Successful Black Men on Thecoli, Do Ya'll Ever Get to The Point Where You Don't Have to Deal with the BS?

[Manolo]

What was your biggest takeaway from the 50th law book?

The importance of facing your fears head on. This is a quote from the book:

“The 50th Law, however, states that there is one thing we can actually control—the mind-set with which we respond to these events around us. And if we are able to overcome our anxieties and forge a fearless attitude towards life, something strange and remarkable can occur—that margin of control over circumstance increases.”

 

[ViShawn]

I experience migro aggressions or being "othered" (as eloquently stated by one of my "woke" Asian friend) in certain spaces, but overall if I am in those said spaces people know I got there on my own merit. I've been insulated from the bullshyt because I work remotely for one. Also I am at a high level of my career and my credentials and success speak for themselves.

No matter what level you ascend to though you'll still deal with some degree of bullshyt. To others though you will be seen as a testament and a symbol that they can make it too which makes me keep going and pushing myself.

 

[patscorpio]

So it's really lonely at the top, huh? So what keeps you personally motivated if you know it's just going to be more shyt the higher you go up?

Change, Money, not letting anyone veer me off my path, and be able to drop knowledge to younger folks...i got 19 plus years in the corporate world

 

[ViShawn]

OP I'm reading a book on this topic actually. You may like it.

 

[chiefdogg]

One thing I learned homie who has been working in IT 20+ years is that the white geeks still look at you as a Negra no matter how many Certs you have. Oh and they gonna stay on code.

 

[Piff Perkins]

For the most part yes. Sure there are things that never change...for instance you're never gonna see me walking into a convenience store 9PM or later since I don't want to deal with the stares/sense that white people are on guard. But as someone making six figures, single, no children, early 30s I'd say right now...

-I have a gf now but when I was single I had zero interaction with single mothers or other women that I'm ideologically opposed to. Some dudes complain about how hard it is to approach women in real life but for me, ignoring women in regular life has worked wonders. I'm not looking, I'm not flirting, I'm completely detached and that alone keeps the undesirables out of my eyesight. I focused entirely on online dating where you can pick exactly who/what you want. Ironically my current and most recent former gf both approached me in person and that's how things sparked off.

-Work isn't bad. There are older white people who are bleh, but for the most part I got no issues. The younger people I work with, from the folks I manage to our interns, are not a problem at all.

-I don't deal with c00ns. I'm sure I've met some but at work you're not gonna hear wild statements that might get you fired.
-

 

[The Half-Blood FKA Prince]

Nah breh i hate to have to tell ya that the bullshyt will very likely never end. Least of all in murikkka.

U can take steps to insulate yaself against and minimize the bullshyt however.

Keep to yaself, dont brag or boast of ur accomplishments, and be very careful what u say and who u say it to when u do have to mix with them.
It usually starts when they feel threatened, so if there is no perceived threat, it really cuts down on the bullshyt.

Congrats on the promotion though breh. Love to see brehs making moves out here

 

[Womb Raider]

Damn, I needed this thread and didn’t even know it…lots of positive advice for black men in here too.

well done, coli.

 

[tuckgod]

Yes I been sucka free for a good minute.

 

[ba'al]

Change, Money, not letting anyone veer me off my path, and be able to drop knowledge to younger folks...i got 19 plus years in the corporate world

Thanks for the comment. 19 years that's very motivating.

Damn, I needed this thread and didn’t even know it…lots of positive advice for black men in here too.

well done, coli.

Yeah, brehs came dropping gems.

OP I'm reading a book on this topic actually. You may like it.

I can't see the book because of plugins I'm running but I can see the ISBN which showed this book after a google search.

 

[Amo Husserl]

You ain't got to deal with nothing you don't want to. Because black people don't make career alternatives for the group for not working together, they settle for what other people have for them. Other groups see this and use it to their advantage.

It's not about age, but self-respect.
I left a good job with good promotion because I don't tolerate racism on the job. I make my case to HR, if nothing happens I get another job.

You got IT certifications, look to starting your own business or hire yourself out as an independent contractor. Go back to school and get some business knowledge and work with likeminded people. Or keep gritting your teeth up the promotional ladder, get the experience and leave to start your own business. Start your own business on the side now and do what it takes to make yourself successful.

 

[ba'al]

You ain't got to deal with nothing you don't want to. Because black people don't make career alternatives for the group for not working together, they settle for what other people have for them. Other groups see this and use it to their advantage to.

It's not about age, but self-respect.
I left a good job with good promotion because I don't tolerate racism on the job. I make my case to HR, if nothing happens I get another job.

You got IT certifications, look to starting your own business or hire yourself out as an independent contractor. Go back to school and get some business knowledge and work with likeminded people. Or keep gritting your teeth up the promotional ladder, get the experience and leave to start your own business. Start your own business on the side now and do what it takes to make yourself successful.

Man, I would love to eventually have my own business brotha. You set all the rules, hire who you would like to work with, determine your own hours, determine the direction the company will move towards. And yeah, job hopping is common in the IT world, especially if you learn something new and find a position that's willing to pay more.

Somebody tell the DJ to cue up Money Man's song "Boss Up".

 

[Amo Husserl]

Man, I would love to eventually have my own business brotha. You set all the rules, hire who you would like to work with, determine your own hours, determine the direction the company will move towards. And yeah, job hopping is common in the IT world, especially if you learn something new and find a position that's willing to pay more.

Somebody tell the DJ to queue up Money Man's song "Boss Up".

Do that.
I don't work IT, if you got those opportunities use them.
Think about retirement alternatives to 401K.
Get your own business poppin', you got to do more work to have more knowledge at your disposal, however the payoff is unbeaten.

 

[NegaDuck]

I will always have to deal with racism and discrimination but even then I don't let it get to me. I pretty much ignore everything else because its a distraction and by doing that I keep my peace.

So yes imo it ends when you focus on yourself and your goals. Don't let any one person or thing control your emotions.

This. A lot of us as black people focus on how the system is rigged against us (it is), and the people that don't like them or want to se them fail.

Fukk that.

Me personally focused on the things I wanted and the people who want to see me win. The other shyt I don't pay mind to.

My life is great.

 

[ViShawn]

OP do you have peers you talk to regarding these experiences? I have a group of Black men that I formed over time that's good to shoot the shyt with, vent, listen, and give each other advice.

I think men try to lone wolf it too much but we need other men to help us along the way.

Also as Black men it's crucial because we have very few allies in the world.