What Do You Choose? Loneliness/Solitude Or A Woman With A Bad Energy/Questionable Past?

[Weaver31]

If I was 40 I would not be talking to chicks over 35+.

I'm younger than 30 and got chicks 30-32 in my phone with no kids. I wouldn't look past that age.

I see what u saying but the OP comes off as having his shyt together and looking for mature, self sufficient, intelligent and sophisticated women and its usually women around his age range who are like that.

 

[southern.girl]

I can understand being turned off by bitterness, but OP also sounds like he’s set in his ways. It’s just the overall feel of this thread.

Ironically, a man being set in his ways is a stereotypical trait of older men...much like being bitter is a stereotypical trait of older women. And this “get a younger woman“ advice is straight hoop dreams. Unless you’re completely loaded, there’s no 40ish, in her sexual peak, woman that wants to be with a 65 year old man.

 

[NaijaProdigy Redux]

Peace of mind and sanity should always outweigh the presence of a woman.

 

[Weaver31]

Of course I would choose solitude (hate loneliness) over negative energy because the bad energy gonna ruin ur quality of life.

OP,
I think u should spend more time and energy meeting women offline. Most folks over 30 online are there just for sex or aren't the most desirable.

You should look within ur social circle or expand it. Look at joining organizations, attending church functions, other social functions and even look at hobbies. Also, don't be afraid to approach anf make a move if the vibe is right.

I feel u cuz I'm 36 and I would love to find a desirable, attractive, gainfully employed intellectual stimulating woman but its difficult outchea.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

shiiddd me to.im trien to hold back for a page or 2 so it get skipped over slick like

You already know what I’m gonna say brethren

 

[Deuterion]

I'm 40 and I've really been on my purpose. Stacking paper and trying to stay on top of my fitness. Had pretty much given up on dating.

Then my brother suggested that I join BLK. It's a dating app that's pretty afrocentric in nature. Has some nice professionals on there and they be choosing. You actually get messages from REAL profiles, unlike POF which is full of fake profiles, bots, and BackPage rejects

I usually date my age group. Between like 37-43. And I'm noticing from my time on this site. These chicks have issues

Nasty attitudes, bitter, trust issues developed from failed relationship after failed relationship, no sense of humor, materialistic and shallow as fukk, narcissistic, ghosting for no fukking reason, fukked up energy, etc. I thought this type of behavior was reserved for younger women. I thought older women would be more mellowed out and accommodating

Now. They ARE DTF, it seems. They be trying to meet up QUICK

But, at this age, it takes more than a woman's physical to keep my interest. I actually have to enjoy your company and not mind being around you for extended periods. And I can't seem to find a woman I can stand. I be fed up and just over them quick. My patience has waned with women's bullshyt as I get older. They literally all feel the same. And I just lose interest. It takes more than p*ssy to keep me around these days. And it seems like all the virtuous, good women are taken or nonexistent in these modern dating times. I don't know brehs. This may be the end of the line for me. shyt looking hella bleak out here

I'm in the same boat as you but I think it's largely here in So. Cal. as I've met some really quality Black women traveling across the US. I got a sista in Dallas that's really solid, grounded morally, great career, and I have another one in CT that is a property owner, great job, and smart. being able to travel 50% of the time for work has really opened my eyes to the Black women out there...we have a really superficial culture out here.

 

[DOGGFATHER96]

Breh... I know you don't want to but you'll have to start dating women in their early to mid 20s before they become damaged and jaded.

I tend to date older women because the younger ones are just annoying and immature for the most part. One thing they do have over the older women is potential. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

A scarred women is scarred for life. No amount of rehabilitation is going to make her less jaded. Trust me I've been there. Older women won't BS you when it comes to fukking because they know they can't use that as bargaining at their age. No breh is gonna wait for reheated left overs when there is fresh meat being prepared in the market.

The problem is, the ones who are still single didn't work on their personality. They were either too career focused or were holding out for Mr Perfect and are now mad their window of opportunity is gone.

I got out of a long term relationship last year and man I feel emancipated. Waking up and only having to worry about your own happiness is liberating. Sure I want a family one day but I know as a man that time is on my side. I've met a lot of professional brehs who didn't start a family until their 40s. Most of them wife'd women in their 20s and they couldn't be happier.

I'd say start looking more so at women in their 20s.

I wouldn't say a woman in her 20s is any better because they become jaded in HS due to that being the era of when they messed over for the first time and afterwards it becomes a downward spiral

 

[Balla]

I can understand being turned off by bitterness, but OP also sounds like he’s set in his ways. It’s just the overall feel of this thread.

