Real talk, we're going to discuss sheets here:
Sheets are
really fukking important. You don't wanna bring a girl back to the spot and have her realize that you're still rockin' Batman mattress covers. Good sheets make you look sophisticated and the sensation of a high quality sheets will work as an aphrodisiac and improve your overall sexual experience. There are things to consider when shopping sheets.
"Higher thread count" is usually what makes you go ooooh that's nice let's spend a lot of money on those good quality sheets, right?
And egyptian cotton is a good thing because it means that the threads are woven from longer strands of cotton, which makes the sheets softer and heavenly.
So, egyptian cotton and high thread counts have become buzz words that get people to spend more money on sheets.
But "egyptian cotton" is not a regulated term. The cotton could be egyptian cotton of low (short) quality that's been twined together to create the longer "egyptian" length. This is bullshyt.
So you should look for packaging that specifies that the cotton is "long staple", because that's what makes sheets soft and snuggle-rific... Short staple woven together to create "long staple" actually makes sheets rough.
So that's thing
#1 to look for. Long staple egyptian cotton.
On to thread count! Lying manufacturers falsely "meet the criteria" of a high thread count by:
1) Having more than one ply... that means more than one sheet woven on top of another. This creates weight and not the quality of sheets that you would expect for that thread count. Example. You could pay for 900ct sheets, but really be getting three sheets with 300ct woven on top of each other. Good for toilet paper and your ass, bad for creating a cloud like bed.
Lesson: look for the words "single ply". This means you'll actually getting the thread count you pay for.
2) Many a$$holes inflate thread count: they add extra little fibers in the weft (the horizontal threads in the weaving process). These do nothing but enhance thread count. They can actually be kind of itchy.
Lesson: if you see a thread count of over 800, the manufacturer is most likely using one of these ploys (saying Egyptian when it's really short staple, having more than one ply, or inserting fibers in the weft) to increase their "thread count".
Good sheets are expensive. If you see a sheet set that seems really awesome, and it's non sale price is cheap, that's not a good sign.
Linens typically go on sale in January.
Do not use fabric softener. Your sheets are above this. Wash in cold water. Then dry on the lowest heat setting. When the sheets are the tiniest bit damp, switch to no heat tumble dry motherfukker! Tumble those bytches until they're dry! I know they won't come out all toasty, but they'll be soft. And that is what matters. That is what matters.
Again, this is important because of physical sensation for the girl and the air of sophistication that comes from having premium items in your home. The answer is always in the
details.
