Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Turbulent]

Well I don't ever see that, if anything I see women walking by that'll scan the room or look at me while walking and I'll try to make eye contact and they'll quickly look away whether down or to the left or right.

Even in a club situation? Yeah I agree, that's kind of a waste of time because I feel like it would automatically put you into the friend zone. I think this girl at this coffee shop likes me or some shyt, because the other day ago I told her she looked nice and so idk she got kinda nervous and I got scatter brained while making my coffee, looking down for sugar I noticed her looking at me and so I asked what and she laughed and said nothing lol. But today I bought coffee and she came up put both arms on her hips with more attitude asking me what was up and telling me about her day. Do I ask to get coffee? My only problem is I don't know if I'd wife this girl and yeah she's cool but if she wants more then I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Oh yeah good point, so rather than just talking to a girl randomly, you make sure there's at least common interest and first.

And no, my bad I didn't mean cute, I meant Handsome, what's the difference between that and sexy? The cute one makes sense since it usually being said to kids.

eventhough this is addressed at kev, let me chime in a little.


you don't have to wait for common interest to approach. it really depends on your style. Do what you feel in the moment. it's just a style i prefer because it's less work imo. i feel more happy approaching a girl when i'm positive she's feeling me. takes away a lot of the pressure. but it's a personal thing.

My only problem is I don't know if I'd wife this girl and yeah she's cool but if she wants more then I don't want to hurt her feelings.

also, this is my personal opinion but i think you're too worried about what she may want or feel. You're already projecting on her ideas of what she wants. the whole point of getting coffee with her is to figure out what she's about and what she wants. Coffee doesn't commit you to anything more than coffee. She's a grown woman let her decide what she wants. As long as you're honest with her about what you want, you're not the one hurting her feelings. Don't tell her you want a relationship if you don't. if you just want to sleep with her for now, don't be ashamed of your desires. Don't lead her on by selling her a dream.

 

[Medio]

listen to this dude.

there are to spectrums when it comes to first contact with girls. Not that one is bad or anything, i guess it depends on your style.

-on one side you got dudes who approach blindly any girl they find attractive and apply the full court press (PUA style). It's basically a numbers game, they don't care about if a girl is showing her the signs and they are very persistent. You're basically choosing her first.

-on the other side, you got dudes who just wait for the girl to approach them. They sit back and observe. (Pimp style). If a girl likes you it's like Kev said, she'll find a way to get in your circle. You basically wait for her to choose you first. this requires patience and observation skills but i'm trying to lean more towards this style. sometimes they'll even approach you first. (had a girl ask me if i could help them with homework and then conveniently forgot their books at home so "we have to go get them", had girl ask me if i wanted to go see them play at their softball game and then wanted to hang out with me, etc, etc)

the reason i said they are two spectrums is that you could be somewhere in between. you could watch for signs that a girl is choosing you and then approach her. you could approach blindly and while talking to her, lay back a little in the convo and see if she starts asking you questions (basically trying to see if she's interested and giving signs she's choosing). the reason i'm starting to favor the second style is because once a girl is already choosing you, the work is already done. You already know for a fact that she likes you. You can take it where ever you want from there cause if she's choosing you hard, she'll follow you where ever you lead her cause she wants and needs your approbation.you're the driver (drive responsibly)

I agree with this. It's so much easier and better imo to talk to a girl that is giving you some sort of sign, whether it be looking at you for more than normal time on multiple occasions, a smile or smirk or some shyt. For me it just works better when it's like this.

 

[rapdonttweet]

My only problem is I don't know if I'd wife this girl and yeah she's cool but if she wants more then I don't want to hurt her feelings.

I can guarantee you that marriage is the furthest thing from this chick's mind. It shouldn't be on your mind either. One step at a time. First comes dating. Then comes a relationship.

 

[Medio]

the other day we was layin in her bed watchin a movie and i jus laid there and watched. what do i do if we side by side layin in the bed? what if im chillin with a girl in my car? my prob is that i dont know proper sexual advances.

damn my nikka

this same shyt happened to me, i put in work for one girl for like 2 months, then finally got her in my bed one night and i just layed there like a little bytch. shyt was awkward from that night on and i was pretty much friend zoned. i learned from that mistake a lot though

just go in for the kiss, if she backs up it's w/e, on to the next one homie

 

[Sharp]

haven't posted in here in a minute, but glad to see the brothers still building. If only our older brothers told us all of this stuff, but perhaps... they didn't know either.

