Essential Official Random Thoughts Thread (Ladies only)
No regretsI hate falling out with actual friends, my former best friend of 15 years and I aren’t friends anymore
I’m a little sad but the truth is we’ve grown so far apart
right here
Got told to smile this morning. And it wasn't a polite, "you should smile" it was a "SMILE! 
"
Me:
Why do people think your mood is gonna change because they tell you to? Smh get that shyt outta my face this early.
"Me:
Why do people think your mood is gonna change because they tell you to? Smh get that shyt outta my face this early.
Huh, I used to lurk these forums years and years ago - my gender identity has shifted to something much closer to a woman recently. Kinda bummed to see the lady forum is still dead-ish, but I hope I'm welcome to post here now?
The fight between Pascal's Wager and atheism is kicking my ass.
Both have their pros and cons. Choosing to believe gives me hope for something better, and that someone is watching over me with protection. On the other hand if you believe that good spirits exist, there are evil spirits as well.
Choosing not to believe gives me a lot of clarity and the realization that life is just the way it is and it's what you make of it. The con is that it gives me bad existential crisis when thinking about the after life or how I can get into a really bad freak accident at any point of my life randomly.
I also believe the brain is so powerful it can make you schizo when it comes to religion.
Both have their pros and cons. Choosing to believe gives me hope for something better, and that someone is watching over me with protection. On the other hand if you believe that good spirits exist, there are evil spirits as well.
Choosing not to believe gives me a lot of clarity and the realization that life is just the way it is and it's what you make of it. The con is that it gives me bad existential crisis when thinking about the after life or how I can get into a really bad freak accident at any point of my life randomly.
I also believe the brain is so powerful it can make you schizo when it comes to religion.
All that to say this, I think "demons" have been summoned in my closet again.
Whether spiritual or mind, I brought this on myself when I went through two subreddits related to demons. I didn't get the sense of evil from reading but for sure some darkness that caused discomfort. And I gassed myself saying I was psyching myself out for no reason.
"None of this is real."
But it was very real for the community that posted. So I went to bed with these thoughts (bad idea) and i felt a physical presence I hadn't felt in two years.
Two years ago when I got back from my deployment I had the strangest waking moments. Moments where I woke up gasping for air (never done that before) or someone shouted in my face to wake me. And it always seemed like something was conjuring in the closet but I chucked it up to me being paranoid. But my paranoia got worse so I decided to burn some sage and hype myself up that it was all in my head.
It's been fine ever since but last night I got paranoid again. I don't know if my brain is creating demons or if demons truly exist. The terrifying thing is whether it's all in my head or not, it still feels like reality. And I'm getting to the point where the more I believe, the stronger my brain will create this reality.
Whether spiritual or mind, I brought this on myself when I went through two subreddits related to demons. I didn't get the sense of evil from reading but for sure some darkness that caused discomfort. And I gassed myself saying I was psyching myself out for no reason.
"None of this is real."
But it was very real for the community that posted. So I went to bed with these thoughts (bad idea) and i felt a physical presence I hadn't felt in two years.
Two years ago when I got back from my deployment I had the strangest waking moments. Moments where I woke up gasping for air (never done that before) or someone shouted in my face to wake me. And it always seemed like something was conjuring in the closet but I chucked it up to me being paranoid. But my paranoia got worse so I decided to burn some sage and hype myself up that it was all in my head.
It's been fine ever since but last night I got paranoid again. I don't know if my brain is creating demons or if demons truly exist. The terrifying thing is whether it's all in my head or not, it still feels like reality. And I'm getting to the point where the more I believe, the stronger my brain will create this reality.