Why do women keep remarking that I’m quiet at work?

[SheWantTheD]

I get this too sometimes.

I'm quiet unless everyone else around me is quiet too then I make the effort to speak up, start a conversation etc.

If I was ugly, had nerdy mannerisms and was socially awkward, most people wouldn't even notice me.

I got voted quietest kid in the 8th grade. When they gave me that award I looked at the dude next to me like "This kid quieter than me".

Also I had dealt with bullying and shyt at home, so I went from being the class clown to quiet.

 

[Uitomy]

Yup I dealt with this at my job too. I did my job and talked when I needed to and even joked around but to some of the women in the office they thought I was just the most reserved and quiet person on earth.

I think it’s a slick way of getting you uncomfortable, I think it’s common sense to know if a person isn’t speaking up much it’s for a reason. They probably shyt test us just to see how our attitude might change cause they said that. They stay gauging us.

 

[SheWantTheD]

I get this too sometimes.

I'm quiet unless everyone else around me is quiet too then I make the effort to speak up, start a conversation etc.

If I was ugly, had nerdy mannerisms and was socially awkward, most people wouldn't even notice me.

I got voted quietest kid in the 8th grade. When they gave me that award I looked at the dude next to me like "This kid quieter than me".

Also I had dealt with bullying and shyt at home, so I went from being the class clown to quiet.

 

[Kerkum]

A black man being reserved = threatening to them.

Yup, they love a buck dancing negro that’ll teach you the latest dance craze or give you an animated play by play of last night’s game. But if a brutha shows up to his job and only speaks when spoken to, they don’t know how to take that. I work at a school district and these middle-aged white women will force eye contact and make sure I speak them when I walk past. Otherwise I look right past they ass

 

[O.T.I.S.]

If you a handsome breh they want to throw you some p*ssy. shyt is intriguing to them.

Just answer back on some funny/cool deadpan shyt and have them eating out of your palms.

As long as you don’t behave like a bytch ass nikka around them though

 

[Spotja]

Some of the women at work where saying that about me last night when I was punching out

Bout 87% sure they were lowkey flirting with me tho

Breh had to be technical with it.Why not 80% or 90%?

 

[EBK String]

my last boss kept talking about how quiet I am when literally no one in the office spoke during the day. I still want to ring his fukking neck, a lil passive agressive bytch.

 

[Nymbus]

why are you so loud?
only said this at school though lol

 

[Uitomy]

If you a handsome breh they want to throw you some p*ssy. shyt is intriguing to them.

Just answer back on some funny/cool deadpan shyt and have them eating out of your palms.

As long as you don’t behave like a bytch ass nikka around them though

The chick who said that to me currently can just strike me out then, she’d have to pay me but I’ll keep that in mind for the future, but to me that kind of shyt is intense I don’t really get pursued by women, not my forte.

 

[invalid]

I’m taking a contrarian position from most posters and will say that this has nothing to do with race.

OP, if you want to get ahead in life, you will learn that those that do, most of the time, are not the smartest people in the room. The folks that are the most successful are the people that have superior social capital.

I work in an all-white high paying industry and it’s the same for everyone. My job and many others take the “fit” approach to hiring. We only hire a candidate based off of them being a good fit. Most of the time, this means the right “social” fit. Because we work long stressful hours, they want to make sure that the people they onboard will get on well with the team. The question is asked, “is this candidate someone in which we would want to be stuck 8 hours at an airport with?”

If you are a dull non-social person then the answer will be no and you’re not getting hired. The question is loaded because it implies that a good candidate will have similar hobbies and interests as the team (real hobbies like sports, traveling, and outdoor activities), that they are social, fun, and engaging enough to help the stressful long day go by quicker, and that they are outgoing and proactive in building/establishing/parlaying relationships. Introverted people and those that lack social capital get passed up 100% of the time.

And this a reason why there are not many blacks in my industry because so often we take the “I just go in to do my job and not make friends approach” which is easy to spot in a person and will get you dinged immediately for a position.

My advice would be to be a bit more proactive in being engaging and improving your social skills. Take every opportunity to build those skills, at work, school, bars, or parties. Everywhere. It will only improve your lot later in life. It’s not about “uncomfortableness” it’s about people wanting to be around fun people to pass the time with, especially if you’re working a shytty job.

 

[Zero]

They're trying to talk to your dumb ass

 

[Zero]

No one's attacking any of you nikkas, subliminally or directly....you're just losers with no social skills

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

OP, KEEP TO YOURSELF!

DONT FALL FOR IT.

 

[Trot LaRoc]

I’m taking a contrarian position from most posters and will say that this has nothing to do with race.

OP, if you want to get ahead in life, you will learn that those that do, most of the time, are not the smartest people in the room. The folks that are the most successful are the people that have superior social capital.

I work in an all-white high paying industry and it’s the same for everyone. My job and many others take the “fit” approach to hiring. We only hire a candidate based off of them being a good fit. Most of the time, this means the right “social” fit. Because we work long stressful hours, they want to make sure that the people they onboard will get on well with the team. The question is asked, “is this candidate someone in which we would want to be stuck 8 hours at an airport with?”

If you are a dull non-social person then the answer will be no and you’re not getting hired. The question is loaded because it implies that a good candidate will have similar hobbies and interests as the team (real hobbies like sports, traveling, and outdoor activities), that they are social, fun, and engaging enough to help the stressful long day go by quicker, and that they are outgoing and proactive in building/establishing/parlaying relationships. Introverted people and those that lack social capital get passed up 100% of the time.

And this a reason why there are not many blacks in my industry because so often we take the “I just go in to do my job and not make friends approach” which is easy to spot in a person and will get you dinged immediately for a position.

My advice would be to be a bit more proactive in being engaging and improving your social skills. Take every opportunity to build those skills, at work, school, bars, or parties. Everywhere. It will only improve your lot later in life. It’s not about “uncomfortableness” it’s about people wanting to be around fun people to pass the time with, especially if you’re working a shytty job.

Str8 facts but u gotta be careful to not be too much of an open book. Shyt will b used against u

 

[Child_Of_God]

I use to get this a lot too. Most people automatically expect black men to be loud, full of jokes and the center of attention. A lot of this stems from the media and it’s not right how I am expected to be what people’s idea of a black male is suppose to be and if I’m not then I’m automatically a loser.