Essential Official Random Thoughts Thread (Ladies only)
I cant help myself breh, i always give advice when no one asks for it
Aaight
I know you're not asking for advice or a response but @iBrowse @'d me and i'm a guy so we give unsolicited advice whenever we can
I don't feel like there is anything wrong with the idea of using a relationship as a trial run/learning experience so that you are better prepared down the line. I've certainly done it before. I think the only thing that will make it "bad" or "wrong" is if you continue to give the guy delusions of going further than you intend. Like bringing up things like what kind of baby names you like, or the kind of house you want to grow old in, or the kind of wedding ceremony you picture in your head.
All harmless topics on their own, all blaring signals to men when you are in a relationship.
You probably wont be in full control of your emotions, most people aren't (except me). In order to avoid that you have to look for someone with as little gain in the relationship as you have. Your gain is simply data collection (ideally), so you need to get with someone who is looking for the same thing.
The problem is, if you present yourself in too good of a way or put too much value in the man, the upside to staying in the relationship becomes huge, and feelings get caught, and breaking up becomes difficult. And then you become that "cold-hearted bytch" you fear becoming (at least in his eyes) because you upped the value of the relationship far beyond what it ever meant to you and now he has new expectations.
Example:
It would be like if 2 ppl are fwb, but then the guy introduces the girl to his parents... he's changed the nature of the relationship.
Now she feels more valuable to him because they have shared something intimate.
So if he goes back to treating her like a fwb, she is now inherently offended, even though she would have been fine remaining a fwb if he had never introduced her to his parents.
It's a dangerous and risky thing to do because part of the experiment would see how my parents/family would react to me being in a relationship; so I would allow them to meet him but then if my family gets attached then I'm playing with their emotions too. That's why, realistically, I don't see myself doing this all for my sake because ruining someone's life or damaging them emotionally isn't worth it.
Or, as you suggested, I get with someone with the same mindset to a degree. Someone who is willing to-
Holy shyt this really is friends with benefits
Gonna revamp my outline on this
Just be careful.. some brehs out there will def fall hard for you. And then you will put them on ignore and make them #HOH for life
Aaight
It's a dangerous and risky thing to do because part of the experiment would see how my parents/family would react to me being in a relationship; so I would allow them to meet him but then if my family gets attached then I'm playing with their emotions too. That's why, realistically, I don't see myself doing this all for my sake because ruining someone's life or damaging them emotionally isn't worth it.
Or, as you suggested, I get with someone with the same mindset to a degree. Someone who is willing to-
Holy shyt this really is friends with benefits
Gonna revamp my outline on this
Yeah... that changes everything.
I fully understand why you would want to gauge your parents reaction, but I agree that doing that will be very dangerous.
You would have to give the breh a headsup and a convenient reason to not try to get too attached to your family.
Some men would naturally avoid that, some men will see winning your family over as the key to your heart. Very risky...
You just gotta find someone who can operate in a fully functioning relationship with you while remaining totally and purely in the moment.
But... if i'm being honest with you... I think the bigger wildcard here is you, not the man
Yeah... that changes everything.
I fully understand why you would want to gauge your parents reaction, but I agree that doing that will be very dangerous.
You would have to give the breh a headsup and a convenient reason to not try to get too attached to your family.
Some men would naturally avoid that, some men will see winning your family over as the key to your heart. Very risky...
You just gotta find someone who can operate in a fully functioning relationship with you while remaining totally and purely in the moment.
But... if i'm being honest with you... I think the bigger wildcard here is you, not the man
Wildcard?
Holy shytIt's a dangerous and risky thing to do because part of the experiment would see how my parents/family would react to me being in a relationship; so I would allow them to meet him but then if my family gets attached then I'm playing with their emotions too. That's why, realistically, I don't see myself doing this all for my sake because ruining someone's life or damaging them emotionally isn't worth it.
Or, as you suggested, I get with someone with the same mindset to a degree. Someone who is willing to-
Holy shyt this really is friends with benefits
Gonna revamp my outline on this
I learn from the best
.You're a bit of a overthinker aren't you
You're a bit of a overthinker aren't you
No
