Why do some men act like talking to women is rocket science?

[Black Panther]

A confident dude is still getting curved more times than not. At least I do anyway.

IMO, that means that you're filtering out women that you don't need to know.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

True but you can't be shook on all fronts. You need to have a comfort zone. Whether it's mutual friends, the club, tinder, malls...you just need an element. If you live in a major city you just need to find your element and stick to it.

My element is social settings. Clubs, events, concerts, parties - especially where there is music and alcohol. Anywhere people are enjoying themselves. I rarely holla at women randomly going about their business unless the vibes are strong (which in itself, is rare).

I live in a city where I can go to these spaces twice a week, if needed. Shoot my shot with over a dozen women.

Conversely, I have friends whose game is so-so in the physical. But they killing it on Tinder, POF etc. I think I get a better quality of woman in the flesh so don't do that but whatever works is the key.

OK I follow. Yea, everyone just needs to find their groove. A lot of the problems these dudes face is they are in one of three places.... work, their mom's basement, or out at the mall or public places like those dudes pitching tax services Dudes wanna go bag a woman like a sandwich at Subway. It's not that simple

 

[Black Panther]

Oh, also, women ain't "property" to acquire.

Most dudes agree with that on a surface level, but forget that when they try to approach women.

Women have wants, needs, and interests. To reiterate, there's no "cheat code" to make any woman instantly want to sleep with you. Just depends on what she's looking for. Not all women are the same.

 

[RTF]

IMO, that means that you're filtering out women that you don't need to know.

Yeah of course. But the fact remains if you approach a woman, confidence on full whatever... you are likely to be rejected as in 50%+.

IMO the key is being ok with rejection. Once you conquer that, you're on easy streak.

Me and my boy broke it down perfectly a few years ago. On a night out one of us could talk to 12 girls (some in groups). Could get no play from 9.... 6 of which we even forget happened.. so in our conscious memories we got 3 numbers and if we lucky went further with 1. Rejected by 3. But if you really look at it the stats are worse.

But we take rejection well.

 

[eastsideTT]

at all the charleton hustlers eating real big off of dudes who can't talk to girls IRL. Read my book, attend my seminar, download my new PDF on "how to text" for $20. Dudes are making a killing off this shyt. Saw some dude online charging kids $1000 to eat lunch with him for an hour and his schedule was booked I really can't emphasize with people with low / no social skills. maybe younger kids because times are way different but if you're in your 30s and have trouble doing basic shyt like talking to people you gotta fix that shyt ASAP man. it all ties in to being observant and paying attention to the world around you. knowing how to operate in different situations, know where you're going, etc... these are skills that were just natural to most people that are getting lost on the new kids and its sad. if you're Asian or you're a young kid i empathize but if you're grown and you came up in the 80s/90s before the world turned into what it has now you should be at an advantage, not a disadvantage. Blogs / forums aren't gonna save you. treat shyt like a black and white science and you'll get black and white results

 

[JQ Legend]

You don't have to be a social butterfly, babe

But the levels of social anxiety among today's young men is weird.

Like, they really have to figure out what is causing this mental health pandemic.

Shti is weird.

And women dont suffer from extreme social anxiety?

When the last time u approached a dude you were attracted to?

 

[AITheAnswerAI]

There's more to that. You withholding info, but that's OK.

@Wild self You don't believe in yourself, that's what that is. You talk to these women scared, instead of talking to them like you aren't impressed.

You act like there's some cheat code, but that isn't how this whole thing works. Just get more comfortable in your own shoes, talk to these girls like they're just a regular person, and you'll be fine.

Things like the gym and nice clothing help, but at the end of the day you have to learn to value yourself.

Also, give the porn a rest.

 

[PhonZhi]

That's pretty much the sum of it. For example, if I see an attractive woman that I like, but she's not even looking in my direction, I don't even bother, because in my mind, she's not interested. And if she's not interested, then I'm not going to waste my energy or neither of our time trying to spark up a conversation.

My problem has always been either picking up signals or starting off the convo. But once I get introduced, i'm good money.

Jesus, really?

So if you see a pretty thang in Wal-Mart you not gon say anything because she's not staring you down?

Breh, the first chick I smashed after moving to ATL few years ago was from a cold approach in a Wal-Mart. I just walked up to her, asked what her name was and told her that I thought she was cute and I just HAD to come over and say something. That simple. No "signals", no nothing. I just walked up to her and started talking. I've also been rejected doing this, but who cares. Being rejected feels 10X better than wondering "what if"

Breh, unless its a chick that you see all the time, never look for "signals". If you just out and about in a store or library and you'll never see this chick again, go for it.

