Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[VertigoKnight]

They always come back after curving

Spoiler: previously

Was out for lunch today with one of my chicks and a friend of ours.

So its a popular Vietnamese place, so you have to line up for about 5 mins or more depending on the size of your party.

I'm speaking and suddenly I hear is this the queue to get in? Turn and it's a white chick I used to see earlier this year. Who straight up vanished on me, after I'd seen her a few times.

Now she could have asked anyone and its pretty obvious its a queue, but I'm sure she wanted to initiate conversation. Without being obvious.

The person I'm with goes yes and she says to me oh hello. How are you? I tell her I'm good, nice to see you. She goes to say something else but she can feel it's kinda awkward and trails off says nice to see you too. I turn back and carry on the chat. And she walks off.

We get seated about a min later and I don't see her in the queue, so she must have seen me and wanted to say something.

But you vanish like that, and expect me to entertain you? Doesn't work that way.

I'm perfectly fine if someone was going through something and they want to keep to themselves At least you've let me know. But to straight up ghost then expect me to be happy to see you and want to chat anymore than a cursory hello.

The chick in this story popped up again yesterday. Hit me up with a 'hello' text and I also saw that she's swiped me on Tinder.

But I can't ever re-entertain a chick who was this disrespectful. Especially since I thought we had an understanding that if things were not working tell me and we can leave things respectfully.

Was dealing with a different chick last year who was brave enough to tell me she was going through some shyt and needed to step back and get herself in order before she thought about dating again. I respected that, she could have slid off but she talked to me.

She said she'd reach out when she felt better. If she does I'd make the time for her. As she showed actual integrity.

This other chick though talked a big game about being open and honest. Then vanished.

pff she can keep it moving.

 

[LiveFromLondon]

They always come back after curving

Ive learnt its a merry go round with these chicks all you gotta do is wait and she'll be back. Only things is dont jump on her or act like you're holding a grudge just act cordial or nonchalant when she does come back and the p*ssy will be yours. Piece of cake

 

[Hawala Man]

The chick in this story popped up again yesterday. Hit me up with a 'hello' text and I also saw that she's swiped me on Tinder.

But I can't ever re-entertain a chick who was this disrespectful. Especially since I thought we had an understanding that if things were not working tell me and we can leave things respectfully.

Was dealing with a different chick last year who was brave enough to tell me she was going through some shyt and needed to step back and get herself in order before she thought about dating again. I respected that, she could have slid off but she talked to me.

She said she'd reach out when she felt better. If she does I'd make the time for her. As she showed actual integrity.

This other chick though talked a big game about being open and honest. Then vanished.

pff she can keep it moving.

Been lurking and reading this thread for months. From scenarios, insights to analysis you drop gems for a lot of these dudes who need to hear this and are struggling with simple concepts like you did in your post above. If more men did this rather than entertaining women in this example their self-worth and knowledge about women would change yielding better results. Salute!

 

[Ohene]

me and my girl at a breaking point

living with a girl is truly something else

 

[360dagod]

me and my girl at a breaking point

living with a girl is truly something else

What are the issues?

 

[Mazino]

me and my girl at a breaking point

living with a girl is truly something else

Damn, what happened breh. Seemed like it was going well enough.

 

[Ohene]

Damn, what happened breh. Seemed like it was going well enough.

it was but its like theres this mental roadblock and i cant get her to stop being temperamental or bicker over pointless stupid shyt
and sometimes i engage in the stupid bickering as a result too
i hear from a lot of brehs that this shyt is normal but to be honest i dont know if i can be with a girl who brings this side outta me

our circumstances are very unique with her moving to Toronto from another country, having to learn english better and moving straight in with me
that makes things that much harder...but i honestly feel at times like im dealing with a child lol

and its like at what point do i chalk it up to the circumstances vs. us maybe just not being good for one another

this latest argument resulted in her storming off, me trying to catch up and grabbing her by the sleeve of her jacket....her saying i hurt her and grabbed her arm ( i guess accidentally) and her slapping me as a reflex.

i have never been slapped in my life
I have never even had to grab a chicks arm i dont think...its crossing over into toxic territory

i think its the point of no return

 

[Ohene]

What are the issues?

theres been a lot of progress but...i feel like

- shes extroverted (claims shes introverted) but I am introverted
- she seems unappreciative. i can do everything right and she will be over the moon, but one thing goes wrong and shes liable to get bent or complain. in her mind it doesnt take away from the appreciation she showed before but in my mind it does. nikkas need to be given grace for indiscretions and mistakes. were all human...nobody is perfect.
- bickering over stupid shyt. we argue like 2ce a month over dumb shyt. The resolutions have gotten better and quicker, she has learned to reframe and be contrite etc...but its like damn...why we still arguing over this dumb shyt lol
- she needs constant reassurance of the relationship.

