One week ago (although what now seems like an eternity), I met a man while I was working. I had seen him around before and we had exchanged the odd glance or smile, but I didn't think much of it.
He approached me and started talking to me. He told me he is in a band and asked me if I would be interested in catching a show. Feeling an incredible spark between us, I said "I probably shouldn't. I'd like to, but I shouldn't..." He got the picture and figured out I was already taken.
Not long afterwards he again approached me and said "Look, I don't want to intrude but if you change your mind and ever want to come and see a show, here's my number".
I know I should have thrown it away then and there but I didn't. I sent him a text the following day saying how nice it was to meet him and thanking him again for the kind invitation. He launched straight into talking about the electricity he felt when he met me, and that he believed I felt it too. I did, but I was in total denial. I didn't want to.
After a few days I decided to set him straight. I asked him to meet me for lunch so I could tell him face to face that yes, ok, there is something between us but I'm in a relationship so please respect that. I did tell him that. But the remainder of the lunch ended up being one of the best days I've ever had. We talked about books and music, science and movies. Our common interests are incredible. I found myself not being able to wait to see him again.
I've been with my fellow as I said for 10 years. I was very young when I met him (21) and he is much older (he was 38 when we met - 17 years my senior) and I was going through a hard time. He was the only one there for me. I have always been grateful to be with such a good man. After 10 years he still loves me very very much and treats me well.
However, I am lonely. We have no sex life (he is very overweight and as much as he promises me it will change and I try to help him change it, it never does) and I'm sorry if it makes me an awful person but I am not attracted to him so the frequent sex stopped long ago. So have so many outings (e.g. beach) because he's embarrassed. We spend our evenings in separate rooms (him on the computer in our bedroom selling things on eBay, me in the living room watching tv or reading) before going to bed at night. He also has a tendency to be aggressive (verbally) sometimes which leaves me literally shaking.
The feelings I have for this new man go beyond the physical. I know it sounds insane but there is something real there. He has not been harassing me or pushing me. I have tried this week to push the feelings I'm having down to my toes and walk all over them until they turn to dust but I can't seem to. I'm not sleeping or eating properly. The guilt of feeling this way is consuming me.
My current partner and I bought a property together just 9 months ago, signing a 30 year mortgage. It couldn't be worse timing.
I didn't plan this. I didn't expect to feel this way and in the 10 years we've been together I have never even come close to anything like this. I've always been faithful and loyal but I feel like I can't turn my back on this. What would you do?
and she feel soo sofftttt.
