Essential The Mental Health Thread

[Monsanto]

damn this thread hurts my soul..

wish more nikkas would talk in here.

and just sticky this thread.. forum posters in general are some of the most introverted depressed people out there- especially black people

I would hope that the silence in the thread means people are handling their business and getting some help offline.

That's what worked for me. Revealing the issues that are dragging on your mind and taxing your body physically and spiritually is hard as hell. Before this year I would never have done such things.

But there comes a point when holding on to all of that slows you down and it's not manageable by yourself.

I truly hope the brehs in here can find help for their grievances or at least someone to talk to.

Talking to someone has turned my life and outlook around. And while I'm still on a journey to find my future self I'm walking one foot at a time thanks to my initial reaching out for help.

Good luck brothers.

 

[So UnThotful]

I suffer from depression

I feel off and depressed for no reason. Maybe writing this can take some of the feeling off
Bless you brehs, happy new year

 

[Dreamzeedream]

I'm start by Removing people/things that mean me no good. Be careful with the people you choose to have in your life

 

[Calmye]

Worst time of the year

 

[Jim Cornette]

I suffer from depression

I feel off and depressed for no reason. Maybe writing this can take some of the feeling off
Bless you brehs, happy new year

we all feel the same bro..
it's always a tough time, a lot of spare time for those negative thoughts to creep in and cause chaos.

try keep busy and let it out in this thread if need be..

"It ain't chess but they put him in, checked then
If you know the math on the wrath, he is less than
From the south side, but I hustle on the west end
Pain and that stress gon' kill you if it's kept in Ghost, nikka"

 

[Virtuous_Brotha]

I'm starting to really think i have a mild case of Asperger syndrome brehs this is deeper than being shy or having social anxiety because I've failed to sustain friendships majority of my life. I'm probably the most boring person on earth but i honestly can't help it. My confidence isn't helped by the one non platonic relationship i had with a female ended with her leeching money off me.

On my quest to make improvements to my socially stunted development I went out last night to a new years eve meetup in an attempt to not spend another one indoors.

To those that don't know the meetup app/website you're essentially meeting up with people you have never met at a specified venue.

The night was incredibly awkward I honestly could not hold a convo with any of the people there too save my life even though most i did small talk with were cool.

Was speaking to two brehs at one point we were chilling then they nonchalantly walked away from me while we were standing in the bar observing, the dynamic obviously switched to being just the two of them chopping it up. One dude said lets go to the store and they both went without even telling me to tag along.

The female to male ratio was pretty bad and needless to say little opportunity to approach many women.

Some of this is my fault but i can't connect with anybody to save my life damn near feel like giving up and committing to being a full time loaner all my social media accounts are dead and nobody would notice if i delete them all.
Gonna be 26 in a matter of months and through out my life i haven't really received any well wishes for new years or my birthday so clearly not a damn soul apart from my (very small) fam will be touched if i was too clock out right now

 

[ROFL_GUY]

@Nicole0416 needs this thread. This person clearly has some kind of obesity induced psychosis

 

[Micky Mikey]

I'm starting to really think i have a mild case of Asperger syndrome brehs this is deeper than being shy or having social anxiety because I've failed to sustain friendships majority of my life. I'm probably the most boring person on earth but i honestly can't help it. My confidence isn't helped by the one non platonic relationship i had with a female ended with her leeching money off me.

On my quest to make improvements to my socially stunted development I went out last night to a new years eve meetup in an attempt to not spend another one indoors.

To those that don't know the meetup app/website you're essentially meeting up with people you have never met at a specified venue.

The night was incredibly awkward I honestly could not hold a convo with any of the people there too save my life even though most i did small talk with were cool.

Was speaking to two brehs at one point we were chilling then they nonchalantly walked away from me while we were standing in the bar observing, the dynamic obviously switched to being just the two of them chopping it up. One dude said lets go to the store and they both went without even telling me to tag along.

The female to male ratio was pretty bad and needless to say little opportunity to approach many women.

Some of this is my fault but i can't connect with anybody to save my life damn near feel like giving up and committing to being a full time loaner all my social media accounts are dead and nobody would notice if i delete them all.
Gonna be 26 in a matter of months and through out my life i haven't really received any well wishes for new years or my birthday so clearly not a damn soul apart from my (very small) fam will be touched if i was too clock out right now

This sounds a lot like me. Are you accepting of yourself? Do you feel you are inadequate when engaging other people? How confident are you when communicating with others?

 

[Sane]

I'm starting to really think i have a mild case of Asperger syndrome brehs this is deeper than being shy or having social anxiety because I've failed to sustain friendships majority of my life. I'm probably the most boring person on earth but i honestly can't help it. My confidence isn't helped by the one non platonic relationship i had with a female ended with her leeching money off me.

On my quest to make improvements to my socially stunted development I went out last night to a new years eve meetup in an attempt to not spend another one indoors.

To those that don't know the meetup app/website you're essentially meeting up with people you have never met at a specified venue.

The night was incredibly awkward I honestly could not hold a convo with any of the people there too save my life even though most i did small talk with were cool.

Was speaking to two brehs at one point we were chilling then they nonchalantly walked away from me while we were standing in the bar observing, the dynamic obviously switched to being just the two of them chopping it up. One dude said lets go to the store and they both went without even telling me to tag along.

The female to male ratio was pretty bad and needless to say little opportunity to approach many women.

