Washington Post: Hookup Culture Isn’t The Real Problem Facing Singles Today. It’s Math.

[Mr Hate Coffee]

I buy that there are less eligible bachelors to go around and that makes it difficult for women. What I don't buy is that it works out great for men. For the most part, the truly eligible bachelors who have it all, the looks, the personality, and the money do very well. The other men, probably not so much. And this remains true even as they age unlike the dreams many here sell.

I mean, there is a reason so many men here are bitter and jaded towards women. There is a reason things like 'red pill' exist now and didn't before. And its not just because these guys are young and haven't made it to golden age of 30 where magically women fall over themselves to get with them lol

I agree. But the good thing is that men are conditioned to not getting the woman they like and having to step their game up. We've all been rejected by our dream girl in 4th grade and had to get our status up. So basically a man knows that if he puts the work in to improve on the areas he can control he's well positioned to succeed with ladies later.

There's a whole industry around this. Dudes make money consulting other guys on how to step up their fashion, how to be more confident, and other things to get women. Where is the female equivalent of this? Women do themselves a disservice because they're not built for making changes to attract the opposite sex. I see shyt like attractive 35 year old, good women, who refuse to go up and talk to a guy all because that's not how it's supposed to be.

Speaking for myself (as a reference point), there's literally no girl that rejected me in high school that I couldn't easily holla at right now. But this doesn't make me feel better than them, it's just proof positive that my hard work paid off.

Now the ugly, anti-social, pimple faced dudes who live with their mom are gonna have a bad time regardless. These guys and those red pill idiots need to look inward and make changes.

 

[Action Mike]

Who says so, since your interaction is limited. I know within my circle that isn't the case at all. We are not a bunch of dimes but we are average young women. I am willing to bet there are many out there although, the pressure of easy sex are real among women and men.

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

im 41....almost 2o yrs older than some of yall in here....married....2 kids....divorced....remarried....

my advice to the men in here: stay single until your mid 30s...concentrate on your career....women will come....DO NOT waste your college years and your first few post college years (when you finally start making money) tied down to a woman. live. travel. experience life.

my advice to the ladies: ...its tight on yall....men dont care about your degrees or your career. all we care about is if we can get along with you....vertically and horizontally....any man worth a damn makes his own money....we dont need yours. ....go to school....work at your career...but dont overlook cooking....being agreeable...and staying in shape...thats a huge deal to us....

too many of the women in my age group have just given up on being in shape (and some of the men have too tbh).....

 

[PartyHeart]

That's on them, but I know a lot who love it.

And you aren't getting what I'm trying to convey. In the beginning of pursuing a woman, this era is a golden age for men. I don't care about the age thing, idk why you keep bringing that up. Because we yield more power now, we can pursue different types of women. It doesn't mean that we will stay with these women, there are too many variables when you start going into that.

Men never had this ability to go through different classes of women, like we do now. I'm older, and seen the change. It wasn't that bad in the 90's, but it wasn't this easy either. Back then you had to do way more to attract an educated, higher income female if you didn't run in those circles like college or career. Now more women are out looking in the big cities, and all that degree talk isn't special anymore, so they do more sexual favors to get your attention. After that initial meeting in the first month or two, then the game changes, but this article is dealing with getting your foot in the door, and using the lower you have once inside. That's how I took it

That's why they gave the example of women on the west coast being married more, and having low divorce rates compared to the big East coast cities. The west coast women yielded more power, and therefore demanded more. In those cases the man has to do what the women want to get in, and stay in the relationship, because she has power in the courting, and during the marriage due to no fault divorces. But, because these men are worth so much money, and they tend to lack the ability to keep getting high end women, they see it as an asset to have one woman whom they can trust, have access to in-house p*ssy, and have a family with, so they marry, and stay married. If you are a man with nice looks, average income, but knows how to make use of it, and have some character about you, the west coast is hell because you have to do so much more to compete with the urkels out there. For us, the east coast is a gourmet buffet

No I get what you're saying, we just disagree. I think men had more power then because today women do not have to marry any ole guy just for basic survival. Therefore, back then, a bigger range of types of men could have an equal chance at getting a woman. Now, a woman can go out and earn her own living. So her criteria includes earnings plus more that she might not have factored in 60 years ago when she had limited choices for sustaining herself until she met someone.

