Few things to tackle, but more importantly, toxic masculinity* is what got us here. Inventors, fighters, war, etc. All toxic in their own right, paved the way for some the greatest (and most annoyingly comfortable) eras known to man. So "toxic" should be used loosely...testosterone being what it is and all. Secondly toxic femininity exists, passive aggressive behavior, instigating, playing victim, manipulation, etc. This is a dance, and both parties/sex play it, except one does more with their "trait" than the other.
Thirdly, its a misnomer and flat out erroneous statement, that our society is patriarchal. Women who believe this can't show us evidence, and men who believe this, ignore commonly addressed issues like the particulars of suffrage, and how many women didn't want to vote and or go to war on their own volition. Basically, cherry picking history, doesn't mean our existence is that of a patriarch. Men are seen as "Player 1" because they bother to pick up the controller, and learn every aspect of the game, women do not. Plenty of chess communities....very little female players and or champions.
And now to the hard pill to swallow....women are just as shallow as men if not more so. Being the gatekeepers of sex, and the "fairer" sex, they're given a soapbox to spew their benign beliefs. While ignoring actual facts. They're also just as toxic, and want toxic men in their lives. That's why you can always meet a woman who has been beat, or had a shytty long-running relationship. Because as much as they bemoan and lament that existence.....the lady doth protests too much, and that victim curtain is ripped away. They're sick children in need of excitment via getting treated like garbage. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women with degrees and full blown careers, say some of the most ho-ist shyt ever. From wanting to strip/dance, to wanting to do porn.
You don't need to read feminist theory to understand their perspective. Its quite simple. Women don't know what they want, but they know what they like. See this in all things, and you'll understand their "way".