@Brandeezy
I wrote this with you in mind
I believe the way you view yourself and the way you converse about yourself if in a negative light, will impede your success and treasures that are stored up for you. Growing up as a young kid I had a speech impediment, words that began with certain letters I struggled immensely to even enunciate, in essence this just made me withdrawal into a coc00n and become an incalculable unobtrusive individual. On top of that I was a skinny kid with glasses, in my eyes I might as well have been a mute hunchback the way I viewed myself. I would just look in the mirror and just see a big nose on a big head on a wiry stick figure with a soft voice and a vocabulary that would always be made fun off. Of course my wonderful gracious mother would always say I’m handsome but I was her offspring and would always be viewed marvellously. Anyways grabs remote and presses Fast Forward through the thinking myself as a skinny low self esteem chapter >>>>>
There came a moment when I was shackled in a group project with two other females who I shall call J and A, soon I was acquaintance-zoned as we met up for the next month as I worked away, listening inquisitively as they gossiped about the latest hearsay. I guess I became somewhat of a male ``she`s all that``, as I took my glasses off and was told ``hey your kind of cute``. These were the ancient days when bulky digital cameras with low megapixels were expensive, but J had one and decided to snap away at me. Unbeknownst to me at the time, J and A created a profile for me at a social media site that shall remain nameless and uploaded my pictures, to this day I have no idea why.
Days later I was told the news and as well that my profile was Top 10 on the site and my inbox was filled with messages of approbation, I was flabbergasted. I received the login credentials and totally took over as I string off a list of analogies. The pauper was now the king, the loser was now the winner, and the boy who ate gruel daily was now eating steak and lobster. This new found fame along with me moving to an upscale community, plucking contacts in my eye and starting a new school, I was literally on cloud nine. Imagine being 17 and a legit model signed to a agency who lived in a different city and had every guy chasing after her thinking you are the sexiest man she has ever laid her eyes on that was me, I won`t perjure myself but I reveled in the attention. My little flip phone that could was bursting at the seams with contacts, phone calls and text messages. Best friends getting into quarrels over me, stalkers, being chased and never having to do the chasing, and an MSN Messenger list exceeded capacity that I needed a second one. The sad part though is that I should not have needed this entire gamut of outpouring praise to view myself in a positive light, because NOTHING ABOUT ME CHANGED except my confidence. I was still skinny, shy, my voice was still soft, just that the words I spoke were no longer negative; I looked at my reflection and saw something that could be admired. So you may look in the mirror and have negative thoughts – I`m too skinny, I hate my nose, I`m too fat, but these negative thoughts and utterances have to be destroyed. There is power in the tongue and in your thoughts, I`m not saying it`s an easy thing to overcome but nothing is impossible. I still have instances of feeling inadequate or not up to par but they quickly evaporate, I have written my own story in life and it has successes and failures, but still I rise and overcome. I have been to the top of the hierarchy, and while my popular zenith days have eroded even sometimes to the point where some days it`s only my mother texting me I`m fine and content with simplicity. And from being at the bottom and at the top, all I can say is look deep within yourself and never see yourself as a failure, worthless, ugly the only thing stopping yourself is you and the power of your mind and thoughts.
She just stayed on her phone
was it an important phone call or something or she didnt even ackknowledge you at all?
