Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Mr Hate Coffee]

I'll update folks on the story later but in the meantime...

Do you guys have any tips for staying emotionally grounded with women? Like I know it's not a popular thing to ask but fukk it, none of us are perfect. I'd honestly consider myself in the bottom 5% of the population when it comes to being emotional, feeling emotion, or showing emotion. But every now and then I lapse and it's usually then when I make a mistake or when a woman gets the best of me.

So how do y'all do it? I'm particularly interested in what @kevm3 has to say cuz dude is a zen master.

For context, the reason I thought about this is.... after the latest fallout with a chick I started thinking about a girl I used to date a few years back. Then I thought about how nice she was and then I thought that maybe I should send her a sweet text or email.

AND THEN I SNAPPED BACK TO MY SENSES

was wrong with me? fukk it, I'm willing to take tips if anybody got em. We can all get better at some things. I will say that I've found that staying busy and having a mission in life helps. When I'm focused I don't get caught up in fukkery.

...but when I'm not.

 

[kevm3]

I'll update folks on the story later but in the meantime...

Do you guys have any tips for staying emotionally grounded with women? Like I know it's not a popular thing to ask but fukk it, none of us are perfect. I'd honestly consider myself in the bottom 5% of the population when it comes to being emotional, feeling emotion, or showing emotion. But every now and then I lapse and it's usually then when I make a mistake or when a woman gets the best of me.

So how do y'all do it? I'm particularly interested in what @kevm3 has to say cuz dude is a zen master.

For context, the reason I thought about this is.... after the latest fallout with a chick I started thinking about a girl I used to date a few years back. Then I thought about how nice she was and then I thought that maybe I should send her a sweet text or email.

AND THEN I SNAPPED BACK TO MY SENSES

was wrong with me? fukk it, I'm willing to take tips if anybody got em. We can all get better at some things. I will say that I've found that staying busy and having a mission in life helps. When I'm focused I don't get caught up in fukkery.

...but when I'm not.

I'm sure the fellas will give you a lot of great answers. My personal opinion is that you simply have to focus on spending time building yourself and in putting women on the backburner. it's very easy to get caught up in a cycle where you feel you MUST always be in the presence of a woman. Just like anything else, that's called an addiction.

I have a feeling that the last interaction with a woman you are with didn't end up particularly well and you considered jumping to another woman in order to cover up the pain. In reality, entering into another relationship or interaction on those terms will only cause more drama and pain.

You simply have to isolate yourself for a while and find grounding. You may not be religious, so I can't speak for you. What grounds me is Jesus, and here is one recognition that came to me.

Men and women ARE meant to be together and the Bible says it is not good to be alone. However, when we interact with women, we must enter into our dealings with them under the right context, or else all we will do is create voids within our souls and drama within our lives. The ultimate problem is that men and women are entering into relationships in the lens of lust and expecting that to turn into love. Sure, it will be satisfying for a short time, but soon we will feel empty. Why? Because the heart is a vessel that can only contain love. Lust will not fill it. In other words, I'm telling you that you can flit from female to female only to go on in the same cycle of temporary satisfaction and then emptiness again by approaching relationships from the perspective of lust.

You have to clear yourself and stand by yourself and reflect within until you are solidly grounded and are able to approach a relationship with the idea of love as the first and foremost concern. What do you do until you find that quality female that you can share a relationship of love with? Me personally, I'd recommend focusing on getting right with Jesus, getting your financial life in order, enjoying times with friends and family and just enjoying the beauty that life provides. You have to learn to find joy without the presence of a woman so that you do not become dependent on women for your joy, as dependence fosters a weakness. Your happiness has to exist outside of the realm of a woman. She should not be the source of your happiness, only one that enhances what is already there.

 

[kevm3]

You know what was amazing? That feeling of uninhibited love when you were a kid. You seen this beautiful girl, you felt warm inside, and you felt the world about her. The feeling of love is infinitely more powerful than lust. However, we live in a time of complete selfishness, so what ends up happening is that we've fallen in love with someone who didn't honor and respect our love and the pain was immense. Over time, we allowed our hearts to grow calloused to protect us from that pain of having a loving heart.

Matthew 24:12
English Standard Version
And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold.

Let's be honest. We're living in a time when obeying the lusts of your flesh is elevated above all. The prostitute is put above the virgin and yet confusion abounds as to why there is no real joy in these interactions between man and woman. Lust only satisfies your body, but not your heart. This is why I will not talk about 'techniques' on procuring woman. You will only end up in an endless cycle of short-term pleasure and the resulting emptiness and the void will grow larger. Sleeping with a ton of women is only something that will do a shoddy job of covering up the lack of love that is present in today's environment.

