"nice guys aren't really nice" is a Cop out women use

[PartyHeart]

It's two sided. It says something about the men they like and it says something about them as well. Same is true for the reverse. That said, you can't compare female Ls to male Ls because of the different value systems. Men generally get the stuff that women want (quality time, attention, non sexual affection) with there Ls while women generally get the stuff that men want (sex) with their Ls. No guy would consider a one night stand with no call back and L. No girl would consider a guy taking her out and being attentive and thoughtful but wanting to hold off on sex until the right time an L. Most women would prefer the long term relationship to having sex and moving on (at least they proclaim that they would), therefore it would stand to reason that a man looking to engage in such a relationship should have an easier time than a man that just wants to fukk and move on.

Well it takes a huge oversimplification to make that logic work first of all, as you've sort of noted. But the idea that women are always looking for a relationship begins once we are of dating age and never ends. Does that mean each time a woman gets into a relationship and it doesn't last forever the man has taken an L? Just because women are "supposed" to want that and therefore if she ever turns one down or ends one, he's losing? No. That doesn't even make sense. A relationship not working out isn't an L, its life. And there are many, many, many factors that can make a relationship not palatable to one or both parties involved or make a relationship go sour. There are far fewer factors that can make a random sex session sour. So the equivalency that poster and you are attempting to draw is not apples to apples.

 

[PartyHeart]

@Always-Right Liggins @Emperor_ReinScarf its pretty sad that you are using your mod powers to take to deleting posts and banning people from threads because you can't handle an intellectual conversation and don't want the gendered hypocrisy you push as an agenda here to go unquestioned.

There was nothing I said in that David Banner thread that was even offensive, let alone warranted my post being deleted. The simple fact is you could not logically contest my post and so you quickly deleted them so no one else could see and notice the hypocrisy in stances. How sad.

 

[MikelArteta]

Mods can't. Ban

@Always-Right Liggins @Emperor_ReinScarf its pretty sad that you are using your mod powers to take to deleting posts and banning people from threads because you can't handle an intellectual conversation and don't want the gendered hypocrisy you push as an agenda here to go unquestioned.

 

[PartyHeart]

Mods can't. Ban

So who did? All of a sudden my post disappeared and I can no longer post in that thread.

 

[ralph lauren]

nice guys that pretend to be nice to get sex are just lames

 

[philmonroe]

"Nice guy" is code for "sucker". If you gotta make up your own adjectives to describe yourself then you already lost because you don't even know the game that you are playing...see "good woman". fukk being a nice guy...just be you. That said, I have noticed a trend of females questioning the sincerity of "nice guys" or ascribing every negative quality in the book to nice guys in order to deflect from their shytty decision making. There are some guys who are fronting but the great majority of "nice guys" just flat don't know any better. Think about it, who is gonna intentionally behave in a way that has proven to be unsuccessful in order to try to be successful . A lot of guys are convinced that this is the way to go. It's up to guys who know to put them up on game. It's up to them to listen. And it's up to chicks to keep it 100% and stop leading them on/using them.

I agree except the last sentence. People going to be users to get over. No different than dudes lying to chicks just to fukk when he knows she wouldn't fukk him otherwise. People are just liars at times to get what they want but everything else I agree with esp folks using terms like "nice guy" "educated" etc to describe theirselves. If you are those things somebody else will co sign it for you.

 

[FTBS]

Well it takes a huge oversimplification to make that logic work first of all, as you've sort of noted. But the idea that women are always looking for a relationship begins once we are of dating age and never ends. Does that mean each time a woman gets into a relationship and it doesn't last forever the man has taken an L? Just because women are "supposed" to want that and therefore if she ever turns one down or ends one, he's losing? No. That doesn't even make sense. A relationship not working out isn't an L, its life. And there are many, many, many factors that can make a relationship not palatable to one or both parties involved or make a relationship go sour. There are far fewer factors that can make a random sex session sour. So the equivalency that poster and you are attempting to draw is not apples to apples.

Who said this? I clearly explained what I was referencing in terms of Ls. If you want something and you make effort to get it and you don't get it, how is that not losing?

