Brehs, how much effort do you expect from a chick when you first start out (first 2 weeks) as far as initiating conversations through text, calling you, planning dates (or atleast assisting in planning), etc,.
I get where you're coming from, especially in the early stages.
You can always play the patriarch, play it hard. And pretend that you don't notice her lack of participation. Just make all the decisions, and she BET NOT SAY A DAMN THING.
But the real problem is that you don't feel comfortable talking to a chick about some
realness.
If you bring this up with the broad, she's gonna get defensive, feel some type of way, withdraw, and you're going to lose her. That's your thought process. That was my thought process.
You can't lose a chick that you don't actually have.
If she's not behaving in the way that you expect, that YOU think is normal - you don't have her. She can obviously roll out whenever she wants, but if she's in your presence, under your protection, and you aren't getting the type of relationship that you want - what's the point?
A big part of being with a chick is "socializing" her for lack of a better term. She gotta learn how to be your girlfriend, the way you gotta learn to be her boyfriend. And later on that's husband and wife, mother and father, and role model of what a healthy relationship looks like to your kids and kin.
She's doing it to you. She's gonna make you pick up your socks or whatever thing you do that she doesn't like.
You need to do it to her.
You need to be doing the same, from the start, intentionally.
You have unsaid expectations about her and about the relationship.
You need to say those expectations, out loud, to her.
Both sides operate with this idea that the other side should "know".
You should know what to say, and not say. You should know what to do, and not do.
She should as well.
That's the mentality from both sides.
Broads got a saying, "If he wanted to, he would" - when they talk about how men don't meet their invisible expectations.
Nothing is further from the truth.
There is no "common" sense when it comes to these things. You gotta establish what needs to happen.
I didn't know this when I was young. I have had to lose more than a few long term relationships as a result.
And setting expectations means, that if you don't meet hers, and she doesn't meet yours - then the relationship should end. Better to find out now, than later on.
And if you're pull game is not strong enough to replace a chick that can't communicate - then you shouldn't be in a relationship.
Had a broad that would let her toe nails grow into talons. My Calf muscles and shins was getting damaged when we lay in the bed. She had a fragile ego from the start. So I would tiptoe around sensitive topics. In this case, I had to say that I liked pedicures - but what I should have said is that them long claws was not only unattractive, but painful.
I might have won the battle by being smooth, but lost the war.
I'd been navigating all of her BS for months.
Hundreds of notches and afraid to lose this chick? SMH.
Learn from my mistakes.
