Mannnnnn i could vent here for days. Wish i could have my phone on me at work so i could remember all the emotions im going through and post.
My patience has worn so fukkin thin and im feeling demoralized. Even though its been a great year (relatively). I made a huge step just last month but I haven't reaped the benefits of that achievement yet so its like it never happened.
Im sick and tired of living with my family, really just living with other people period. Im aching to be on my own again. However it doesn't make feasible sense to make that step until after I get in a better position to live on my own.
Got a new job...but its still bullshyt that I ultimately dont want to do/isnt what I willl be doing a year from now (hopefully).
Im lonely yet misanthropic right now. Im in a p*ssy drought. My friends are the worst wingmen ever and have never put me on any hoes. Im missing the hell out of the only girl ive had feelings for in awhile (and that ship sailed long afaik)
I could hit up dating sites and shyt. But im just not feeling trying to get to know anybody. It all feels pointless and ultimately futile. Especially since ive no true independence at the moment.
Theres a NYE weekend party that im really fighting myself on going or not. Part of me is just exhausted and the other part of me knows that I need to take more initiative in putting myself out there.
And lastly, theres the eternal money struggle

. Id like to purchase a new car AND move out on own if my window for my job training is extended out longer....However I wont be able to afford to do BOTH unless the stars align in my favor...
Just not feeling it brehs. In a rut.