I would say that men don't have the ability to go through different classes of women now. If you're referring to opportunity/exposure, I guess so yeah. But even with that opportunity and exposure the vast majority of men are not going to be successful because women's criteria have heightened. The ones that are actually successful, are few. Look at what you keep saying. "If a man has this amount of money, nice looks, good character". You are proving my point. These are criteria that most men will not be able to meet all at once, and therein lies the problem for both men and women. Men don't have it so they don't get attention, women don't have as many men to choose from because they don't have it. Do you understand?

Thats why I say that men and women are bound by the same thing. Even in the situation where men spend time building up these characteristics, that works for women because that is increasing the pool of eligible bachelors, which is what they want. Men and women will always have this push and pull because we're dating and marrying each other.

 

[PartyHeart]

I agree. But the good thing is that men are conditioned to not getting the woman they like and having to step their game up. We've all been rejected by our dream girl in 4th grade and had to get our status up. So basically a man knows that if he puts the work in to improve on the areas he can control he's well positioned to succeed with ladies later.

There's a whole industry around this. Dudes make money consulting other guys on how to step up their fashion, how to be more confident, and other things to get women. Where is the female equivalent of this? Women do themselves a disservice because they're not built for making changes to attract the opposite sex. I see shyt like attractive 35 year old, good women, who refuse to go up and talk to a guy all because that's not how it's supposed to be.

Speaking for myself (as a reference point), there's literally no girl that rejected me in high school that I couldn't easily holla at right now. But this doesn't make me feel better than them, it's just proof positive that my hard work paid off.

Now the ugly, anti-social, pimple faced dudes who live with their mom are gonna have a bad time regardless. These guys and those red pill idiots need to look inward and make changes.

I agree with all this. I think what women need to adjust is not really their expectations in men but in themselves like you said. Stay fit, stay positive, and work on yourself and your experience by traveling, learning new skills, things like that. That will also help women adjust to having a higher level of comfort and security in being alone for periods of time until they find the right one.

 

[MarloStanTrill]

It's a pretty long read but I saw a few points in here that have been mentioned in TLR before so I thought I'd share it.

Hookup culture isn’t the real problem facing singles today. It’s math.



Any thoughts?

 

[bouncy]

No I get what you're saying, we just disagree. I think men had more power then because today women do not have to marry any ole guy just for basic survival. Therefore, back then, a bigger range of types of men could have an equal chance at getting a woman. Now, a woman can go out and earn her own living. So her criteria includes earnings plus more that she might not have factored in 60 years ago when she had limited choices for sustaining herself until she met someone.

I would say that men don't have the ability to go through different classes of women now. If you're referring to opportunity/exposure, I guess so yeah. But even with that opportunity and exposure the vast majority of men are not going to be successful because women's criteria have heightened. The ones that are actually successful, are few. Look at what you keep saying. "If a man has this amount of money, nice looks, good character". You are proving my point. These are criteria that most men will not be able to meet all at once, and therein lies the problem for both men and women. Men don't have it so they don't get attention, women don't have as many men to choose from because they don't have it. Do you understand?

Thats why I say that men and women are bound by the same thing. Even in the situation where men spend time building up these characteristics, that works for women because that is increasing the pool of eligible bachelors, which is what they want. Men and women will always have this push and pull because we're dating and marrying each other.

I agree that it's a back, and forth thing, but I don't agree that most men don't have the three things I mentioned. If you're single, and know how to budget, you don't need to be rich to enjoy the amenities of life. Good character is actually a strong trait men have who are working class men. Looks can mean different things to different people. Good choices of men are out there, its just women aren't looking in the right spots.

All of this stuff is just a game. Whoever plays it smart wins. That's why the article
Said the women should be looking for firemen instead of hanging at the upper west side wine bar. The thing is what I call winning may be different from yours so it all depends on what you want out of the game.

 

[LadySimone]

What women is mature at 21 years old or ready for marriage.. to me it makes more sense for women to get married between 25-30. Most women like the idea of marriage young but have no idea what they are getting themselves into. They have to experience relationships/breakups like young men to enter a healthy relationship. It'seems silly to expect a woman barely out of highschool to be prime for marriage.

These men don't know what they are talking about. Tell women to marry in their "primes" but ignore the high rate of divorce among people who marry so young. They're just too stupid to breathe.

On another note my thread about Kenya Moore exposed all these frauds in here. None of this shyt means anything to black women because we have gone umpteen generations of marrying and dating down. The economic failures of black men have been a noose around our neck for generations. This ain't news to us. They want us to consider blue collar men. Ok. Where are these blue collar men? In the black community even they don't exist.

