Let me take a brief moment and rap to you a story we will call 'the dream'.
Maybe you are sitting in your college classroom or you are at Barnes and Noble. Maybe you are in the grocery store somewhere... but one fateful day, you come across this mysterious woman who gives you a seductive stare. You return the glance and find that who you can't keep your eyes off of her. She is gorgeous! Immediately, you make it up in your mind that you absolutely must have her. It takes a while, but you muster up enough courage to start a conversation with her because you certainly cannot let her pass you by. Expecting rejection or perhaps a cold, disinterested response, you are pleasantly surprised when you receive a greeting that is anything but. Her conversation is, in fact, smooth and intoxicating like aged wine and you become lost in the combination of her beauty and her company. You take down her number to keep in contact with her.
A few months pass and each day is sweeter than the last. How could you have missed her? Where was she your whole life? She is THE undiscovered diamond among the pile of coal, and YOU'VE found her! A huge smile plasters itself on your face. After all of this time, you've discovered the one you've been looking for your whole life. Yes, your heart is blanketed in the joy of having this beauty grace your life. You and your newfound love start spending countless moments together and you hope that it never ends... but alas, unlike fairy tales, happy endings are not guaranteed.
One day, out of the thin blue, something starts to irk you. Something has changed, but you can't quite tell what it is. Your senses pick up on it but your rational mind paves it over with whatever reasons if can muster to preserve your lovely fantasy. She starts to act a little colder and she becomes more distant. She is more argumentative... but you push it off as your mind playing tricks on you and decide to press on.
Then, as sand continues to drip down the hourglass of your life, you notice that the trend of behavior is not reversing! The distance and isolation continues. To your dismay, it starts to become so noticeable that you can no longer ignore it. What was once a day or two away from your company turns into a week. Wanting to preserve your wonderful union, you rush to her and attempt to fix the leak in the ship of your love. You ask her, "Where have you been? Is there something wrong?" In return, she pleasantly, but flatly replies," School has been SO busy. Life has been SO hectic. I'm so sorry that I've been busy." Your perplexed attitude then shifts to one of relief because she has soothed your doubts. Your rational mind accepts her excuses and it quickly paves over reality with your desire to keep the dream alive. A big smile spreads across your face and you mutter to yourself, "Well my baby is just staying on top of her future. I'm proud of her!"
Things are lovely for another couple of weeks and all has returned to normal... You are content for a while... but once again, out of nowhere, the cycle of isolation and distance returns, this time more prominent than ever. You ask her, "What's been going on?" You are again presented with the same excuses of how busy she is and how school has overcome her. You don't press her further, but you aren't quite so quick to believe this time around. Still, not wanting to break this lovely union, you eventually take her at her word and once again fall into a state of contentment.
As the relationship continues, the distance game happens on and off, but you don't want the fantasy to disappear, so you continue to accept her company. You don't want to lose all of the time you've invested with her and you reason to yourself that you will never find a woman so lovely again, so you have to hold on by any means necessary. You WILL find a way to work it out, you think to yourself. Still, no matter how hard you try to reason, there is some strange thorn that keeps pricking you, telling you something isn't right. You wonder how someone that loves you so much could be so busy as not to contact you for weeks. In this age of communication, you wonder how she couldn't take 5 seconds out of her schedule to say, "Hey, how are you doing?"
Eventually, the curiosity in your mind about your 'perfect union' becomes stronger and stronger. It can no longer be satiated by the excuses your mind attempts to feed it. The urge has become so strong that you start to do some investigating. You quietly look on her facebook or instagram and you see your sweet darling in the club in the presence of several different men! You look at the time period and it is during those times she told you she was busy. How could this be? How could such a sweetheart be doing such things? Your diamond of a companion suddenly lose all of her luster as your mind races to the realization that you were but one of many men she was dealing with. In an instant, the dream shatters into an array of sharp fragments, each shard slicing your very soul. You sit in disbelief wondering how reality could be so cruel...
Ahh yes, the common tale of the man who buys a dream, but when dreams and reality do not converge, a broken heart lays in its wake. This, my friend, is a call to avoid crafting fantasies in your mind and paving over reality with them. It is much better to accept an ugly reality than to build on a pretty fantasy. The man who buys a dream from a woman and builds his life around such an ethereal substance will end up facing the harsh reality that eventually, we indeed must all wake up.
, life is really sooo much better to just cold cut the drama, stress, financial burden, mind games, attacks on masculinity, attacks on self-worth, jealously....(you get the picture)
Trust me on this tho. When your girl initially calls or text you at any given time, instead of saying "yes"..."yea" ..."what up"...say "(insert name) You have my attention". It dont matter how long you take to respond to her text it wont matter because that statement lets her know its all about her
Hey you
Ms Speight, you have my attention
I'll give it a try in the near future