 

[FTBS]

I agree except the last sentence. People going to be users to get over. No different than dudes lying to chicks just to fukk when he knows she wouldn't fukk him otherwise. People are just liars at times to get what they want but everything else I agree with esp folks using terms like "nice guy" "educated" etc to describe theirselves. If you are those things somebody else will co sign it for you.

This is true. My only thing is that you can't complain about this if you do it. If you want honesty and forthrightness in relationships you can't perpetuate deceitfulness. If you wanna play the game then play on, you just can't get mad when it's your turn to get played.

 

[MoonGoddess]

Look breh, at the end of the day, everybody wants something.

Nobody does shyt just to do it.
You're either doing it to garner some kind of favor from others or you're doing it for selfish reasons that we masquerade as noble bullshyt like karma.

If nice guys are frauds then so are nice girls. And if that's the case then everybody is a fraud. And like I said, the whole concept loses its meaning.

There's no such thing as unconditional or selfless acts.

That's the reality of it.

I don't agree. You never did anything for anyone out of the goodness of your heart? I have, being nice is easy. Being a good person is easy. Being a jerk or a$$hole is hard, or at least i think so.

 

[Rarely-Wrong Liggins]

@Always-Right Liggins @Emperor_ReinScarf its pretty sad that you are using your mod powers to take to deleting posts and banning people from threads because you can't handle an intellectual conversation and don't want the gendered hypocrisy you push as an agenda here to go unquestioned.

There was nothing I said in that David Banner thread that was even offensive, let alone warranted my post being deleted. The simple fact is you could not logically contest my post and so you quickly deleted them so no one else could see and notice the hypocrisy in stances. How sad.

You're a known troll, you were trolling and I banned you from the thread. The end.

 

[philmonroe]

This is true. My only thing is that you can't complain about this if you do it. If you want honesty and forthrightness in relationships you can't perpetuate deceitfulness. If you wanna play the game then play on, you just can't get mad when it's your turn to get played.

Oh I agree 1000% on this. People always crying about what don't benefit the while skimming over the stuff that does on both sides

 

[Phitz]

Nice guys attract crazy chics though

 

[PartyHeart]

You're a known troll, you were trolling and I banned you from the thread. The end.

You're a liar. I asked a question. Somehow all the hateful misogynistic garbage that gets posted on here that questions everything about women as people isn't trolling, yet me asking if the same "dress" rules apply to Black men and how white people perceive them as it does to women and how men perceive them is trolling?

You're a coward that can't handle an opinion opposing yours being stated. You're even afraid to let it stand and be visible because other people might read it and see how hypocritical those that think like you are.

 

[Incogno]

i can understand the saying..."nice guys aren't really nice".....it's all about displaying a certain image in order to get something from a woman....a lot of men don't value women as individuals....it's gotten to the point where i can tell a lot about a man ....by one simple indicator....if he's ok with being friends with a woman...first and foremost


cause a man who is willing to be friends with you first and foremost....shows that he is willing to look at you as an individual first and foremost.....

it's not simply a coincidence that the friendship between a man and woman is the foundation of a marriage..a life long commitment that is beyond the superficial....and marriage is what i'm interested in

 

[FTBS]

i can understand the saying..."nice guys aren't really nice".....it's all about displaying a certain image in order to get something from a woman....a lot of men don't value women as individuals....it's gotten to the point where i can tell a lot about a man ....by one simple indicator....if he's ok with being friends with a woman...first and foremost


cause a man who is willing to be friends with you first and foremost....shows that he is willing to look at you as an individual first and foremost.....

it's not simply a coincidence that the friendship between a man and woman is the foundation of a marriage..a life long commitment that is beyond the superficial....and marriage is what i'm interested in

You do realize that this can be done under the guise of friendship right? As a matter of fact, that's basically what the nice guy does.

Guys don't marry or really devote much time or effort to women that they don't want to fukk, I don't care how friendly she is. You are right about the importance of friendship but that indicator that you suggested is not a realistic or very effective one. The only true indicator is paying a attention and getting a handle on a guys character.