And there you go... that's all you need. Relationships are work, and if you can make it work, then you're good.
All this unconditional-soulmate-perfect match stuff is for people not rooted in reality.
What you have is just fine
women cannot “love” unconditionally Like we do?
- Thread starter Beerus
- Start date
And there you go... that's all you need. Relationships are work, and if you can make it work, then you're good.
All this unconditional-soulmate-perfect match stuff is for people not rooted in reality.
What you have is just fine
You're right and i usually avoid these type of threads, but i got caught up.
I don't know why we get caught in the cycle of tryna compare hurt likes it's some kind of competition. I been through alot, but that doesnt mean what others have hone through is less important.
StickStickly
Superstar
but they look that one girl from freshman year more than they'll ever love anyone for the next 80 years
yet they didn't commit
How is wanting personality superficial? How the hell is wanting to connect with your partner superficial. Superficial means surface, breh, so in other words looks which are only skin deep. Beautiful women getting dikk isn't the point. See that's all you are able to comprehend: a relationship between men and women is getting "dikk" or "p*ssy". You can't fathom anything else. You can't see that beautiful women don't care about getting dikk, they want something meaningful in the end. When you find a personality match, your soul is stimulated. Anyone can be pretty or handsome, not just anyone can stimulate your soul. That's the opposite of superficiality.
That's fine if women are objects of desire, but like I said, you keep incriminating yourselves and keep proving my point: men are superficial. And thusly You are also subtly proving OP's counterpoint: most men are incapable of deep love for women. It's only skin deep.
a comment from Women in Love
It's so honest and right.
Maira
May 27th, 2013 at 4:18 pm
Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved.
Just out of curiosity, how does a man expect to be loved?
Apparently, the problem is that women love men for some reasons… for qualities… Men have to be something to be loved. (Correct me if I’m wrong).
I sometimes wonder… OK, correct me if I’m wrong, this is just a hypothesis. I do not think the problem is that women love conditionally (that is, they love men for possitive traits). I think the problem is that men love women for nothing.
In their teens, boys are not very attractive, and also a bit aggressive. Most boys are not wanted by the girls. Boys are supposed to grow into men. They must earn their value.
In their teens, girls are very attractive and boys and men want them. Womanhood is not required of them. Other higher values are not socially required of them. They are not forced to earn their value.
Manhood is to be earned. A boy has, socially, less worth than a man.
However, society puts great value in girls, much less than it gives to grown-up, loyal, responsible, rational, caring women. Boys do NOT get love or value for existing. Girls get loved, basically for nothing that is their own merit.
I was already scared of being considered useless after my 30s when I was 15, so I thought a bit about it and arrived to this conclusion:
“You don’t have to fear old age if you do things right. The only problem when you are 35 is that you are a man. You will not get free attention, you will not be listened to unless you have something interesting to say, you will have to work out your way in life. Might as well start right now, and not rely on looks for anything. First of all, I do not choose whether I’m pretty or not: whoever is looking chooses. And in any case, it’s not going to last. Only thing I need is to try to become better, smarter, a hard worker, earn my own money… So when my looks are away, I’m worth something”.
As far as I know, most young girls (specially the more attractive ones, and more so the ones who qualify as “hot”) do not know this, rarely arrive to such a conclusion, and get into “I am worth it” mindset. They do not think they have to become “women”. They do not think they have to do something to be of value because society tells them they are already valuable just for existing. This leads to a tremendous waste of their 20s, years in which you are supposed to learn, mature, work, and not hurt your body much.
So… Correct me if I’m wrong, but… I don’t know if the problem lies so much in women not loving men for reasons, as the fact that men are wired to love girls and young women just because. And logically, men may be astounded at the fact that women cannot lovem them back the same way.
It is nobody’s fault, that’s how it’s ingrained in our genes. A tribal Neolithic society of 100 individuals can afford to lose 90% of the men, and it will survive. Not so much if it loses 90% of the women. Because of that, girls are wanted just because. They have value for existing. While boys rarely do (at least in the sexual market: in theory, in our democratic societies, every life is of equal value).
But maybe the problem is that men want women to love them as they love (or want) women. And I am not sure that is possible. I need to respect a man to love him.
I soon realized that being sexually attractive to a male (at least in my late teens and 20s) meant nothing. Having a man’s respect is something of value, because it doesn’t come for free. You have to earn it, and that makes you a better person.
I am sorry our genes are wired that way, because that sense of power and entitlement some women have in their prime stops them from pursuing better interests, they don’t develop their personalities, skills, social sphere… Nothing. It’s really bad for them in the long run, because when their looks fade, they have nothing.
However, just because our genes are wired in an unfair way, doesn’t mean we as human beings have to be unfair. Civilization is a lot about putting a stop to those goddamn selfish genes for the best of all of us (or so I thought).
