Sounds like you work with some crabs and fakkits. That said you always gonna deal with BS at work, even more if you arent remote.
Successful Black Men on Thecoli, Do Ya'll Ever Get to The Point Where You Don't Have to Deal with the BS?
- Thread starter ba'al
- Start date
Yep. Life been like that for a minute. It’s gloriousWho's the targeted audience for this thread.
So, this thread is addressed to all of my successful brehs on here. And by successful, I mean brothas on here who are living the life they mapped out for themselves not a life that got handed to them. Dudes who had to hustle, grind, overcome adversity after adversity. Guys who didn't let their circumstances shape their life. Whether that's having your dream career, business, lifestyle, woman or all of the above. Furthermore, it's an added bonus if you're a brotha and was able to avoid the baby momma drama, child support traps, alimony payments and incarceration.
A Little About Myself and The Thread Topic Question.
I'm in my mid-twenties so I guess I'm considered a "Zillennial" a cross between Gen-Z and Millennial. But to the older cats on here I just want to know does this shyt ever end? Do you ever get to the point where you can just relax and not have to deal with c00ns, thots, bedwenches/BMATs, mommas boys, the white man, gossipers, racism and discrimination, etc?
Backstory on what Inspired the thread.
I just got a new job and since I been grinding, I'm blowing pass all my coworkers and received a promotion, I have more IT certs then some of the supervisors. And the managers in my departments are hinting at me getting a leadership role. That's great but you know with success comes haters so my coworkers in my last department mainly two single moms were lowkey hating, especially the day after our busiest day were my manager's manger was contacted and was informed about my performance. I think one was hating because she wanted to be further along in her career but had to put school off because she got pregnant by some bum dude. They told me I was working too hard. And that they were going to get cut if I didn't slow down. I've been hearing "I'm working too hard" since I was in primary school getting straight A's and being put into gifted programs. But now fast forward to this new role I'm in and it's a pot belly, red hair, hairy, balding cac already hating. I'm like bruh, again with this crap?
My first day on the job and this insecure walking bean bag chair talking about
"Yeah, you have all those certs but that doesn't mean anything in IT."
"You don't talk much, makes me feel like you're hiding something."
"Oh, Chinese food is your favorite food you ever eat hot sauce with that?"
"Those are big muscles I see you like to work out."
If I could thanos snap all the cacs, c00ns, thots, racism, and discrimination out of the world I would do so honestly.
I would also encourage mentorship in the field/union/association that you're apart of outside of your dedicated job role.. therapy did WONDERS for me as well and helped me face and conquer some deep psychological wounds that made me weaponize my achievements (as a defense mechanism) to confront past moments of loss, disconnection, lack of love, sadness and humiliation. One of the toughest journeys I've ever went through.. grateful for it today, though..
Damn. You gotta be able to code switch though on the job.
I actually remember you before I stopped posting on here for a bit. I think you had a son or daughter and made a thread about it. And you probably was an amazing young man if I remind you of yourself.
I get that on a spiritual level. In the scriptures one of the fruits of the spirits is longsuffering and these nikkas are insufferable.
I got a few mentors in real life. And they say the same shyt about not fighting your own battles and letting God handle your light work. My former IT instructor was in the field and he was a brotha and said the main reason he left and decided to teach was that he was tired of the rat race and office politics. When Barack was president dude was telling me he had some racist white woman giving him hell. He also was in a leadership position and he said a lot of the whites boys under him would say slick shyt. Also he has a wife and kids so he's able to spend more time with them.
White collar jobs in a nutshell feels like.
OP I will say this..the higher you go, you do get an increase of the bullshyt...the only thing is to make sure you keep your specific goals in mind and let no one tell you different or make you stray from your path
"I actually remember you before I stopped posting on here for a bit. I think you had a son or daughter and made a thread about it. And you probably was an amazing young man if I remind you of yourself." -
You're probably right. I don't get into all the debauchery on here, but I always like to add some perspective when it comes to the babies, marriage and professional life as a young black man. good memory!
"I get that on a spiritual level. In the scriptures one of the fruits of the spirits is longsuffering and these nikkas are insufferable." - absolutely. In this world you will FACE trouble.. there will be persecution.. you will be mishandled.. these things are sure to happen. I try to conjure up that 'longsuffering' spirit as much as I possibly can to be able to ENDURE and persevere, through the "BS", so that my character and my light ain tainted by bitterness and cynicism. Those that have truly lost hope in themselves, their lives hell even humanity itself is by FAR the most pitiful amongst us all.
JetFueledThoughts
Superstar
So it's really lonely at the top, huh? So what keeps you personally motivated if you know it's just going to be more shyt the higher you go up?
" And they say the same shyt about not fighting your own battles and letting God handle your light work. " - mehh.. sounds like they're just trying to 'wave' you off tbh.. Positive thinking and having 'faith' maybe helpful, but if it's not molded into a call to action to actually be of USE then those are just empty words.. especially when these mentors don't give any context as to what 'not fighting your own battles' look like in a PRACTICAL sense as it applies to your current circumstance/situation.
Me being unhappy in my professional life and my career despite the success of corporate america stemmed from me not REALLY knowing who I was and what I wanted for myself in that season of my life. Then I realized that the value that I placed in myself was based on everything that I was accomplishing and not functioning in my purpose. A perspective change did wonders..How do you know that you're aligned? Are you just laying bricks or do you see the castle that you're building? do you have any gifts.. things that are innate to YOU. the things about you that no one else can do like you.. once you start figuring that out, you'll see that all your perceived success is simply a springboard to catapult you into what you're REALLY supposed to be doing.
ReggieFlare
Superstar
I’m a few years your senior, in my early 30s. Unless you’re completely independent financially or own a business where you don’t have to interact with anyone you don’t want to, yes, the BS never truly goes away.
What happened for me is I got better at putting those blinders on and ignoring the stuff that doesn’t breed more success or put me in a better position. Don’t take anything personally and keep negative thoughts and people at arms length, they serve no purpose other than to derail you.
At the end of the day the world in its current state is not favorable for black men; your best bet is understanding and accepting the pitfalls that come with that. Otherwise you’ll never have peace of mind as there are so many reasons to be down when you come to terms with the reality of it all…without that peace of mind you’ll eventually succumb to the pressure and put a cap on how far you can go.
What happened for me is I got better at putting those blinders on and ignoring the stuff that doesn’t breed more success or put me in a better position. Don’t take anything personally and keep negative thoughts and people at arms length, they serve no purpose other than to derail you.
At the end of the day the world in its current state is not favorable for black men; your best bet is understanding and accepting the pitfalls that come with that. Otherwise you’ll never have peace of mind as there are so many reasons to be down when you come to terms with the reality of it all…without that peace of mind you’ll eventually succumb to the pressure and put a cap on how far you can go.
The Observer
All Star
Financial freedom is the key to not having to deal with a lot of what you mentioned OP
Raphaello
All Star
The easiest way to flip a hater is to ask them for advice. DON'T make them a mentor though, they'll sabotage you in the long run. Just a few tips every now and then. Everyone wants to feel like they're putting someone on.
The ladder of success itself is the VEHICLE.. the peak of the mountain isnt' the end goal.. Once you're at the top.. you have the salary, you have the luxuries, every need and desire is met.. now what? Did you know the sinking depression only hits after these overachievers reach the top of their MT. Everest and realize that not only is it lonely, but it STILL doesn't heal the gnawing, growing hole in the pit of their stomach telling them that 'none of this even matters' and 'what am I really here for' and my favorite 'why am I still not satisfied' ?