It's rather interesting that the few black men who do have it together love to celebrate their unicorn status. Enjoy the fruits of the comparatively high number of failed black men who inflate their value.

The black community remains a dangerous place for black women and girls.

 

[LadySimone]

The young college brehs have it better than ever and it's only going to keep getting better

There's no excuses. It's a feeding frenzy

Exhibit A Elliot Rodger

 

[Rue]

The Locker Room
Life and Relationship Advice. Random Off Topic and Less Serious Discussions.

 

[LadySimone]

That is the thing. That is why a older kat can go on campus and pick up darn near any women because of his earning potential. I mean how many of us folks have seen some local with a good job, ride up on campus and get the baddest women.

Women have to understand that they can't play around at a young age dating. They can't play the game men play because their value in society decreases as they get older (sad but true). And Young men need to remember that their value increases as they get older. So focus improving your self when you are young.

This stuff is nothing more than looks and money. Your looks are the best when you are young and your money and worth normally grows when you get older. Women like men who can give security and men like.women with looks.

Hell I go to china every month and you would be amazed at the amount of older dudes in their late 40s and 50s walking around with 20 and 30 year old women. These old men clean up so well (especially the foreigners) these young broke Chinese boys can't get no p*ssy or women.

Another thing folks don't really strategize and think when dating and end up losing a lot. Just poor overall decisions.

I went to UCLA. A school of 36,000 and I never seen no old dude role up on anyone. Stop it. You look silly.

Furthermore tell this shyt to white woman. Black women live in a completely different world where regardless of youth and beauty the generational economic failures of black men mean we have always had to adjust.

This is why black women are being told to date out. Posts like yours are a reason why it's probably an excellent idea. Black women
Shouldn't have to suffer romantically from black men's underachievement.

So brother how long should pookie and ray ray outnumber Jamal?

 

[Yup]

Most men aren't super handsome either most people are average attractive or am i missing something?

 

[Elle Driver]

to sum it up women lose in the dating game as they get older, and the older you get as a man the more of a prize you become

Only if the man has his shyt together I feel.

 

[Yup]

im 41....almost 2o yrs older than some of yall in here....married....2 kids....divorced....remarried....

my advice to the men in here: stay single until your mid 30s...concentrate on your career....women will come....DO NOT waste your college years and your first few post college years (when you finally start making money) tied down to a woman. live. travel. experience life.

my advice to the ladies: ...its tight on yall....men dont care about your degrees or your career. all we care about is if we can get along with you....vertically and horizontally....any man worth a damn makes his own money....we dont need yours. ....go to school....work at your career...but dont overlook cooking....being agreeable...and staying in shape...thats a huge deal to us....

too many of the women in my age group have just given up on being in shape (and some of the men have too tbh).....

Mid 30s is too old.

 

[Yup]

All bullshyt aside, here's my take... And this is coming from a devilishly handsome 31 year old, former engineer finishing up grad school.

-Yes, women lose HARD in the numbers game. But there are a lot of good women who are gonna get screwed regardless. Even if they wanna settle down in their prime, their equal (another 19 year old in college) is not ready and will likely cheat on them or take advantage of them.

-The upside is IF they can stick it out, the dude will usually (not always) grow up and when he's ready he wants to lockdown the girl that's been loyal to him and he knows best. (Most girls will argue with me about this point and how it's not fair. But I didn't create this world, I'm just speaking the truth.)

So let's say that doesn't happen and fast forward past all that and you're at where I'm at. Where people are educated, single, and in their mid 20s to 30s.

At this point in the game it's a crapshoot for BOTH parties. Contrary to popular belief, educated men are under the same pressure as women. We all want to have kids and bring someone home to make our moms proud. It's just that we're more jaded and fearful of a girl's past. But please believe, when a dude finds a quality girl she is wifed up with a quickness. I don't give a fukk what the statistics say. I've seen it with my own eyes. Guys will try to play the numbers game until a smart dude comes along and scoops her up. Then the guy who let her go is like fukk it, I'm not to scared to admit that it's happened to me.

I'm honestly at a point where I'm going to settle down with the next chick that is attractive, cool, and aligns with my life goals and views on life. Notice I didn't say "has two masters" because even tho I'll have that, I don't give a fukk if my wife does. It's not important. What's important is if i can build with her

Lastly, not all men are gonna stand the test of time either. I know some nikkas that fell the fukk off over the past 10 years. They're going to have to lower their expectations as well. They're not grabbing cream of the crop 22 year olds either.

That is more reflective of reality but these dudes don't want to admit it to themselves.