for me it just feels like shes combative and doesnt understand how this relationship shyt works. i alluded it to it before...shes learned, shes progressed...but it be feeling like a hamster wheel at times

it wont be an easy decision to make, but it might be time to tell her to just find her own place. lot of thinking to do

 

[Mazino]

its like theres this mental roadblock and i cant get her to stop being temperamental or bicker over pointless stupid shyt
and sometimes i engage in the stupid bickering as a result too
i hear from a lot of brehs that this shyt is normal but to be honest i dont know if i can be with a girl who brings this side outta me

our circumstances are very unique with her moving to Toronto from another country, having to learn english better and moving straight in with me
that makes things that much harder...but i honestly feel at times like im dealing with a child lol

and its like at what point do i chalk it up to the circumstances vs. us maybe just not being good for one another

this latest argument resulted in her storming off, me trying to catch up and grabbing her by the sleeve of her jacket....her saying i hurt her and grabbed her arm ( i guess accidentally) and her slapping me as a reflex.

i have never been slapped in my life
I have never even had to grab a chicks arm i dont think...its crossing over into toxic territory

Ah yeah that doesn't sound too good, I've been there with chicks that have that extra fire shtick and it wears thin after a while, in my experience its rare that they mellow out enough

Not gonna lie if a woman slapped me it'd be instant bush unless I've some some super unsavory shyt and even then it's like if I did what are we doing here?

She's done a lot to be with you but over time you have to ask yourself if you have the energy for it, embarking on a sunken cost fallacy is not the one.

 

[DJSmooth]

its like theres this mental roadblock and i cant get her to stop being temperamental or bicker over pointless stupid shyt
and sometimes i engage in the stupid bickering as a result too
i hear from a lot of brehs that this shyt is normal but to be honest i dont know if i can be with a girl who brings this side outta me

our circumstances are very unique with her moving to Toronto from another country, having to learn english better and moving straight in with me
that makes things that much harder...but i honestly feel at times like im dealing with a child lol

and its like at what point do i chalk it up to the circumstances vs. us maybe just not being good for one another

this latest argument resulted in her storming off, me trying to catch up and grabbing her by the sleeve of her jacket....her saying i hurt her and grabbed her arm ( i guess accidentally) and her slapping me as a reflex.

i have never been slapped in my life
I have never even had to grab a chicks arm i dont think...its crossing over into toxic territory

i think its the point of no return

Did she show signs of red flags before you moved her in? Usually when you travel with a woman the fake mask she wears starts to crack, you could have prevented this.

 

[Ohene]

Ah yeah that doesn't sound too good, I've been there with chicks that have that extra fire shtick and it wears thin after a while, in my experience its rare that they mellow out enough

Not gonna lie if a woman slapped me it'd be instant bush unless I've some some super unsavory shyt and even then it's like if I did what are we doing here?

She's done a lot to be with you but over time you have to ask yourself if you have the energy for it, embarking on a sunken cost fallacy is not the one.

at the bold...right? gotta be rational at some point.

 

[LoMax30]

I spoke to an old co-worker (breh) who stays in some shyt dating-wise Let these be lessons to whoever can receive them:

-Don't shoot the club up of a chick you've been dating less than 3 months and isn't on the pill

-Don't move in with a chick within a month of knowing her

-I'm all for knowing your value but creating a hierarchy in a relationship of making yourself the "prize" is maybe even

-Things get sticky sometimes but if someone (i.e. a chick's husband/side nikka/ex) approaches you but isn't physically threatening you, if your first reaction is going out of your way to show them you got a stick on you

 

[Ohene]

Did she show signs of red flags before you moved her in? Usually when you travel with a woman the fake mask she wears starts to crack, you could have prevented this.

we've known eachother for years but I agree. being friends overseas is different from dating somebody traditionally.

i took a leap of faith based on conversations we have and visits to eachothers countries. no red flags. i think my biggest mistake might have been moving her in with me soon as she touched down, rather than having her live alone at first

too much too soon. she has this fairy tale mindset and i have had to show her what love and relationships is really about. now she understands but its like she misattributes a lot of what we go through

 

[Duke Wy Lin]

we've known eachother for years but I agree. being friends overseas is different from dating somebody traditionally.

i took a leap of faith based on conversations we have and visits to eachothers countries. my biggest mistake might have been moving her in with me soon as she touched down, rather than having her live alone at first

too much too soon

Whatever you decide to do, you have to factor in all the positive things too and see if the good outweighs the bad. Usually a slap is instabushes, but if she did it instinctively because you accidentally grabbed her too tight or something, maybe that's different. Does she throw tantrums? Has she gotten violent before?

How much of her acting out can be chalked up to her feeling homesick or anxious about being in a new country, away from family/friends and only you to rely on? That can bring the worst out of anybody.

Has she made new friends since she moved to Canada? If she doesn't have a social life/hobbies outside of just being with you, I can see why that can create/compound tensions.

 

[Ohene]

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