Maybe the trick is loving women for good qualities and traits they have worked on. To love women conditionally when they deserve it.
Just a few thoughts.
Good blog. Sad. Scary at times. But very good.
It's so honest and right.
Maira
May 27th, 2013 at 4:18 pm
Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved.
Just out of curiosity, how does a man expect to be loved?
Apparently, the problem is that women love men for some reasons… for qualities… Men have to be something to be loved. (Correct me if I’m wrong).
I sometimes wonder… OK, correct me if I’m wrong, this is just a hypothesis. I do not think the problem is that women love conditionally (that is, they love men for possitive traits). I think the problem is that men love women for nothing.
In their teens, boys are not very attractive, and also a bit aggressive. Most boys are not wanted by the girls. Boys are supposed to grow into men. They must earn their value.
In their teens, girls are very attractive and boys and men want them. Womanhood is not required of them. Other higher values are not socially required of them. They are not forced to earn their value.
Manhood is to be earned. A boy has, socially, less worth than a man.
However, society puts great value in girls, much less than it gives to grown-up, loyal, responsible, rational, caring women. Boys do NOT get love or value for existing. Girls get loved, basically for nothing that is their own merit.
I was already scared of being considered useless after my 30s when I was 15, so I thought a bit about it and arrived to this conclusion:
“You don’t have to fear old age if you do things right. The only problem when you are 35 is that you are a man. You will not get free attention, you will not be listened to unless you have something interesting to say, you will have to work out your way in life. Might as well start right now, and not rely on looks for anything. First of all, I do not choose whether I’m pretty or not: whoever is looking chooses. And in any case, it’s not going to last. Only thing I need is to try to become better, smarter, a hard worker, earn my own money… So when my looks are away, I’m worth something”.
As far as I know, most young girls (specially the more attractive ones, and more so the ones who qualify as “hot”) do not know this, rarely arrive to such a conclusion, and get into “I am worth it” mindset. They do not think they have to become “women”. They do not think they have to do something to be of value because society tells them they are already valuable just for existing. This leads to a tremendous waste of their 20s, years in which you are supposed to learn, mature, work, and not hurt your body much.
So… Correct me if I’m wrong, but… I don’t know if the problem lies so much in women not loving men for reasons, as the fact that men are wired to love girls and young women just because. And logically, men may be astounded at the fact that women cannot lovem them back the same way.
It is nobody’s fault, that’s how it’s ingrained in our genes. A tribal Neolithic society of 100 individuals can afford to lose 90% of the men, and it will survive. Not so much if it loses 90% of the women. Because of that, girls are wanted just because. They have value for existing. While boys rarely do (at least in the sexual market: in theory, in our democratic societies, every life is of equal value).
But maybe the problem is that men want women to love them as they love (or want) women. And I am not sure that is possible. I need to respect a man to love him.
I soon realized that being sexually attractive to a male (at least in my late teens and 20s) meant nothing. Having a man’s respect is something of value, because it doesn’t come for free. You have to earn it, and that makes you a better person.
I am sorry our genes are wired that way, because that sense of power and entitlement some women have in their prime stops them from pursuing better interests, they don’t develop their personalities, skills, social sphere… Nothing. It’s really bad for them in the long run, because when their looks fade, they have nothing.
However, just because our genes are wired in an unfair way, doesn’t mean we as human beings have to be unfair. Civilization is a lot about putting a stop to those goddamn selfish genes for the best of all of us (or so I thought).
Maybe the trick is loving women for good qualities and traits they have worked on. To love women conditionally when they deserve it.
Just a few thoughts.
Good blog. Sad. Scary at times. But very good.
I do want to know why women "fall in love" so easily though. Can y'all ladies explain that? Outside of my family members I believe I've only been truly in love maybe once. How do some of y'all fall in love more than two times in the same calendar year? 
Saying i love you and actually loving soneone are two separate things. I've had a guy say ge loved me within two weeks of meeting him.I knew he was a full of crap. I am sure many guys have done that plenty to get women to sleep with them.I do want to know why women "fall in love" so easily though. Can y'all ladies explain that? Outside of my family members I believe I've only been truly in love maybe once. How do some of y'all fall in love more than two times in the same calendar year?
live it to the limit
All Star
Hurt people, hurt people. A lot of hurt people on this board
Perhaps for the same reason to get what they want. Deceit is the name of the game. I never claimed to love someone that i didnt love. So i wouldnt know.
MarloStanTrill
Banned
MarloStanTrill
Banned
We need a function to skip post by gender.
The broads are in here trying to suppress the truth, but God is on our side. He cursed them. He knows the truth
The broads are in here trying to suppress the truth, but God is on our side. He cursed them. He knows the truth
MooseMouthMthafuga
Veteran
The thought is out there.
That men are the true "lovers".
