll feel a way about his approach more than the content (altho after a certain point you get used to it if you know there's no malice behind it).

Other women can't take it no matter how you give it to them and that's something you'll figure out in time and if it's something you can overlook. Also, even if you feel she has no reason to be upset at something, you can't invalidate her feelings, as that will only make things worse, so you deal w/ it or bounce cuz logic doesn't work on irrational people.

 

[swimmingpools]

nice little twist, why is it women need all this word play? why cant we just say "i dont like your hairstyle"

Because that can be a little hurtful to some people.

Not everyone reacts to situations like you do so you cant really say "why cant I do this to her, it wouldnt bother me if done to me" because you two arent the same person. If you really want to change a behavior you have to learn how to communicate that to her in a better way because she will be on the defense. For every negative you should use 5 positives. Or you could do like @Diondon said. "I really appreciated when you ___ ____ ___." so in that way, you'd be using compliments to reinforce or bring to her attention what you want. Just dont start anything with "why do you always" or "why dont you ever" because your criticism wont be well received using absolute terms.

 

[Broad Street Bully]

Talk to irrational beings and expect a rational response brehs.

thats exactly wat nikkas do on here

 

[GoFlipAPack]

Man, for a lot of them it's just easier to fall into emotions than to think logically

Breh I used to think the whole femalse being illogical thing was a myth but my ex you used to have me like 24/7
We'd be conversating/arguing and she would never use her brain it was always her emotions. Had me like Youre missing the whiole damn point!

 

[babylon1]

fukk tact. tell the truth. plain and simple. no candy coating

if a chick breath stanks, imma say it stank with no fukks given

one hunnid till i die