Here's one thing that we must get straight. Emotions are NOT a bad thing. As a man, you should have emotions, but as a man, you must never let your emotions CONTROL you. Now here is the main issue that we are facing. We are in a time to where many of us men feel as if we must almost shut off our emotions because we know that those who we show love to will likely disappoint us, causing us immense pain. How sad that is that we have to shut off love, only to be replaced by the shallow pleasure of immediate lust.

We are simply living in a time where most men are lying to themselves or are so utterly confused that they believe that the feeling of love and of having emotion for another is a weakness to be eradicated. Such an attitude ultimately creates a hollow existence, where we flit from woman to woman, looking for something that we never seem to find.

Now what is the purpose of all of this? If we do not change our spiritual attitudes, we can talk about techniques all day long and secret philosophies to procure women, but it all ultimately be futile because you will never truly experience the satisfaction you are seeking. In other words, if you seek to deal with a woman only out of lust and her physical beauty, to impress others, to cover up pain from a previous relationship or to hide a security or because of any other reason than love, it will end in disappointment.

It will only leave a void in your heart after it is said and done and truly, how can you lay down with a snake and not be bitten? Our problems as men is that we lay down with or hang around snakes, get bitten and the venom of scandalous women poisons our mind. This poison causes us to become callous and to avoid love, thinking it is 'corny' or weak, when in reality, love is the strongest emotion. So this is why I will recommend a man to take time after one relationship to recenter himself and to put himself in the frame of a man seeking a woman out of love and not out of lust or to hide pain. Looking for women for any other cause will only cause more pain and emptiness down the line.

 

[Lo-Co]

i feel you. I only have an issue if the female is in a group. if im drinking or high as hell im good going up dolo though

"what up"

its the solo approach for me. group conversations are my crutch honestly. just the dead silence of the one on one conversation fukks my head up. being socially awkward sucks. its more to me when people get to actually know me. my exterior is hard to excavate.

 

[MikelArteta]

I'll update folks on the story later but in the meantime...

Do you guys have any tips for staying emotionally grounded with women? Like I know it's not a popular thing to ask but fukk it, none of us are perfect. I'd honestly consider myself in the bottom 5% of the population when it comes to being emotional, feeling emotion, or showing emotion. But every now and then I lapse and it's usually then when I make a mistake or when a woman gets the best of me.

So how do y'all do it? I'm particularly interested in what @kevm3 has to say cuz dude is a zen master.

For context, the reason I thought about this is.... after the latest fallout with a chick I started thinking about a girl I used to date a few years back. Then I thought about how nice she was and then I thought that maybe I should send her a sweet text or email.

AND THEN I SNAPPED BACK TO MY SENSES

was wrong with me? fukk it, I'm willing to take tips if anybody got em. We can all get better at some things. I will say that I've found that staying busy and having a mission in life helps. When I'm focused I don't get caught up in fukkery.

...but when I'm not.

One thing I found helped was to remind myself that I did my best, I was kind, considerate and genuine. My heart was in the right place. I had integrity.Once you remind yourself of your sincerity, you realise that you did the right thing, just because someone may have used your kindness, or played you for a fool doesn't mean you took a loss so to speak. That's all you need, trust in your own judgement

Sometimes our past experiences form like a thick barrier or say a shield over us, and after holding it up for so long when you let it down you get screwed over again and then you angry and frustrated. I was there before then I got to a point where I just got tired of letting my pride, experience, and reason dictate what risks I take. Without risks rarely where they be rewards. Without risks I'd still be stuck in the stagnant environment of the past, without risks my heart would still be cold, without risks I'd never be able to see the world, without risks I'd never find fulfilment. Whatever good or whatever bad happens, never mope over the what was...instead focus on the "what could be's" in life!

So just take your time, focus on where you need to improve, your coping mechanisms, conflict resolution, issues, you see and know your patterns, and you work on having healthier ones. And you don't look for a fantasy, you don't look to be saved or to save anyone, and you are grown up to know "happily ever after" only exists in stories because stories end. And your life doesn't at that moment. So there is a "then after", there is the mundane of life, and the day to day irritations. And you know that is when one works on self.

Something I learned on my journey is that the sooner you identify your fears, face up to them, and get them out of the way, the better. Life is much better once the fear has been dealt with.

 

[The ADD]

I'll update folks on the story later but in the meantime...

Do you guys have any tips for staying emotionally grounded with women? Like I know it's not a popular thing to ask but fukk it, none of us are perfect. I'd honestly consider myself in the bottom 5% of the population when it comes to being emotional, feeling emotion, or showing emotion. But every now and then I lapse and it's usually then when I make a mistake or when a woman gets the best of me.

So how do y'all do it? I'm particularly interested in what @kevm3 has to say cuz dude is a zen master.

For context, the reason I thought about this is.... after the latest fallout with a chick I started thinking about a girl I used to date a few years back. Then I thought about how nice she was and then I thought that maybe I should send her a sweet text or email.

