Let's say you had Shady Records backing you with a big budget, and you were tasked with putting together an event with 5 battles on the card and 1 Quiet Room battle for bonus footage, and you could only pick from non-battlerappers who are still alive....
What would your card for the event look like?
Mine:
Jungle vs. Freaky Zeke
Type of battle: Battle of The Goons.
Highlights: inarticulate, lots of choking, no one has a coin to flip, brawl breaks out.
Battle Rap Comparison: Shotgun Suge vs. Hanz
Prediction: Zeke 2-0 before brawl ends battle.
Drake vs. Father M.C.
Type of battle: Battle of Soft nikkas
Highlights: Shocking number of lines about what each will do to the other's girl, Drake giving more hugs for his opponent's punches than Danny Myers, Father M.C. shows up sporting a tacky leather vest and jean jacket that Conceited later asks to borrow.
Prediction: Drake 3-0, clear body bag. Father M.C. Gets booed mercilessly when he recycles I don't know, that's the way that I am/introduce me to your mother and I say hello ma'am.
Battle Rap Comparison: Prime Conceited vs. Current Conceited
Wyclef vs. Killa Cam
Type of Battle: Roasting Session
Highlights: This one is for a little levity for the audience. Killa changes outfits 3 times during one round, shows a montage of embarrassing Clef photos on the summer jam screen, Clef breaks out the acoustic guitar for his 2nd round.
Prediction: Cam 2-1, only because he spends the entire 3rd round smoking a joint on stage in a cape, talking to the crowd.
Battle Rap Comparison: Dead Man vs. Hollow Da Don
Wayne vs. Gillie Da Kid
Type of Battle: Grudge Match
Highlights: Gillie's stage presence, he has several iconic "Smack... Who is this nikka?" moments. Wayne takes the second round with an old verse Gillie wrote, but he has to freestyle his 3rd and ends up rapping about how he's a Martian and has more reaches than Tsu Surf and Goodz combined.
Prediction: 2-1 Gillie
Battle Rap Comparison: O Solo/TODD vs. Qleen
Sean Price vs. Beanie Sigel
Type of Battle: Main Event
Highlights: Grown man bar-fest, tense moments, a controversial firm handshake, P comes with the best rebuttals and slogan of the night, Beans has a legendary 3rd where he breaks down P's career and calls out Jay-Z, P does a Chilla type Rocafella records scheme that gets 3 Don Demarcos in a row.
Prediction: 2-1 either way debatable
Battle Rap Comparison: Math Hoffa/Young X vs. Head Ice/Verb
BONUS FOOTAGE:
Quiet Room Battle - Rakim vs. Big Daddy Kane
Type of Battle: Throwback
Highlights: Slick lines, a lot of mutual respect
Prediction: Nostalgia 3-0
Battle Rap Comparison: Jae Millz vs. Serius Jones