Ironically, a man being set in his ways is a stereotypical trait of older men...much like being bitter is a stereotypical trait of older women. And this “get a younger woman“ advice is straight hoop dreams. Unless you’re completely loaded, there’s no 40ish, in her sexual peak, woman that wants to be with a 65 year old man.

Op isn’t 60 though, and it’s not hoop dreams to get a younger woman when you’re an older man.

I’m not saying it’s easy with a big age gap, but op is 40, why can’t he get a chick in her early 30s?

If a dude is 60, why can’t he get a 45 year old woman?

Women act like they don’t have to worry about age.

 

[ThaRealness]

Bad energy and questionable past are quite different. I dont care about the past, as long as she still in her prime

Just dont set me up with a girl who's stock is plummeting.

 

[Balla]

OP you on BLK, that is one of the worst dating apps out there, nothing but trash. Do not look for a girl or wife on an app, especially BLK.

Hinge would be your best bet to have a FWB, but I don’t recommend a relationship from an app.

For your question, you have to learn to enjoy your own company man. If you depend on a chick to make you happy, you lost.

You’re going to treat her like a fukkin diamond and when y’all break up you gonna be wrecked.

All bytches ain’t shyt breh, I’m sorry. You can be 20 you can be 40, she can be 20 she can be 40, it’s still the same breh.

You would still be with one of your ex’s if shyt was sweet right? It is what it is.

Just keep dating, if you find her you find her.

 

[semicko82]

OP stop looking for something serious and just have fun

 

[T.H.E. Goat]

Get you a small town woman, you’ll have to probably move her out to Cali and hold her down until she get on her feet though

 

[A1aaa]

late 20s here. 20 - 25 is all i deal with... we doing well here .

the baggage starts to emerge of the other half of their 20s for a lot of these chicks... peace of mind takes precedence all day.


i know i may get negged... but i'd say at 40, you may as well go foreign. it's not a race thing -- i think american culture period in its current incarnation isn't conducive to having a woman who's down to ride for you - black, white, hispanic or asian. not to say you couldn't get burned that way, too... but if you find a woman from a family oriented culture who doesn't mind dating a older breh, could work out.


the girls i've dated who looked out for me the most were brazilian and haitian, so maybe i'm biased

 

[southern.girl]

Op isn’t 60 though, and it’s not hoop dreams to get a younger woman when you’re an older man.

I’m not saying it’s easy with a big age gap, but op is 40, why can’t he get a chick in her early 30s?

If a dude is 60, why can’t he get a 45 year old woman?

Women act like they don’t have to worry about age.

OP getting with a 30-40 y/o woman is normal b/c that’s a similar age & experience range. I was not referring to that.

OP is 40 and people have recommended that he seek out 25 y/o. The problem is that while this arrangement may have a slight chance of working out now, it will most likely blow up in his face a decade or so later. When that woman gets older, aka 40, she will not desire a 60 year old man. A woman at 40 has the sexual hormones of a teenage boy. Yet she has connected with an AARP recipient. That is not realistic.

Furthermore, women know that age can be a factor in dating. The only group that thinks that age doesn’t impact them are men...and it’s quite delusional thinking.

 

[Balla]

OP getting with a 30-40 y/o woman is normal b/c that’s a similar age & experience range. I was not referring to that.

OP is 40 and people have recommended that he seek out 25 y/o. The problem is that while this arrangement may have a slight chance of working out now, it will most likely blow up in his face a decade or so later. When that woman gets older, aka 40, she will not desire a 60 year old man. A woman at 40 has the sexual hormones of a teenage boy. Yet she has connected with an AARP recipient. That is not realistic.

Furthermore, women know that age can be a factor in dating. The only group that thinks that age doesn’t impact them are men...and it’s quite delusional thinking.

So a chick that’s with a man since she was 25 is going to leave him when she’s 40 and he’s 60?

So he will age that bad and become that unattractive to her?

So her feelings will just go away?

I’m not arguing because I definitely don’t put it past a woman to do that.

Who is the 40 year old chick gonna go after? I hope she doesn’t think younger men want her.

No one said age doesn’t impact men, but let’s be real; age impacts women a lot more than men.

Women literally have to have kids before 40.

That’s why they always rush to have them once their late 20s early 30s.

I had a chick who was literally 30 telling me she is trying to have kids ASAP.

I was bugged out, like shawty you not even mid 30s and you panicking to have a baby that quick?

Women are also pressured to be married as well by a certain age or they look undesirable.

I'm not saying they are, just what I heard.

So I think there is a bigger impact with age and women.