Random Swagless Moments You Remember About Yourself

[GoFlipAPack]

7th Grade year

Summertime, and I go to my boys house....I walk in and I see his fine ass sister and one of his cousins....she was fine as hell too.....

His sister says, "Hi" but the cousin just stares and then walks in the back....I'm chilling in the front looking at T.V. and his mama yells, "Aye T, how old are you?"

I tell em and then she aske what grade I'm in and I tell them that too....

I overhear his mama telling her niece, see yall the same age and you think he cute....talk to em....

We hit the pool and she come out and sit by the pool.....just waiting for me to talk to her....I look at her, give her a head knod and kept swimming...

 

[GoFlipAPack]

I have one that stuck out as soon as I read the thread title. For all 4 years of college I was in a long distance relationship. Stayed faithful the whole time and never once touched, kissed, or stroked another chick. I was at Georgia Tech so it wasn't really that hard a thing to do. Right before I graduated me and my girlfriend broke up for good (after like 15 short break ups).

Over the course of my time in school I probably had 9-10 girls (at various times) there kind of waiting in the wings to see when me and my girl would finally call it off. One of them was this white girl with HUUUUUUUUUUGE breasts and legendary dome. I don't think there was a dude on the football or basketball team who hadn't given the seal of approval on her mouth game. Literally, the day I changed my facebook status from 'In A Relationship' to 'Single' she sent me a private message that was the equivalent of . It was my first experience with a white chick digging me and I was fresh out of a relationship so I didn't really think much of it.

Fast forward like a month later I graduated college and settled into my first off campus apartment with a roommate. The Friday of the first week I was there she sends me a text like 'mind if I come over tonight?'. I tell her its cool and this is where the real moments begin.

She comes over in some 'shorts' that just go past the moose knuckle and a super tight t-shirt. Soon as she hits the door she asks for a hug and the big breasts press up against my chest. After that hug I literally had to go in the bathroom and wait for the wood to settle down.

At the time we didn't have any living room furniture so all guests had to go straight to the bedroom . She goes to the bedroom and sits in my computer chair and I sit on the edge of the bed like

Apparently this chick is really into sports so we start talking about football and 40 yd dash times. Mind you this is at like 10 PM on a Friday night with NO ONE ELSE in the apartment. Eventually, we get into a debate about who is faster between Randy Moss and Michael Vick This lasts for like 30 minutes before her brother calls. She goes 'I have to go meet my brother and get something I'll be back in 10 minutes'.

As she leaves she gives me another hug and I come to full attention again. As soon as she gets in her car I run to the bathroom and rub one out .

She comes back 10 minutes and I start up the Michael Vick v Randy Moss speed conversation again. This conversation lasted like 2 more hours before she finally gave up. After that she was like well alright out.

The next day I was talking to one of the dudes on the bball team and I told him what happened. His exact words where 'Dude, you TALKED TO HER. She has domed me up like 8 times and I have never TALKED TO HER'.

By far my biggest no swag story.

1. Wearing a tight shirt w/huge boobs
2. Came over on a friday late at night
3. Was a known mouthologist w/ good credentials
4. She was feeling you.
5. You didnt smash ,get dome or a handjob

 

[Jards]

The worst two was from high school. One was me on some dumb young nikka shyt trying to show out by running up the steps three at a time (don't ask why) cause this female I was crushing on was right behind me. So I trip like a 1/4th of the way up the steps. I try to play it off and keep going. I fall all the way up the steps until the very top where I fall face first on the ground. Then my book bag that was on one shoulder came flying off and landed directly on the back of my head. The whole fukking hallway fell out laughing including my crush.

The other was this girl that flat came up and told me she thought I was cute as fukk. I had no game to holla back and she was cute her damn self. So she constantly had people coming up to me trying to get me to ask her out. So she found out I was in advanced calculus as a junior and some people she knew in the class told her how crazy smart I was. So she waits outside the class and tells me "oh you're in this class, you should tutor me cause I'm horrible in math. My response "what you gone pay me". She says "oh don't worry, i'll make it worth your time". My stupid ass tells her that ain't gone work for me, I need some exact figures. No wonder it took so damn long to lose my virginity.