With women, some men chase after everything, which may get you more women, but it's not effective and it doesn't help with your confidence or your character.

Think of it like baseball.
You wouldn't swing at a pitch that isn't over the plate (ball territory)
And if you don't swing at a pitch that goes over the plate, it's a strike.

It's all about swinging at good pitches.

Building on what Kev said, a woman will provide signs that she likes you and is interested in you. I consider this a good pitch. Now if you mess up, you can still strike out, but the likelihood is lower.

Trying to kick it to a woman who shows no interest in you (ex. a random woman in the street) is like attempting to hit a ball that is not over the plate. If you swing, the likelihood of you hitting is minimal, and even if you do, it's probably gonna be a foul ball.

Now striking out all the time hurts your battering average. Sure 100 hits sounds better than 20.. but if you attempted 800 times for 100 hits.. you're really not that good at it, and the women that you're getting are probably not quality or really what you wanted because you swung at (or rather approached everything that was moving). I'd prefer to get 20 hits on 30 attempts. And that's because I only swung at the pitches I liked. Key word "I liked". You do the choosing, don't let the women choose you.

If you like a woman and you sense that the feeling is mutual, take a swing... but be accurate.

Don't attempt to bag women just to bag them. You will be wasting your time and subjecting yourself to woman of inferior quality.

***What's key is to know when it's a good pitch


Hope I didn't lose you all with the baseball analogies

 

[rapdonttweet]

the other day we was layin in her bed watchin a movie and i jus laid there and watched. what do i do if we side by side layin in the bed? what if im chillin with a girl in my car? my prob is that i dont know proper sexual advances.

I said this before in another TLR thread. But once a female is lying on your bed there is literally nothing else you should be doing except initiating sexual contact. You can ask for all the tricks or makeout advice in the world, its not going to make up for a lack of initiative. Just lean over and kiss her.

Women don't initiate 90% of the time. What they do is put themselves in situations for you to initiate (coming to your house, getting on your bed). If she didn't want you, she wouldn't be there.

 

[Medio]

I'm wondering if any of yall can help me out in a situation

At the end of last year I met this chick in the library at school. I've been noticing her and she was definitely giving me the eye and shyt, I bytched out a few times but got some balls and spit my game and got her number. She's a mad good girl, she doesn't drink or smoke, doesn't party and is very smart, she works part time also.

Anyways we would text everyday, we went out on our first date during the semester break, just a walk in the park and some coffee after, it was great, like 4 hours, had a good time and when we were sitting on a bench i went in for a kiss and we madeout, then kissed goodnight after. Our 2nd date was a little before the new semester started and it was also very good, held hands and shyt .we'd still text after, she would text me first a lot. Then the first week of school we met up whenever we had time, i'd walk her to class and we'd kiss goodbye then talk later.

Then one time she texted me saying something along the lines that the feeling isn't there anymore (right after we met up for like an hour and i walked her to class). I was mad confused and tight that she told me in text. She felt bad for doing it through text so ignored her for a day then i gave in cause she wanted to meet me in person to tell me. so we met up and talked about it, she suggested being friends but i was like nah, then we ended up hooking up. so i was just confused.(mind u she's a v so idk if she wants to be a fwb) so then ignored her again for a few days and she suggested to meet up cause she wanted to give me something she bought me prior. i was like okay and met up again, i went in for a kiss but it lasted a few seconds then she pushed me back saying 'this is what u want right'.. so now i'm just mad confused. at this point i was thirsting still tryna kiss her and i asked her out again smh...

so at this point i ignored her for like almost a week then she hit me up on some pety shyt, which i don't want.. and that's it.. I haven't seen her or talked her for about 2 weeks. I kind of want to ask her on a date again but i have no idea what she's thinking, i'd rather ask in person. If i want to i can see her cause i know when her classes are and could just 'run into her or w/e' I don't know, what yall think of this ?

there's this other girl i got my eye on now in school too

 

[Turbulent]

haven't posted in here in a minute, but glad to see the brothers still building. If only our older brothers told us all of this stuff, but perhaps... they didn't know either.