AND THEN I SNAPPED BACK TO MY SENSES

was wrong with me? fukk it, I'm willing to take tips if anybody got em. We can all get better at some things. I will say that I've found that staying busy and having a mission in life helps. When I'm focused I don't get caught up in fukkery.

...but when I'm not.

Fam,

Don't turn being a human off. Having those thoughts aren't a problem because you found clarity and didn't do it.

Just my $.02

 

[Mordith]

breh breh

the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do and u did the right thing right there breh
i was in similar situation years ago kinda like u
she had it all even money talking bout millionaire no lie
the problem was i was just too young in my mind to stay faithful to her even tho we were together. i wanted to be with her wanted to wife i knew i wanted too but the other part of me belong to the game i wanted to have fun and enjoy more women and when i realized that and i knew if i stayed with her i would cheat i talked to her and we broke up
it hurt her so bad that one of her female friends told me she relocated to a diff city
i felt so bad and hurt but knew deep down it was the right thing to do and it was cuz after i got my shyt and emotions in check after break up i was wildin out and having fun with no regrets and no ties to any females

Aren't you the same dude who posted about marrying a hood rat, divorcing said hoodrat and having custody of your kids? If so that karma....

 

[twan83]

Aren't you the same dude who posted about marrying a hood rat, divorcing said hoodrat and having custody of your kids? If so that karma....

huh
as much as i cant stand my baby mother she wasn't a hood rat tho breh. just wasn't shyt 2 different things

would that even be karma for starters
this happened before i even had kids or even met her. also i said i was just not ready for a committed relationship for this female and felt like playing the field for a longer time so i decided to call it off and not cheat on her. even tho she was the right type of female to marry if i did i knew i wouldnt be faithful

so that makes no sense how that would be karma at all that would require for me to do dirt to this female and then the dirt to happen which nothing happened too me with any female before the female i had kids with to cause any karma

 

[Mordith]

huh
as much as i cant stand my baby mother she wasn't a hood rat tho breh. just wasn't shyt 2 different things

would that even be karma for starters
this happened before i even had kids or even met her. also i said i was just not ready for a committed relationship for this female and felt like playing the field for a longer time so i decided to call it off and not cheat on her. even tho she was the right type of female to marry if i did i knew i wouldnt be faithful

so that makes no sense how that would be karma at all that would require for me to do dirt to this female and then the dirt to happen which nothing happened too me with any female before the female i had kids with to cause any karma

Symantics. This isn't an attack breh, I'm merely pointing out how the energy one puts out into the universe has a way of coming back to us in some shape or form.

 

[twan83]

Symantics. This isn't an attack breh, I'm merely pointing out how the energy one puts out into the universe has a way of coming back to us in some shape or form.

oh ok i gotcha then i can see ur point interesting

 

[SirShaktus]

Sorry to break the train of thought the thread is heading towards, but I wanted to share my experiences with women while I was overseas.

Was in Romania for work a few years back, and was taking care of some issue with my boy... He introduced me to his (female) cousin and we start talking... Just about stuff. Different cultures, different foods to try in our respective countries...
In the middle of the conversation, she stops talking, flashes this big smile (a big, BIG thing for Eastern Europeans), and says "I like you. I hope I can talk to you more while you are here."

I was like for a minute.

It took my ex-gf two fukking months to tell me she liked me.
All but two of my female friends/acquaintances haven't told me they like hanging out with me.
It took this Romanian girl a half hour car ride and a walkthrough in the mall to tell me she liked me.


And the last girl I took on a (coffee) date couldn't hold a conversation to save her life and her hobbies were wine and Netflix queues. But at least she was pretty, right?



And when was in Japan this summer for this basketball tour thing, one of the OLs ('office ladies,' essentially a 9 to 5 worker at a regular job) of the hosting team became our unofficial guide through the city (Osaka). She went above and beyond the call of duty for all of us.
Would buy us food and drinks while in our hotels (with her own money), would help those who couldn't speak Japanese order their food in restaurants, and invited her other female friends spoke English to the games and events just because.

She even saw us off at the airport and was all misty eyed because she was gonna miss us so bad.

I couldn't even get a ride from the airport from my supposed homegirl who
-owed me a favor
-picked her up from the airport months ago
-lives 3 minutes away from me, and live 10 minutes away from the airport
-was gonna either spot her gas money or buy her some food as thanks.

*not even gonna acknowledge her ass when she hits me up, bushes status *




Just wanted to share this with the brehs and let you all know that how females in the West 'treat' you as a you is not how the rest of the world's women will treat you. Travel to find that out yourself, as well as seeing the world for its own sake.

I'm out.

 

[MikelArteta]

Sorry to break the train of thought the thread is heading towards, but I wanted to share my experiences with women while I was overseas.

