[AGENDA] Why I Stopped Dating Black American Men When I Decided I Was Ready For Marriage

[BLΔCK⁂W⊙LF]

The article was actually pretty good. She didn't shyt on BM. She just basically said that common cultural beliefs within the community didn't match up to what she wanted in a mate.

Did she list these "common cultural beliefs"?

 

[#1 pick]

She's West African though...so why the need throw AAs under the bus like this ?

Afric00ns man.

 

[#1 pick]

The article was actually pretty good. She didn't shyt on BM. She just basically said that common cultural beliefs within the community didn't match up to what she wanted in a mate.

What?

 

[#1 pick]

Seen the last name. She's been dismissed from the community. @The Wave @The Odum of Ala Igbo and others, can we officially dismiss her?

 

[poundedyam]

Why these hoes always on are dikks like why don't you just do you If you don't like us so what? Go date who you like and leave us alone

Brother you sound like a woman.
Theres nothing wrong with discussing the issues one faces in their respected communitites.
This is the problem.
Everyone wants to be so emotional lol.

 

[#1 pick]

What WA breh is going to disgrace his family by not only marrying a single mother
but one with a mulatto kid ?

She got the nerves to have a traditional marriage. bytch, you ain't even religious. The shame this broad has brought to my culture. If they seen her in Africa, they would stone her.

 

[#1 pick]

Nothing wrong with what she said. If what she described doesn't apply to you, then it doesn't apply to you. From her experiences she made a decision that she hopes will put her on a path to reach her desires.

I am in the same boat. I only date AA men, but the guys I have met, made me not even want to date anymore and to give up on my hopes of marriage. But I think instead of doing that it is better just for me to reflect and open my options. I am sure if I moved to DC or Houston, my situation would be different, but thats not an option for me.

I am sure there are tons of AA men who feel the same about AA women as pointed out on here, "only marry foreign black women."

Tariq who I know you dislike said it best. Sometimes, due to white supremacy and the pain of it, it's hard to date each other. He cut himself short but I get it. It's impossible especially if you trying to do it for love. I guess being half African, I can marry for love/business but a lot of Black Americans don't have that options these days. Sure, some do but not as many as you would like.

 

[#1 pick]

I would also add there is some confusion amongst half africans and american born africans.

I know alot of 1st generation africans who are single because they didn't date off the boat africans, or black american men, hated white men.(not to mention physical preferences)

Ex. Some of these nigerian-american women are literally looking for other nigerian-american men to marry(from their ethnic group) but imo there's no incentive unless your families know each other.

I know a nigerian american chick who didn't date nigerians from nigeria in her younger days "he's too african" "accent too strong" only likes americanized nigerian-ghanaian-Sierra leonean-americans.

now she 30+ traveling to nigeria. bytch going to church now, fasting and praying for a off the boat nikka to wife her.

But most decent african born men over 30 are married. So she in a fukked up position.

Like sis - thought it was cute to diss off the boat africans, when she was younger now she's smelling pepper.

Edit. Her choices now are basically

1. american born 1 and 2 generation nikkas like me who don't really care about marriage, career is more important
2. black american men who don't care about marriage, career more important
3. white men who are perverts and don't care about marriage. Even when they get married it be on some weirdo shyt.
4. Off the boat african nikkas who marrying for citizenship.

Cause decent 30+ nikkas are in serious relationships and not looking.

You saying that like off the boat nikkas don't come with off the boat mindset and ideals. These might be Africans but they are American born. They ain't gonna put up with African men dominance in the house. Most of them don't function like that. There is a mutual understanding between American AM and AW for the most part. But let's be real, ain't no American AM checking for her. She ugly and on top of that seems hoeish. Her name is tarnish in the community and no one checking for her nor will anyone parents approve of her.

 

[EndDomination]

She’s not AA, so I’m not concerned.
Her op-ed is poor writing, and composed of useless content.

 

[Contrefaire]

That's a stock photo breh.

 

[AintNoCrampInYaMouthTho]

Folks literally got a following on here talking about team foreign or passport gang and if you want a decent wife go outside American women. I know muthafukkas ain't about this shyt. She literally saying what been said on here by easy licks. And that's all she'll be too

 

[Lifejennings]

actually read what happens to average men after they divorce....

example:



Of course not... you live in a post-industrialized country... marriage is for children..... and in a society where you do not need them the need for marriage fades.... i.e. america's 50% divorce rates... even some west african groups have divorce rates hovering around 55% when they live in america...... Look at the rates for wanting to get married for millennials...... both male and female, it isnt there....


Admitting it is one the thing... but there is never a reason given behind it..... ^^^^your types dont dig deep

Finally after minutes of unecessary blabbering the dude in the video got to the point, and it is anecdotal at its core, and not based in reality. Black women seek child support from black men the least of any group despite the fact that they make up the highest amount of single mothers.

I won't even mention alimony which is exceedingly rare.
The divorce rate for those who are in their first marriages is quite a bit lower than 50%. Now you're just arguing semantics. Even with all of those factors black males get married the LEAST of any male group by a very large margin. There are many other factors at play than simply not needing children.

 

[Rawtid]

I think the problem is neither black american men nor women value marriage.
Marrying an african man wont fix the fact that you dont know how to be a wife.
Same ways if you are a black american man,marrying a foreign black woman wont fix the fact that you dont know how to be a good husband.
By all means if you are struggling to find a good black american go foreign but if you aint up to scratch dont bother.

Truth! Which is why the woman in the OP went to therapy to work through her issues. She mentions that in the article.

 

[Scott Larock]

I think the problem is neither black american men nor women value marriage.
Marrying an african man wont fix the fact that you dont know how to be a wife.
Same ways if you are a black american man,marrying a foreign black woman wont fix the fact that you dont know how to be a good husband.
By all means if you are struggling to find a good black american go foreign but if you aint up to scratch dont bother.

Alot of the problem is white supremacy and the fact that we have to "live" and we're judged under the scope of what success is, we're not able to separate ourselves like the older generation did back in the 60s and 70s. We're competing in a much more integrated societya and global world and we have the least to start off with, and with that said I can't knock her stating how she feels the problem is she should really keep it to herself.

I don't mind c00ns cuz we all don't think alike and I agree with Kayne and other c00ns on that thought, my issue is don't speak it in public, keep it in private.

Marriage is gonna be hard for the majority of blacks who aren't middle class or above, in this society we are looked upon as lesser than.

We also can't hind our failure like whites can, why do the south tend to vote red each election? Alabama, Arkansas and so south? tons of pro methed out cacs voting red.

My mom told me to date out lol and I'm a dark-skinned black older male.

We all see how hard it is to meet someone these days, middle aged black women past 30 go through it, broke black men go through it too? Men want young slim chicks who suck dikk like a porn star and cook and clean and is away from the street life, we want a "good girl" that's really not in the game like that.

Women want educated men who aren't dogs, go to church or willing to take care of her kids, we got hard expectations.

 

[JLova]

A lot of AA men aren’t about that married life. They’d rather create families outside of marriage. That goes for the women too. Marriage and education are not as big of a deal as they should be in the black community. There isn’t an easy reason why but we need to look in the mirror and be real with ourselves in order to progress. I see a lot of people in denial.