VENTING POST:
....I REALLY need to get out more.
Females left a bad taste in my mouth from a young age. All the games, disrespect took a toll on my mental health. It got to the point where most of the time I don't even want to be bothered, because it will probably turn out to be a waste of time. It's not that I hate women, I'm just tired of being disappointed and frustrated...
However, i still have the strong natural longing for female attention. It's kind of like your body is wanting to jump off a cliff, but your brain is the only thing stopping you from doing it, if that makes sense.
I can count on both hands the number of females I've ever tried anything with (dating, sex, etc)....I'm 33 years old...most guys have done WAAAAAAY more than that. I realize it's a numbers game, but I just don't see how anyone has the patience/time to chasing bytches constantly at the club, bar or etc. I can't deal with the bullshyt, basically. I don't see how it's worth it. I've only done anything with three females, and they were all garbage. It may have just been those 3 in particular that winded up being wack, but I don't know. I just don't have the motivation anymore, but I try to stay optimistic.........
Plus at this point I have no choice but to go younger or higher. Most females my age have baggage like a mufukka, and I'm not stepdad type at all...I don't really want anything too serious, bc if all goes well I'll be out of this country for good in a couple years....
It's so fukking frustrating. The only female LATELY that I thought of talking to pretty much ignored me for whatever reason, although she complimented me,then had the nerve to ask me why I don't speak and shyt, as if she didn't leave my shyt on "read" the other day. I just basically ignored her and kept doing what I was doing...shyt's a real bummer too, she seemed very down-to-earth and easy to talk to. Just today I found out she also is/was into animation/art. I was thinking "Man we probably would of got along great. Why'd you have to ignore me....I really wish you wouldn't of...
I'm thinking after I start this new job, I'm going to have to make it my business to go out a lot more than I have been. This needs to be fixed, because I'm not trying to be alone forever. I'm practically a virgin right now, but i really don't know what to do. It seems as if my only choice is to go younger or older, since most females my age have baggage like a mufukka or they're looking to "build something." I have way too much in my system and way too little experience to be doing shyt like that. Plus if all goes well I'll be out of this country for good in a couple years.
I really just want someone(s) to chill with, but idk.....
.....but the reality is that they can't and stand wayyyyyyy more to lose than us.