Same thing happened to me- some chick at uni who I was thought was cute for years came up to me in our last year talking about can you give me some one on one tutoring while basically eye fukking me. A negro hit her with the "you're gonna have to pay for that". Didn't get as far as asking her for quotes though she just gave me the and kept it moving

Most memorable was when I was hanging out with this girl when I was about 18 who I went to school with ever since I was like 8 years old. Everyone used to crush on her cause she cute as fukk with one of the best asses you ever seen and was a real cool girl. She just came out of a relationship with this dude cause he cheated on her so she was on rebound status meaning she was ready as fukk. Went back to her place after college one time and everyone was out, just me and her in the house watching Eddie Murphy Raw. The part comes on when Eddie's swinging the mic around, talking about Dexter swinging his dikk no homo and I'm talking shyt to her like "I can do that shyt". She looks me dead ass in my face and says "go on then". I'm fukking disgusted with myself thinking about how I backed down that day cause a negro was like and just left with a peck on the cheek One of those situations where you think "I wish I was who I am now back then" cause I would blow the back out of her. Nowadays I dont give a fukk but back then it was easy to dog out the hoes but never could be ruthless to the chicks I was cool with.

She was one of the ones that got away but we're still cool. She's got like three kids now though and I ain't about that life....

 

[gangreen]

So I take this girl I have been seeing for like two week. .

Curly hair with that innocent look to her.

But she is not the type to give it up right away she told me this.

So one Saturday, I take her to buffalo wild wings. We share a plate of Mango Habanero wings since we both like it spicy.

We chalking it up, laughing the whole night and she is feeling me right.

We get to the car and I was driving her home but we get lost along the way and I stop the car to get the GPS going.

Then she starts to give me the look, biting her bottom lip, I go for the kill and start kissing her.

She kisses back, I insert my tongue in her mouth. she is receptive.

After about ten minutes of this, we drive back to her apartment with my hands on her thighs which eventually led to me rubbing her coooch through her leggings.

I park in front of her building, by that time we were hot and heavy into it. Tonguing, rubbing, gropping jerking with the Windows fogging up, by now my only worry was the police knocking on the window but I didn't care.

She then takes off her leggings and she is only in her panties now, I wanted to go upstairs (Don't need a public indecency charge on me) but I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I played along.

She then pushes my hand down to her p*ssy under neath the panties and I proceed to finger her. We were doing this like five minutes.

then she says



Her: ............ It is burning

Me: .. what is burning? ... *proceeding to work the magic with my fingers*

Her: It is burning *pointing to her cooch*

Me: *Thinking This chick got some STD*

Her: Stop!!! Did you wash her hands after we ate those wings

Me: I wiped them clean

Her: *sucks her teeth* I got to go upstairs. *puts on her leggings and boots and proceeds to run upstairs *




She didn't come back after like an hour, I call her, she didn't pick up. Don't remember her exact apartment number so I didn't go in looking for her. I then leave.

Tried to call her again she didn't pick up.

 

[BlakeSuperior]

Starts out for me as typical story of bad bytch that everyone from HS wanted. For me we had a class together and by the grace of god sat next to her and we actually talked a lot. She was mad flirty. Even was partners on a project once and met up after school to work on it. I was feelin myself because every nikka at school wanted to hit that

Fast forward to lunch one day.. One or two day a week a bunch of dudes would met up in the gym at lunch for a pickup game. We were playing and shorty walked in with a couple of her dime friends. I immediately turn on my playoff intensity and start demanding the ball everytime down and going crazy on D slapping the court and shyt I was growling at nikkas and yelling at people loud enough so she could here. I was basically on some heavy Kobe type shyt.