Men mostly love a woman for who she naturally is.
Women love men based on surrounding circumstances(social standings) & attachments(Money, cars etc..)
Which isn't really a big deal if a chick chose a nicca and stayed with him.Problem nowadays, they're always looking to "upgrade" or, even worst, they try to reverse the game.They wanna be the ones with the social standings/attachments.
Some gigolo minded, puzzy ass niccaz fall for this and get stuck in a rut.Depending on the girl for food, clothing, shelter, and transportation.
The modern "independent" female is comfortable with that situation.They feel more in control of the relationship.If he needs me, he won't leave me as quickly.Plus a lot of these chicks have kids, so they don't mind having a nicca who's willing to stay home and babysit.
You especially see that type of shyt going on in hood areas.The chick will be on section 8/utilities aid/EBT---paying like $100 total for rent & lights.No daycare bill because her man stays home to watch the kids--food covered by EBT---she'll get her a lil telemarketing job---her man dabbles in lil nickle & dime hustling--selling a lil weed here & there
And they'll be living ghetto fabulous.They'll have more discretionary income than people making 70-80,000 a year
That men are the true "lovers".
Men mostly love a woman for who she naturally is.
Women love men based on surrounding circumstances(social standings) & attachments(Money, cars etc..)
Which isn't really a big deal if a chick chose a nicca and stayed with him.Problem nowadays, they're always looking to "upgrade" or, even worst, they try to reverse the game.They wanna be the ones with the social standings/attachments.
Some gigolo minded, puzzy ass niccaz fall for this and get stuck in a rut.Depending on the girl for food, clothing, shelter, and transportation.
The modern "independent" female is comfortable with that situation.They feel more in control of the relationship.If he needs me, he won't leave me as quickly.Plus a lot of these chicks have kids, so they don't mind having a nicca who's willing to stay home and babysit.
You especially see that type of shyt going on in hood areas.The chick will be on section 8/utilities aid/EBT---paying like $100 total for rent & lights.No daycare bill because her man stays home to watch the kids--food covered by EBT---she'll get her a lil telemarketing job---her man dabbles in lil nickle & dime hustling--selling a lil weed here & there
And they'll be living ghetto fabulous.They'll have more discretionary income than people making 70-80,000 a year
Youseenmywork
KING
but they look that one girl from freshman year more than they'll ever love anyone for the next 80 years
yet they didn't commit
How is wanting personality superficial? How the hell is wanting to connect with your partner superficial. Superficial means surface, breh, so in other words looks which are only skin deep. Beautiful women getting dikk isn't the point. See that's all you are able to comprehend: a relationship between men and women is getting "dikk" or "p*ssy". You can't fathom anything else. You can't see that beautiful women don't care about getting dikk, they want something meaningful in the end. When you find a personality match, your soul is stimulated. Anyone can be pretty or handsome, not just anyone can stimulate your soul. That's the opposite of superficiality.
That's fine if women are objects of desire, but like I said, you keep incriminating yourselves and keep proving my point: men are superficial. And thusly You are also subtly proving OP's counterpoint: most men are incapable of deep love for women. It's only skin deep.
Man I promise woman can be dumb. In the beginning a man is attracted to you for your beauty even if he dosent approach you . See the problem women have is you guys try to SELL us things in the beginning that we don't ask for. Women have to start selling MEN what we are trying to BUY. As I previously stated it takes a while for a man to love a women it has to GROW on us unlike women.
As far as personality goes women are superficial because I want to walk around and JUST be Clark Kent. I don't wanna be SUPERMAN unless I need be. See before I got a personality I was and is a winner before I was able to charm or have charisma or just able to make a women laught....I was always good guy BEFORE I had all that shyt. Did I get the women I wanted nope. I had to become superman for women to like me. That's why men feel so much resentment I was good guy before I had the cars the clothes the house ....the money. What women have to understand is that we just different creatures NO man is out here HUNTING love if it happens then it happens. We are trained to hunt for vagina ....women Hunt our MANHOOD ...relentless.
Women love better naturally because you guys are care takers men love in a manner that's no so much spoken but threw action. Men don't go out on the weekends to club and bars and go "He fellas let's go out and find the last women we EVER going to be with" men just don't do that.
With women it like scratching the lottery...see women don't want to be criticise for HOW they move around because women can give a man some p*ssy when she get ready to . With men it a PROCESS everything and has been since the beginning of time even love us a process for us. Dare I say being faithful is to see if a man can stop trying to hit everything that moves it a challenge that presents itself to US and is for US ...it becomes work trying to be faithful. I see women at this age (31) and no matter how pretty they are ...I see work men have to be creative to KEEP a women happy. The list of things that make me happy is shorter than your list of things that make you happy.
Women are going to learn you cant FORCE a man to HAVE an EMOTION he is NOT ready to have.