With women, some men chase after everything, which may get you more women, but it's not effective and it doesn't help with your confidence or your character.

Think of it like baseball.
You wouldn't swing at a pitch that isn't over the plate (ball territory)
And if you don't swing at a pitch that goes over the plate, it's a strike.

It's all about swinging at good pitches.

Building on what Kev said, a woman will provide signs that she likes you and is interested in you. I consider this a good pitch. Now if you mess up, you can still strike out, but the likelihood is lower.

Trying to kick it to a woman who shows no interest in you (ex. a random woman in the street) is like attempting to hit a ball that is not over the plate. If you swing, the likelihood of you hitting is minimal, and even if you do, it's probably gonna be a foul ball.

Now striking out all the time hurts your battering average. Sure 100 hits sounds better than 20.. but if you attempted 800 times for 100 hits.. you're really not that good at it, and the women that you're getting are probably not quality or really what you wanted because you swung at (or rather approached everything that was moving). I'd prefer to get 20 hits on 30 attempts. And that's because I only swung at the pitches I liked. Key word "I liked". You do the choosing, don't let the women choose you.

If you like a woman and you sense that the feeling is mutual, take a swing... but be accurate.

Don't attempt to bag women just to bag them. You will be wasting your time and subjecting yourself to woman of inferior quality.

***What's key is to know when it's a good pitch


Hope I didn't lose you all with the baseball analogies

i agree with all of this except maybe the choosing part when you said " You do the choosing, don't let the women choose you." (or maybe it's a semantics thing). ultimately both parties choose eachother. but if you let her choose first, it's like you said, you have more chance of hitting the ball. I'm leaning more towards choosing within girls that are already at least somewhat choosing you. but like i said, i agree with almost everything you said so it's probably just a wording thing...

 

[rapdonttweet]

I'm wondering if any of yall can help me out in a situation

At the end of last year I met this chick in the library at school. I've been noticing her and she was definitely giving me the eye and shyt, I bytched out a few times but got some balls and spit my game and got her number. She's a mad good girl, she doesn't drink or smoke, doesn't party and is very smart, she works part time also.

Anyways we would text everyday, we went out on our first date during the semester break, just a walk in the park and some coffee after, it was great, like 4 hours, had a good time and when we were sitting on a bench i went in for a kiss and we madeout, then kissed goodnight after. Our 2nd date was a little before the new semester started and it was also very good, held hands and shyt .we'd still text after. Then the first week of school we met up whenever we had time, i'd walk her to class and we'd kiss goodbye then talk later.

Then one time she texted me saying something along the lines that the feeling isn't there anymore (right after we met up for like an hour and i walked her to class). I was mad confused and tight that she told me in text. She felt bad for doing it through text so ignored her for a day then i gave in cause she wanted to meet me in person to tell me. so we met up and talked about it, she suggested being friends but i was like nah, then we ended up hooking up. so i was just confused.(mind u she's a v so idk if she wants to be a fwb) so then ignored her again for a few days and she suggested to meet up cause she wanted to give me something she bought me prior. i was like okay and met up again, i went in for a kiss but it lasted a few seconds then she pushed me back saying 'this is what u want right'.. so now i'm just mad confused. at this point i was thirsting still tryna kiss her and i asked her out again smh...

so at this point i ignored her for like almost a week then she hit me up on some pety shyt, which i don't want.. and that's it.. I haven't seen her or talked her for about 2 weeks. I kind of want to ask her on a date again but i have no idea what she's thinking, i'd rather ask in person. If i want to i can see her cause i know when her classes are and could just 'run into her or w/e' I don't know, what yall think of this ?

there's this other girl i got my eye on now in school too

Sounds like your typical college chick that isn't ready to settle down in a real relationship. At least not with you. Here's a thing I learned about college females. Just because she has sex with you and spends time with you does not mean you are her boyfriend. She could be doing the same thing with any number of guys. Its not a real relationship until you get her to officially and publicly be your girlfriend. Right now she's playing with you. If you're looking for a serious relationship then avoid this female.

