Black Engineer advice to young men: Don't date seriously until you're 30

[Originalman]

Yeah I read this like wtf ? Nigerian students alone are rife in this industry ...sisters too

Breh here in dallas I have had meet ups with black engineers from places like lockheed and Texas Instruments.

The sistas (and brothas) were deep in then jokers. And bad ass fine sistas too.

shyt at one gig I worked at there was one of the finest sistas (who was nigerian) I have ever seen.....she was also an engineer.

 

[Rawtid]

I know people in their 40s still paying off med school.

Plus malpractice insurance

Another reason you get married. Dual incomes and good careers means good money. If a couple has $300k worth of loans between them, but they are clearing $200k, they can live on one salary and pay off their loans in about 3 years. Even if the marriage only lasts 5 years, that's 2 years of $200k income and no student loan payments. You can do this as single person, but living on half of one income is a whole different lifestyle than living on half of two incomes. It will take twice as long, plus you shell out more in taxes. I'm not opposed to marrying strictly out of love, but be strategic as well. There is no way two people with decent incomes should leave out in worse shape than when they started. There is no way people should be married for 15 and 20 years renting an apartment and in bad financial shape.

 

[Cynic]

Another reason you get married. Dual incomes and good careers means good money. If a couple has $300k worth of loans between them, but they are clearing $200k, they can live on one salary and pay off their loans in about 3 years. Even if the marriage only lasts 5 years, that's 2 years of $200k income and no student loan payments. You can do this as single person, but living on half of one income is a whole different lifestyle than living on half of two incomes. It will take twice as long, plus you shell out more in taxes. I'm not opposed to marrying strictly out of love, but be strategic as well. There is no way two people with decent incomes should leave out in worse shape than when they started. There is no way people should be married for 15 and 20 years renting an apartment and in bad financial shape.

If she has a baby and drops out the workforce guess whose stuck with 2 debts to payoff ?

 

[Originalman]

Engineering?

That's nerd shyt, better get you some street smarts

That right......being an engineer is for the birds. Better off slanging some roooooooooocks!!

 

[BrokePhiBroke]

If she has a baby and drops out the workforce guess whose stuck with 2 debts to payoff ?

You truly are a cynic...

Such a shame..

 

[Shadow King]

advice from a person with experience and success> advice from a person with experience who failed>advice from a person with no experience on the topic

Whether the marriage is actually happy one or not doesn't matter? Just as long as they hanging on it's counted as a successful one? Nah.

If a man 20 years your senior gave you marriage advice that makes perfect sense, but you find out that his wife cheated on him more than once and one of his children isn't his yet he stayed for family's sake, what does that do for the value of his once pristine advice?

There's a difference between listening to people who are single from needing to go the club every month, prioritizing material things, and letting themselves get p*ssy/dikk-whipped vs someone being a solid partner but never achieving "success". Relationships are not a field of tangibility in which one does A through Z and results are guaranteed.

 

[Poitier]

But this is what women have to deal with. Waiting, waiting, and more waiting ...

I love how everyone tells men and women the complete opposite, then shyt on women when they're single.

Don't yall say "a large chunk of women don't aspire to get married" so why are yall in this thread trying to paint women as victims if they don't get a marriage that they might not even want? What am I missing here


Women that want to get married don't got mouths to ask a dude his intentions and a sense of time to keep him on a timeline?

 

[Shadow King]

Double

 

[BrokePhiBroke]

Don't yall say "a large chunk of women don't aspire to get married" so why are yall in this thread trying to paint women as victims if they don't get a marriage that they might not even want? What am I missing here


Women that want to get married don't got mouths to ask a dude his intentions and a sense of time to keep him on a timeline?

What are you even talking about?

There are women who don't want to ever get married and don't aspire to get married.

And?

I never said a large portion of women don't aspire to get married. Most women WANT to be in a relationship and assuming with that being said would like said relationship to mature into possibly a marriage.

So wrong person.

I don't "aspire" to be married and some days I may have my doubts about it.

But would I like to get married and have my own family? Of course I will and I stand on that.

 

[13473]

Whether the marriage is actually happy one or not doesn't matter? Just as long as they hanging on it's counted as a successful one? Nah. .

u take the experience from the unhappy person and don't do it .

if Joe Schmo started having group sex with his wife and it led to their demise then yeah that's useful information. i'm not gonna follow in his footsteps

 

[Poitier]

I never said a large portion of women don't aspire to get married.

I'm too tired to even pull up quotes

I don't "aspire" to be married

So you don't do things specifically to better your odds coming across a husband and children? Actually nevermind don't answer that.

 

[Rawtid]

If she has a baby and drops out the workforce guess whose stuck with 2 debts to payoff ?

Birth control.

 

[Shadow King]

advice from someone in a happy marriage = u know what to do

advice from someone in an unhappy marriage = u know what not to do


knowing what not to do can be helpful

People don't broadcast the state of their marriage like that unless they consistently argue or show distance publicly, which is where the concept of "there's a ring on their finger so their word only" gets fuzzy. You can think it's a happy marriage but behind closed doors it ain't. While the person who's mate is just a boyfriend or girlfriend is in a much happier place.

A ring is just a ring.

 

[BrokePhiBroke]

I'm too tired to even pull up quotes




So you don't do things specifically to better your odds coming across a husband and children? Actually nevermind don't answer that.

Pull up whatever you want.

If I said it I said it but I honestly don't recall.

If dating with a purpose is aspiring I guess you can say that.

But every living breathing thing I do isn't in the hopes of some man finding me "appealing" enough to take the steps that lead to marriage if ya know what I mean.

 

[Jesus Bhrist]

If you can't tell you're girl with a straight face to shut the fukk up without an argument ensuing....then you have no business being in a committed relationship in college....it sounds counterproductive but women test men for their strength & resoluteness is one, if she can easily sway or distract you from you're goals or shame you for you're hobbies she will subconsciously lose respect for you & make you're life a living nightmare, women need men to keep them balanced , I'm not saying be abusive, but I'm saying be the dominant man & authoritative figure in you're relationship that she will acquiesce to & follow you're lead, if you're going to seriously date in college.....if u not ready for that responsibility just be single, stack you're bread, sow you're royal oats & enjoy you're college experience without a burden on you're back