I hate the idea of it but once you get passed a certain age as a man its a very real possibility...
truth. It's probably a 8.5/9 outta 10 possibility.
Young boys, if you do consider a woman with kids as "damaged goods," but you insist on playing around throughout your 20s, then you better keep you a real solid, childless prospect in close range or it's highly likely that you will be wifing the so-called "damaged goods."
You could always go back about a decade in age...but society might view you as a creeper...this ain't the mid and early 20th century when wifing a young woman 8-10 years younger was commonplace.
we have too many black children being raised without father figures. Raising that child is doing a service to our community in all honesty. Wish more men would step it up.
The Black community is lacking terribly.
It really is a community service.
I'm kinda disturbed by how many niccas have no measure or sense of servitude. (...or likely money, either...broke a$$ niccas can't take a lil' nicca to Chuckee Cheese a couple times a year and go to his Pop Warner game a couple times as a service?! FOH.)
To the TS, just know and clearly articulate your boundaries.
So until you're 100 percent sure, I present to you the 3Ps.
Until you're 100 percent sure, you prob. wanna fall back on the smashin' her b/c it clouds judgment, and could create more of an
undue sense within both of y'all of family...and confusion. Perception.
Until you're 100 percent sure, And you might not wanna OD on the "intimate" family setting where all of y'all are sitting around the crib, eating takeout, playing Go Fish and watching Dora. Protection/Preserving.
Until you're 100 percent sure, you might wanna do more periodic outings for the sake of the three Ps... perception, protection, preserving...
(Meaning you can extend the length of time as a positive male figure and help protect the children's' feelings by doing more activities that cast you in a light of more male figure/mentor than household, in-house, stand-in dad. And you can feel less of a sense of burden that way).
But you might already be in too deep, and if so, you can retreat for a while. Then reappear and do it in a way that doesn't involve smashing and has more elements of a platonic thing.
If you are REALLY ready, then you can do it.
It's a whole, 'nother ballgame, though. So much selfless, sacrifice involved.