So the bell rings and we do last shot wins. I demand the ball, take a nikka one on one and pull up for a 3 at the top of the key which is a AIR BALL. They come down and dude goes on one with me. nikka broke my fukkin ankles. Crosses me up so bad I go stumbling back and fall and he nails a J. shyt looked exactly like Kyrie crossing up dude at the all star game. I walked outta the gym like without even looking in girls direction.
Turns out she was only there to check out my homie who she had a crush on. Only liked me as a friend. He dug her out plenty of times over the next year an I had to hear all about it.

Winner.

 

[iamstr8fire]

1. Wearing a tight shirt w/huge boobs
2. Came over on a friday late at night
3. Was a known mouthologist w/ good credentials
4. She was feeling you.
5. You didnt smash ,get dome or a handjob

I know :carver:

 

[NoMayo15]

I know :carver:

How you aint cheat on your girl at GT? You make it sound like there were no sexy girls in Atlanta

 

[iamstr8fire]

How you aint cheat on your girl at GT? You make it sound like there were no sexy girls in Atlanta

Consumed by school work and I had my best on. Always been a faithful dude regardless.

 

[Buggsy Mogues]

The worst two was from high school. One was me on some dumb young nikka shyt trying to show out by running up the steps three at a time (don't ask why) cause this female I was crushing on was right behind me. So I trip like a 1/4th of the way up the steps. I try to play it off and keep going. I fall all the way up the steps until the very top where I fall face first on the ground. Then my book bag that was on one shoulder came flying off and landed directly on the back of my head. The whole fukking hallway fell out laughing including my crush.

The other was this girl that flat came up and told me she thought I was cute as fukk. I had no game to holla back and she was cute her damn self. So she constantly had people coming up to me trying to get me to ask her out. So she found out I was in advanced calculus as a junior and some people she knew in the class told her how crazy smart I was. So she waits outside the class and tells me "oh you're in this class, you should tutor me cause I'm horrible in math. My response "what you gone pay me". She says "oh don't worry, i'll make it worth your time". My stupid ass tells her that ain't gone work for me, I need some exact figures. No wonder it took so damn long to lose my virginity.

 

[DeuceZ]

Act 1 - 1997
I was 13 at the time, this cutie in my hometown I was cool with are talking and she says "your zip is open" and proceeds to zip it up for me I'm like "u see anything u like" and she hits me with the and invites me to her place the next day. Next day I chicken out and play pool with my homies at a spot like 2 houses from her crib...I see her after that and she's like "u missed ur chance"

Act 2 - 2003
Freshman in college always used to see this PAWG with braces always smiling at me in the dining hall but i would jus awkwardly smile back n keep it moving. Anyway last day of semester im getting my pizza and whatever and I hear her friend behind me tell her "there he is this is your last chance" so she comes next to me and smiles and I wanted to say something so bad but jus smiled and walked away in shame

Act 3 - 2004
I knew this girl from Ghana with the nicest ass I ever seen was feeling the kid and she knew how to braid hair..so I holla at her and she's like she'll call me when she ready...it was a friday nite I think...she calls and i hit up her dorm around 11...she wearing bright red booty shorts jus looking so I'm sitting in between them thighs jus feeling and when she's done I knew i could have spent the nite but i was jus like "thanks for the hair" and dipped

Act 4 - 2004
I lived with a female and we were throwing a pajama party and this PAWG in my english literature class was mad cool so i turn around to her and her friend and invite them...her friend like ehhh but I could tell she was down but feeling iffy coz her friend didnt really want to go..so she's like let me think about it...class ends and she's not leaving class as fast as she usually does i can tell she wants me to ask again...im like see ya later and leave

Act 5 - 2005
Had a semester long PAID internship and had just turned 21 I was feeling this one Ivorian chick cute petite chocolate complexion one day i call her coz I wanted to borrow a DVD player she says "no i dont have one...is that all you want?" im like "ummm yeah" wanted to slap myself silly. Anyway day before internship over my roommate and I having a legedary house party (shyt was classic brehs)..after the party everyone coupled up this one chick makes breakfast at 5am and we just chilling then we say our goodbyes...10 minutes later knock on my door she comes in gives me a hug n saying "im gonna miss you" then says "why ur heart beating so fast?" i knew what i should have said/done but all i could muster was "how can you tell your head is on my right side" been in the friend zone since!


damn that was therapeutic

 

[newworldafro]

with these swagless stories...