Was in Romania for work a few years back, and was taking care of some issue with my boy... He introduced me to his (female) cousin and we start talking... Just about stuff. Different cultures, different foods to try in our respective countries...
In the middle of the conversation, she stops talking, flashes this big smile (a big, BIG thing for Eastern Europeans), and says "I like you. I hope I can talk to you more while you are here."

I was like for a minute.

It took my ex-gf two fukking months to tell me she liked me.
All but two of my female friends/acquaintances haven't told me they like hanging out with me.
It took this Romanian girl a half hour car ride and a walkthrough in the mall to tell me she liked me.


And the last girl I took on a (coffee) date couldn't hold a conversation to save her life and her hobbies were wine and Netflix queues. But at least she was pretty, right?



And when was in Japan this summer for this basketball tour thing, one of the OLs ('office ladies,' essentially a 9 to 5 worker at a regular job) of the hosting team became our unofficial guide through the city (Osaka). She went above and beyond the call of duty for all of us.
Would buy us food and drinks while in our hotels (with her own money, would help those who couldn't speak Japanese order their food in restaurants, and invited her other female friends spoke English to the games and events just because.

She even saw us off at the airport and was all misty eyed because she was gonna miss us so bad.

I couldn't even get a ride from the airport from my supposed homegirl who
-owed me a favor
-picked her up from the airport months ago
-lives 3 minutes away from me, and live 10 minutes away from the airport
-was gonna either spot her gas money or buy her some food as thanks.

*not even gonna acknowledge her ass when she hits me up, bushes status *




Just wanted to share this with the brehs and let you all know that how females in the West 'treat' you as a you is not how the rest of the world's women will treat you. Travel to find that out yourself, as well as seeing the world for its own sake.

I'm out.

the one thing I always say here is to TRAVEL. It's amazng when you travel and women act totally different to you, smiling at you, being "aggressive' not afraid, that hot women are walking up and down teh street and there aint thirsty dudes left and right. It's just amazing.

and romania is great man, ive been to constanta. Romania has the hottest white women to me in the world.

 

[twan83]

Sorry to break the train of thought the thread is heading towards, but I wanted to share my experiences with women while I was overseas.

Was in Romania for work a few years back, and was taking care of some issue with my boy... He introduced me to his (female) cousin and we start talking... Just about stuff. Different cultures, different foods to try in our respective countries...
In the middle of the conversation, she stops talking, flashes this big smile (a big, BIG thing for Eastern Europeans), and says "I like you. I hope I can talk to you more while you are here."

I was like for a minute.

It took my ex-gf two fukking months to tell me she liked me.
All but two of my female friends/acquaintances haven't told me they like hanging out with me.
It took this Romanian girl a half hour car ride and a walkthrough in the mall to tell me she liked me.


And the last girl I took on a (coffee) date couldn't hold a conversation to save her life and her hobbies were wine and Netflix queues. But at least she was pretty, right?



And when was in Japan this summer for this basketball tour thing, one of the OLs ('office ladies,' essentially a 9 to 5 worker at a regular job) of the hosting team became our unofficial guide through the city (Osaka). She went above and beyond the call of duty for all of us.
Would buy us food and drinks while in our hotels (with her own money, would help those who couldn't speak Japanese order their food in restaurants, and invited her other female friends spoke English to the games and events just because.

She even saw us off at the airport and was all misty eyed because she was gonna miss us so bad.

I couldn't even get a ride from the airport from my supposed homegirl who
-owed me a favor
-picked her up from the airport months ago
-lives 3 minutes away from me, and live 10 minutes away from the airport
-was gonna either spot her gas money or buy her some food as thanks.

*not even gonna acknowledge her ass when she hits me up, bushes status *




Just wanted to share this with the brehs and let you all know that how females in the West 'treat' you as a you is not how the rest of the world's women will treat you. Travel to find that out yourself, as well as seeing the world for its own sake.

I'm out.

oh trust i know japan ah too well
was stationed there for 2 years
3 years in italy
and several weeks in germany

overseas women outlook on men are on another level its so
they straight to the point and treat u like a damn king and make u feel so damn appreciated and are so fukking sexy
now i aint saying u cant find it here in the states its just way more harder and not as likely

 

[MikelArteta]

man the way y'all talking about japan i need to go there next

whats the bst spot to go
tokyo?

id be alone

 

[DaRealness]

http://www.worldstaruncut.com/uncut/79806

Now, I'm far from a simp or captain save a hoe, but I would have helped the woman in the video by giving her a jacket or something unlike these scumbag b*stards in the video.

HOWEVER, is this not a shining example of the kind of good for nothings a lot of these chicks go for over the so called "corny" or quiet dudes with supposedly "no swag"? A good dude wouldn't treat a female like that, but when they continue to chase after these kind of cats, what do they expect? I'm not one of these whiny boys on the coli, but some of them do have a point at times.