That "signals" & "signs" shyt gonna keep you with a dry dikk

 

[Ski Mask]

I don't get these threads, if repeating "just b confident" or telling them to man up isn't working, why continue? It's like telling fat people to move more and eat less, and then getting pissed off that we still have an obesity crisis.


There is no one size fits all cure for these dudes, considering their problems may arise from several sources, (i.e. low self esteem/confidence, aspergers/ anxiety issues, etc...)

 

[Wild self]

@Wild self You don't believe in yourself, that's what that is. You talk to these women scared, instead of talking to them like you aren't impressed.

You act like there's some cheat code, but that isn't how this whole thing works. Just get more comfortable in your own shoes, talk to these girls like they're just a regular person, and you'll be fine.

Things like the gym and nice clothing help, but at the end of the day you have to learn to value yourself.

Also, give the porn a rest.

we know that. No way to get a woman 100% success rate. Just work to get the best version of yourself, and let it do the rest.

 

[Dameon Farrow]

Who raised y'all nikkas?



If you see a chick showing some interests at all.


Go talk to her, don't say some creep shyt, and don't be a lame.


In fact, if you're an attractive breh you literally gotta try to talk yourself out of some p*ssy


Nigggas treat females like unicorns and get all flabbergasted talking to them, talk like a human being damn.

Nah....there must be cheat codes to it. Can't be that simple. What if she's a bedwench? What if she's a PAWG that will bring rape charges on me because I'm a keyboard militant? Miriad of other excuses that basically come down to 'I can't handle rejection.'- The Locker Room weirdos.

 

[blackzeus]

Who raised y'all nikkas?



If you see a chick showing some interests at all.


Go talk to her, don't say some creep shyt, and don't be a lame.


In fact, if you're an attractive breh you literally gotta try to talk yourself out of some p*ssy


Nigggas treat females like unicorns and get all flabbergasted talking to them, talk like a human being damn.

It almost seems sometimes like the Coli is a congregation of the bottom feeders of black society

 

[blackzeus]

Most people struggle with walking up to strangers and engaging in conversation.

The fact you don't know whether that person would want to be bothered is the biggest fear.

You can wait for a woman to "show interest" but depending on how attractive you are/versus how picky you are, it could be a while before you get a good opportunity.

It's not rocket science if a woman you deem attractive is eyeballing you. But for a lot of brehs, that doesn't happen, therefore they have to force the issue and put pressure on their conversation skills to create the opportunity.

Also, for some guys, they have to hold their personality back, to not come off as lame. I had to learn through years of trial and error as to what not to say around women.

It's the catch 22:

1) Girl is thinking: "if he is all that, I would have noticed, why is this scrub approaching me?"

2) Girl is thinking: "what's up with this f*kkboi, why isn't he hollering at me?"


The key is to not give a f*ck, basically f*ck fear. Be a man, holler at women you want to f*ck, that's what the chase is about. You could be Steve Urkel, you approach 100 women respectfully, 1 of them is going to say yes. Hell in 2017 with the way people are f*cking 25 of them might say yes

 

[raoulduke187]

Read this very carefully, breh:

IDGAF who raised you - get out of your fukking feelings. You're a man. You are not a woman. The fukk do you look like being a grown ass man afraid of a damn woman?

This shyt is incredibly simple. You work on improving yourself and reducing your weaknesses, and then you showcase your positive qualities to a bunch of women until they let you fukk. Period. That's it.

Now go and get it young breh

 

[cam>]

Too many people online...too zoned in on social media, websites, and playing games online and on their phones and tablets. Too many young folks grow up doing this and they lack the social skills....not all but a very noticeable amount. Also too many young men grow up in single family homes and they can miss life lessons learned from their father...especially if an older bro, uncle, male mentor, older more socially experienced friend, etc. don't step in and be that role model. I know dudes my age and younger men and you can tell they missed some life shyt throughout their adolescence...even the intelligent and educated ones. Also lack of father figure or male influence can cause some men do develop more feminine or soft ways...not all males but it happens very frequently.

Then women do have some social power where they can diss a man who approach them and that can fuk a man's confidence and self-esteem up. Most self respecting men would just be like fuk her and move on but if their confidence is low...it can fuk up their soul.

But one older coworker did tell me she notice people nowadays take so many meds and have so many personality disorders, mental issues, and other shyt. Maybe its environment, something in the food or water...who knows....but like u said...some others noticed the change. Not that mental issues and social anxiety didn't occur in the past...its just more diagnosed and noticed nowadays.

I appreciate your analysis.

And i agree