my momma bought me some cherries. i was so excited. and then i ate them and now they might just rot in the fridge
i hope you enjoy yours tho
its funny going through my old texts and im just like "
i got dirt on you doggie 
"now this week i feature muse's text translations. presented by muse:
friend: hey did you talk to (your friend but now my friend too) to see when she wanted to go to the drag show?
TRANSLATION: hey i know i have her number, and i know you really dont wanna go, and i know this is something i wanna do but did you contact our friend to go to this drag show?
me: nope
TRANSLATION: uhh no. you can do that. i told you to do that
F: oh ok
T: can you please do it?
me: she said she down
what day you wanna?
do i gotta go? haha
T: i really dont wanna go and you know this and you're basically strong arming me but i will be the connect
F: i start school next week
T: i know you really dont wanna go. and i know i told you when i start school and we had this conversation multiple times. so we can go any day you wanna go since you dont wanna go and im asking you to
me: i know but what day
T: we just wasted time and texts when you could've picked alrady
F: what days is it?
T: i know this is something i wanna do and you dont, but ima be a lazy ass and ask you to look up the days of something you dont wanna do
me: i wanna curse you out right now *tell her days*
T: you are really testing my patience and im about to end this conversation in a minute and leave you sol
F: why you wanna do that?
*she picks a day and time*T: damn i guess i am pushing my luck, my bad
i proceed to invite another friend who in turn brings another friend. AND im not driving
and that concludes this week of muse's text translations
I want to come right out and ask him if he's well endowed but maybe that's too much. If it's as nice as I think it is, I may have sex this year LMAO!!
wtf.
you just reminded me I don't work tomorrow and I got some vodka in the freezer 
We would have so much fun!