They have kids together and he still loves her so I think he’s willing to move pass the past to move forward and restore their family. If I told my son’s father or my last ex that I wanted to make it work, I know they would scramble to get back with me regardless of me being in a relationship right now, fukking other dudes, being a straight up bytch to them in the past etc. I also know that there’s not much I could do to make them not want me atp because that’s what they’ve proven by not getting over me and continuing to make it clear that they want me back.You know her better than anyone on here. But from reading this thread and your responses, this is a clear sign of a toxic relationship. Some people are toxic with certain others and act better when they are with someone else. Why you keep trying to work out something where the area is toxic? If you had a toxic job that gave you a out, would you take it and move on unless you felt that you couldn't get another job? You both stay connected because both of you feel that no one else will want you in my opinion. Start believing that there is something better for you and just be a great co-parent with her. Nothing else .
The problem is it’s almost human nature that when you know you can get away with stuff because they’ll always want you can sometimes lead you to not take that person as seriously or respect the relationship. that’s why I told him to be cautious.
But who knows, her moving a man in after they broke up, and whatever happened over those 4 months might have been the reality check she needed to realize that maybe things weren’t that bad w/op.
Whatever the case, she wants him back and he wants her back regardless of the past, so she’s on her best behavior (only time will tell if it’s temporary just to get him back or if it’s her modifying her behavior to be a different kind of partner this time around ).
From what he’s shared, some of her grievances with him were warranted, so perhaps with both of them willing to put in the work now, communicate more and such, they can have a healthier relationship moving forward.
I think op just needs to be cautious and be willing to leave this time around if he notices them falling into old patterns (which is common when you get back with an ex). Otherwise—he’s going to do what he wants and he’s right that none of us know her better than him. I wish him well.