 

[newworldafro]

cant think of any but im sure they exist. i guess i've repressed them

 

[newworldafro]

Ahh just thought of one from last summer. So I was on one last summer bagging chicks a couple chicks in public transportation. Bagged 3, out of maybe 6-8 I approached. Not bad

I was coming home from work one day and was standing up on the subway. I see this fine PAWG i workout attire staring at me like 2 meters away sitting down while I was leaned against the doors. It seemed like she was kinda gawking at me so in my head I was like, "man, if I dont bag this one I'm a p*ssy ass nikka. Let's get it." I was gonna wait til the person beside her or the person beside this other cute black girl with BIG (really big) titties and short hair got up so I could sit down and make my move.

Eventually the white girl seat freed up and I decided to holla. She was reading a magazine I think. So I sit down and say something like, "I noticed you were looking at me, what's up" (straight to it, i was kinda quiet though cause i didnt want the black chick/others to hear so I probably wasnt as arrogant as I wanted to be). Her reply? "Yea I was looking at the subway map *chuckle*" I looked up and saw the map right above where I was standing and caught the L. Just said, "oh ok, I was wondering."

20 Seconds later I was thinking i shoulda kept going. I coulda recovered and flipped it but I didnt think quickly enough on my feet. The window was closed

cotdamn.......

You misjudged that breh...

 

[newworldafro]

negged.

.............damn, these stories are hilarious.....cause its so real....

 

[BlvdBrawler]

Act 1 - 1997
I was 13 at the time, this cutie in my hometown I was cool with are talking and she says "your zip is open" and proceeds to zip it up for me I'm like "u see anything u like" and she hits me with the and invites me to her place the next day. Next day I chicken out and play pool with my homies at a spot like 2 houses from her crib...I see her after that and she's like "u missed ur chance"

Act 2 - 2003
Freshman in college always used to see this PAWG with braces always smiling at me in the dining hall but i would jus awkwardly smile back n keep it moving. Anyway last day of semester im getting my pizza and whatever and I hear her friend behind me tell her "there he is this is your last chance" so she comes next to me and smiles and I wanted to say something so bad but jus smiled and walked away in shame

Act 3 - 2004
I knew this girl from Ghana with the nicest ass I ever seen was feeling the kid and she knew how to braid hair..so I holla at her and she's like she'll call me when she ready...it was a friday nite I think...she calls and i hit up her dorm around 11...she wearing bright red booty shorts jus looking so I'm sitting in between them thighs jus feeling and when she's done I knew i could have spent the nite but i was jus like "thanks for the hair" and dipped

Act 4 - 2004
I lived with a female and we were throwing a pajama party and this PAWG in my english literature class was mad cool so i turn around to her and her friend and invite them...her friend like ehhh but I could tell she was down but feeling iffy coz her friend didnt really want to go..so she's like let me think about it...class ends and she's not leaving class as fast as she usually does i can tell she wants me to ask again...im like see ya later and leave

Act 5 - 2005
Had a semester long PAID internship and had just turned 21 I was feeling this one Ivorian chick cute petite chocolate complexion one day i call her coz I wanted to borrow a DVD player she says "no i dont have one...is that all you want?" im like "ummm yeah" wanted to slap myself silly. Anyway day before internship over my roommate and I having a legedary house party (shyt was classic brehs)..after the party everyone coupled up this one chick makes breakfast at 5am and we just chilling then we say our goodbyes...10 minutes later knock on my door she comes in gives me a hug n saying "im gonna miss you" then says "why ur heart beating so fast?" i knew what i should have said/done but all i could muster was "how can you tell your head is on my right side" been in the friend zone since!


damn that was therapeutic

nikka did you get any p*ssy in college?