Men of The Coli, How Long Does It Take For A Man To Know That A Woman Is "TheOne" He Wants To Marry?

[Ziggiy]

From insertion to ejaculation

 

[scarlxrd]

How old were you and why did you rush?

We were both 23, last couple of months of college left. We knew each other for a couple months but never did anything serious. I had a lot of pressure from my pops to "grow up", "be a man" and settle down.
I was half trying to make my pops proud and half just being spontaneous so I began "interviewing" her for the position.

 

[Elle Driver]

I think putting a set time on a decision as impactful as that is counterproductive. Just be with someone. Love someone. Enjoy the time you spend with someone, and don't base your happiness upon the opinions of others. I personally think it's impossible to know within 2-3 years if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, but that's just me.

Agreed. Well said.

 

[sportscribe]

When she had my back when I wasn't shyt.

 

[Throwbacksample]

Its a process. For me, after 3 or 4 dates- I put her in see her around for a while phase because I still have to learn her. After that "around for a while phase"- if she passes I can put her in the marriage phase.

 

[Ness]

There is no such thing as "the one".

U settin urself up for a big ass L if u hopin on a fariy tale type love story happenin to u. fukk u think dis is, a Rachel McAdams movie?

I don't belive in marriage but if you wanna give urself as many chances as possible, focus on findin a persons whose qualities, beliefs, lifestyle and career ideals bounce off and complete urs in way that would allow for as much stability and balance in yall relationship as possible.

Then u stay wit dat person for a lil while to see if they not jus frontin and doze attributes r rly part of who they r to the core. And then u hope for the best.

 

[Lithe]

i can tell within a few encounters if shes wife material to be honest

I can grasp what you're saying. Doesn't mean you're going to be the one to marry her, but that you can see whether or not she possesses traits that would make her a good wife, in general.

I'm the same way with men, and it's saved me so much time/energy/heartache over the years. I can just sense in general if a man would be a good person with whom I'd want a relationship beyond casual conversation and/or a few dates. Then from there, I can tell if he has husband potential for me.

People tell and show each other who they are, all the time. It's up to the individual to decide what's important to them/what their needs are and be honest with themselves and those around them. I'm a 28 year old single female, in the South. Yes it's 2016, but people will still side eye and ask questions if you're not in a serious relationship/married at a certain age. I had the opportunity from one guy, three times, when I was 19-22. I said no. Why? Because he wouldn't have made a good spouse for me. There were core beliefs I would've had to compromise in order to be his wife, and there's no way in hell I could honestly be at peace with myself and build the marriage/home I'd want for my family (children, someday) by living a lie just to say I'm married! No, that's not me. We looked great together, got along for the most part, and it sounded good in theory. In practice, it was another story and it didn't take me more than 6 months to know we could only ever be friends and connect intellectually/creatively. No harm, no foul... he's now happily married, and all is well.

There are just traits that make someone serious relationship material (kindness, honesty, humility, for example) and then there are traits that each person needs from their partner to feel fulfilled. It takes time, and there's levels to this.

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

no set time cause it depends on the type of time you spent with them.

2years of dating isn't the same as 2 years of living together which isn't the same as 2 years of living together and going through say an illness or loss of a job, etc.

Exactly. Never understood why people put a time limit on stuff like that.

 

[Ohene]

I can grasp what you're saying. Doesn't mean you're going to be the one to marry her, but that you can see whether or not she possesses traits that would make her a good wife, in general.

I'm the same way with men, and it's saved me so much time/energy/heartache over the years. I can just sense in general if a man would be a good person with whom I'd want a relationship beyond casual conversation and/or a few dates. Then from there, I can tell if he has husband potential for me.

People tell and show each other who they are, all the time. It's up to the individual to decide what's important to them/what their needs are and be honest with themselves and those around them. I'm a 28 year old single female, in the South. Yes it's 2016, but people will still side eye and ask questions if you're not in a serious relationship/married at a certain age. I had the opportunity from one guy, three times, when I was 19-22. I said no. Why? Because he wouldn't have made a good spouse for me. There were core beliefs I would've had to compromise in order to be his wife, and there's no way in hell I could honestly be at peace with myself and build the marriage/home I'd want for my family (children, someday) by living a lie just to say I'm married! No, that's not me. We looked great together, got along for the most part, and it sounded good in theory. In practice, it was another story and it didn't take me more than 6 months to know we could only ever be friends and connect intellectually/creatively. No Harlem, no foul... he's now happily married, and all is well.

There are just traits that make someone serious relationship material (kindness, honesty, humility, for example) and then there are traits that each person needs from their partner to feel fulfilled. It takes time, and there's levels to this.

exactly.

i dont waste time just dating people waiting for something better to come along or for them to prove themselves. i typically wait until i think they have the traits i look for or whatever to start dating them seriously and going through the experiences necessary to determine whether or not we can last

 

[O.T.I.S.]

I don't think there is a time limit for it...

I believe it's when you miss the person, feel strange not communicating with them, want to spend time with them more than anything else, could see kids and family with them, etc

 

[Lithe]

I also believe that you need to be with someone through the seasons (literally, 4 seasons in a year and figuratively, good and bad seasons--times) to really know who/how they are and how you two work together. It can't be manufactured and rushed. Trying to time stamp it usually doesn't work out too well, either. That's how/why I know plenty of people on second marriages/divorced and angry/single parents/step parents and we aren't even 30 yet.

 

[Diondon]

At least a few years following the natural, traditional progression of a relationship

 

[Lithe]

exactly.

i dont waste time just dating people waiting for something better to come along or for them to prove themselves. i typically wait until i think they have the traits i look for or whatever to start dating them seriously and going through the experiences necessary to determine whether or not we can last

That's how I am, too! All my people know if I'm seriously talking about a guy/investing my time, it's because he's genuinely worth it to/for me. I attribute this to having had a strong male figure in my life (my dad) who taught me my self worth and not to let it be contingent on who does/doesn't like me. Don't even think about equating my worth with whether or not I'm in a relationship, but to become a woman of integrity, grace, and spread love. The right man will appreciate it one day, and will accept, respect, protect me and then that's when I should be thinking about building with him.

All the dating/talking/getting to know him is seeing how/where he will fit into my life. I have some male friends who will only ever be acquaintances abd that's ok. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong, they're just not for me. I know I'm also seen that way from men, and that's okay! The right one will come at the right time. Just keep it authentic and stay true to yourself/your needs.

 

[Ness]

The whole concept of marriage is fukking retarded. I mean back then, it made sense and people had legetimate incentives to do it. But then again it was contract based or for religious reasons. It wasn't outta love cuz love was never a real reason to marry someone. Das jus being stupid.

I don't kno if there was ever a time in history where ppl voluntarily stuck with one person for their entire life... for no fukkin reason.

 

[EndDomination]

She becomes a candidate to be the one after she says she has no kids.

This is always the start.
You should know if she's "the one" after the first few dates. It should be fairly easy to run through all the "deal-breakers" within the first month of knowing someone.
Does she have a career, does she have any STDs, does she have a drug/alcohol/gambling problem, does she workout and does she eat healthy, is she with you on the political spectrum, is she prone to violence, does she have any mental conditions, does she have family issues, does she have constructive hobbies, does she know what's going on in the world, do you share interests.
Once you get past all of that, keep an eye out the rest of the year to make sure she's faithful.
You should know after those 9-12 months whether or not you're getting an engagement ring and moving in together, or not.