 

[Turbulent]

I'm wondering if any of yall can help me out in a situation

At the end of last year I met this chick in the library at school. I've been noticing her and she was definitely giving me the eye and shyt, I bytched out a few times but got some balls and spit my game and got her number. She's a mad good girl, she doesn't drink or smoke, doesn't party and is very smart, she works part time also.

Anyways we would text everyday, we went out on our first date during the semester break, just a walk in the park and some coffee after, it was great, like 4 hours, had a good time and when we were sitting on a bench i went in for a kiss and we madeout, then kissed goodnight after. Our 2nd date was a little before the new semester started and it was also very good, held hands and shyt .we'd still text after, she would text me first a lot. Then the first week of school we met up whenever we had time, i'd walk her to class and we'd kiss goodbye then talk later.

Then one time she texted me saying something along the lines that the feeling isn't there anymore (right after we met up for like an hour and i walked her to class). I was mad confused and tight that she told me in text. She felt bad for doing it through text so ignored her for a day then i gave in cause she wanted to meet me in person to tell me. so we met up and talked about it, she suggested being friends but i was like nah, then we ended up hooking up. so i was just confused.(mind u she's a v so idk if she wants to be a fwb) so then ignored her again for a few days and she suggested to meet up cause she wanted to give me something she bought me prior. i was like okay and met up again, i went in for a kiss but it lasted a few seconds then she pushed me back saying 'this is what u want right'.. so now i'm just mad confused. at this point i was thirsting still tryna kiss her and i asked her out again smh...

so at this point i ignored her for like almost a week then she hit me up on some pety shyt, which i don't want.. and that's it.. I haven't seen her or talked her for about 2 weeks. I kind of want to ask her on a date again but i have no idea what she's thinking, i'd rather ask in person. If i want to i can see her cause i know when her classes are and could just 'run into her or w/e' I don't know, what yall think of this ?

there's this other girl i got my eye on now in school too

what do you want with her exactly? and also when you say you hooked up with her, do you mean you slept with her?

 

[Medio]

what do you want with her exactly? and also when you say you hooked up with her, do you mean you slept with her?

i wanted to just casually go out like how we were doing
no,if you read i said she's a virgin

 

[Medio]

Sounds like your typical college chick that isn't ready to settle down in a real relationship. At least not with you. Here's a thing I learned about college females. Just because she has sex with you and spends time with you does not mean you are her boyfriend. She could be doing the same thing with any number of guys. Its not a real relationship until you get her to officially and publicly be your girlfriend. Right now she's playing with you. If you're looking for a serious relationship then avoid this female.

yea, she said she wasn't really committed she said. she said the last time she had a distraction in school she did bad and she's tryna go to med school so i can't really compete with that if she dont' want to. judging by how much time we would chill, talk, how much she would study and work i highly doubt she was doing the same thing with another guy at the same time, maybe she is now but definitely not before

it's annoying doe cause right after our first date she posted a status about how nothing is better than a perfect relationship . lol.

 

[rapdonttweet]

i wanted to just casually go out like how we were doing
no,if you read i said she's a virgin

Just so you know, hooking up means having sex.

 

[Sharp]

i agree with all of this except maybe the choosing part when you said " You do the choosing, don't let the women choose you." (or maybe it's a semantics thing). ultimately both parties choose eachother. but if you let her choose first, it's like you said, you have more chance of hitting the ball. I'm leaning more towards choosing within girls that are already at least somewhat choosing you. but like i said, i agree with almost everything you said so it's probably just a wording thing...

When I say choosing, I mean not just getting with a woman because you know she likes you.

You have to make sure you like her as well.

So in essence, it has to be mutual.

Some dudes will just mess with any chick who is on their d*ck, not assessing whether she's a good fit or look for him. That's how dudes get caught up with hoodrats. Half of the time hoodrats approach us and we just deal with them because they're readily available and end up in bad and unsatisfying situations.

 

[Medio]

Just so you know, hooking up means having sex.

depends where you're from but if it means that in this thread i'll use that from now on, thanks