Some of this is my fault but i can't connect with anybody to save my life damn near feel like giving up and committing to being a full time loaner all my social media accounts are dead and nobody would notice if i delete them all.
Gonna be 26 in a matter of months and through out my life i haven't really received any well wishes for new years or my birthday so clearly not a damn soul apart from my (very small) fam will be touched if i was too clock out right now

Why didn't you go with them to the store?

 

[Virtuous_Brotha]

This sounds a lot like me. Are you accepting of yourself? Do you feel you are inadequate when engaging other people? How confident are you when communicating with others?

My confidence has improved a great deal I believe i'm a great person but I struggle immensely to socialise this is no life for a breh in his twenties. I'm wasting my youth away spending my weekends on the internet because i have nobody to call up hang out with like that. I haven't had a consistent circle of associates or friends since i was 15/16 (decade ago).

 

[Virtuous_Brotha]

Why didn't you go with them to the store?

In cases where there is like three people in a group, the dynamic will eventually change to the other two stuck in conversation and forgetting i'm even there and walking off. As i said i know this is my fault gotta work on this issue of being shadowed out when i'm in a position to socialise but i struggle making useful contributions to discussions due to my lack of life experience

 

[Micky Mikey]

My confidence has improved a great deal I believe i'm a great person but I struggle immensely to socialise this is no life for a breh in his twenties. I'm wasting my youth away spending my weekends on the internet because i have nobody to call up hang out with like that. I haven't had a consistent circle of associates or friends since i was 15/16 (decade ago).

I think you're doing the right thing by being proactive and getting yourself out there. What was the theme of the meetup? I've thought about doing this.
You're still pretty young and you can make friends at any age. However, based on my experience it gets harder and harder as you age. I am in my 30s and most people are stuck in their ways and really arent open to making new friends. I have just been learning to be content within myself.

 

[Coolin']

Admittedly i'm a boring azz person i just dont feel i could add value to anyones life. At 25 most people around my age already have their own steady group of friends already so there's pretty much zero incentive for anybody to add me to their circle unless they have no social life themselves. Even if i make friends the challenge to maintain the bond would be difficult as fuk

Nothing but facts here. I get that people want to offer advise and try to help but the truth is, it’s hard making friends when you don’t really have friends. You’re viewed as “weird” which isn’t a title one wants to have when trying to cultivate friendships or relationships. Also, not having many life experiences just makes it more difficult.

If you don’t mind me asking, have you always found it hard to make friends or is it something that started recently?

 

[Virtuous_Brotha]

Nothing but facts here. I get that people want to offer advise and try to help but the truth is, it’s hard making friends when you don’t really have friends. You’re viewed as “weird” which isn’t a title one wants to have when trying to cultivate friendships or relationships. Also, not having many life experiences just makes it more difficult.

If you don’t mind me asking, have you always found it hard to make friends or is it something that started recently?

I've always been very shy dating back to elementary school but i didn't struggle with making friends because at that age other kids will just talk to you and with your mom picking you up from school, the other parents she talks to every day kind of sets you up to make friends with the other kids.

Its only when you're about 12 does social skills require building and the effort really needs to put in. But my azz never realised this until it was too late and I was spending recess eating lunch by myself for two years until i finally made one genuine friend.

Here i am at 25 completely done with education and only in touch with two people from the numerous establishments i attended. I am devastatingly lost in what to do I've even put ads up on gumtree advertising my friendship as pathetic as it sounds.

 

[NeilCartwright]

Ran into some legal issues, going to end up losing my job (not sure when ill have to leave), and now im shopping around trying to lawyer up and make sure it doesn't show up on my background check. But i have to do some paperwork with the military doctor and they basically try to see if i have substance abuse problems or any other issues.

At first im guarded as usual but she calls me out on it. Since my days are numbered i say fck it and air it out. How the department i was in is fcked up, and two guys over the training and certification were fcking people over. Me in particular.

She legitimately goeslike this could never happen in 2019. I go on about how i didnt want to pull the race card (and other brehs in the organization advised me to do the same) and she asks why. She says i should put together a timeline in a package to give to the Commanding Officer to let him know.

Then she tells me i should see a counselor,(i reached out to some in undergrad but didnt tell her) bc even though i put on a front like im calm/optimistic/etc she can see through it, and deep down im angry .I mention how, AA's in particular, need to be that way (or play "the game") and again she goeslike im speaking spanish. Mentioned that Double consciousness coined by W. E. B. Du Bois and she goes "That sounds exactly like bi-polar disorder. I never knew AA's were doing this"

Shyt is stupid. Then she goes maybe the stress from work caused you to be in this situation. I told her life is stressful, and especially as a black man you just gotta deal with it.To make it worse, we all going through it so if you show weakness you got ppl telling you "why cry/complaing about something you cant change?" Its so much shyt to navigate through to not end up in the system and be a statistic or to achieve w/e you tryna do but you just deal with it. Told her i dont open up to alot of people bc they either cant understand where you coming from or dont give a damn. I told her i been dealing with issues on my own for 24 years and made it this far. (We all even have so-called friends who fall into this category) And this conversation with the Doc confirmed it. Woman gotta be in her 50's and was legitimately surprised at the life experiences of someone else, who didnt look like her.

Shyt is stupid. I was watching that R Kelly documentary, shyt aint right but he needs help. I used to have real bad anger issues but found positive outlets. 24 years on the straight and narrow now im caught up in the system. Black people put up with so much bullshyt its not funny. I honestly believe we the strongest people mentally, but how much can a brother take?

I pray for all yall, we need it