Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ohene]

Right, I am pretty much 40. I just turned 39. These are mostly people I have known for years. And they are mostly my age. I know a few 24 year olds, but did not include them. I understand social norms, but I am also, at the forefront of watching them shift under my feet.

This is why the "data" is so confusing/all over the place, because one of the women who answers more than anyone is 30. Another who didn't answer is 51! That's the outlier, because we just met.

Now, people text to ASK if they can call. How many gate keepers/qualifiers are needed to just talk? I do get why a lot prefer text as far as online dating or even meeting in person, is one of women I met recently was kinda sexy on text, and when we talked on the phone, a lot of that was lost. She was so all over the place, kinda dumb, chaotic, unsure of herself.

yup. i have literally asked a chick if she down to facetime/chat twice in the last month
i feel like a herb doing it but one has to adapt lol

ppl spend a lot of time online these days. we at a point where some young women will look at you like youre a lunatic/leper just for approaching them on the street. as a result a lot of people lack social skills that were once considered basic and often misinterpret genuine interest/proactiveness as being a creep or thirsty

 

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

We went on our date to a bar last night. I honestly had a great time. We were there talking and laughing damn near 4 hours. We have another date set up for next week.

Only thing is I couldn’t get a good grasp on what her body looked like. She looked a little bigger than her pics but she was wearing baggy clothes so idk.

find out fast what the body looks like...

you dont wanna start really liking this chick and find out you not physically attracted to her....

i have tried to give women a shot that im not that attracted to.....eventually i had to cut it off....i have to by physically into it

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

yup. i have literally asked a chick if she down to facetime/chat twice in the last month
i feel like a herb doing it but one has to adapt lol

ppl spend a lot of time online these days. we at a point where some young women will look at you like youre a lunatic/leper just for approaching them on the street. as a result a lot of people lack social skills that were once considered basic and often misinterpret genuine interest/proactiveness as being a creep or thirsty

It’s sounds crazy in 2025..but there was a time when you are driving and see attractive women and just holla at her

And not get called creepy or weird

Or it’s 3am at a food spot outside the club and you meet a women end up walking together to her house if you vibe well

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Right, I am pretty much 40. I just turned 39. These are mostly people I have known for years. And they are mostly my age. I know a few 24 year olds, but did not include them. I understand social norms, but I am also, at the forefront of watching them shift under my feet.

This is why the "data" is so confusing/all over the place, because one of the women who answers more than anyone is 30. Another who didn't answer is 51! That's the outlier, because we just met.

Now, people text to ASK if they can call. How many gate keepers/qualifiers are needed to just talk? I do get why a lot prefer text as far as online dating or even meeting in person, one of women I met recently was kinda sexy on text, and when we talked on the phone, a lot of that was lost. She was so all over the place, kinda dumb, chaotic, unsure of herself.

I wonder if folks still have phone sex lol

 

[skyrunner1]

I wonder if folks still have phone sex lol

They just send videos or probably facetime now

 

[MAKAVELI25]

We went on our date to a bar last night. I honestly had a great time. We were there talking and laughing damn near 4 hours. We have another date set up for next week.

Only thing is I couldn’t get a good grasp on what her body looked like. She looked a little bigger than her pics but she was wearing baggy clothes so idk.

Very happy for you and I hope it works out.

Only criticism I would express (and I hope it's constructive) is that four hours is a long time for a date.

Keep it short, keep her wanting more, and silently communicate to her how valuable your time is.

 

[re'up]

yup. i have literally asked a chick if she down to facetime/chat twice in the last month
i feel like a herb doing it but one has to adapt lol

ppl spend a lot of time online these days. we at a point where some young women will look at you like youre a lunatic/leper just for approaching them on the street. as a result a lot of people lack social skills that were once considered basic and often misinterpret genuine interest/proactiveness as being a creep or thirsty

If someone connects with me on that, then it was worth the whole process

Thank you for that admission lol

 

[re'up]

I wonder if folks still have phone sex lol

I read a word yesterday that I didn't know, asynchronous, which means not happening at the same time. As in most communication now is like that.

On that subject, texts are hot, but hearing someone's actual voice is much hotter.

 

[jesc07]

If I can't get a girl on the phone or FT then it's on to the next for me. If you can't talk on the phone then how you going to talk in person lol.

Also, I don't ask to call or FT. I'll send a few texts and say call me when you get home or I'll call you when I'm off of work. I've always used it as way to filter out who's really with it to be honest.

 

[RaspberryFitted]

I read a word yesterday that I didn't know, asynchronous, which means not happening at the same time. As in most communication now is like that.

On that subject, texts are hot, but hearing someone's actual voice is much hotter.

lol asynchronous classes during COVID were amazing. No lectures — simply have all assignments due the next Sunday

 

[Ohene]

If I can't get a girl on the phone or FT then it's on to the next for me. If you can't talk on the phone then how you going to talk in person lol.

Also, I don't ask to call or FT. I'll send a few texts and say call me when you get home or I'll call you when I'm off of work. I've always used it as way to filter out who's really with it to be honest.

ya'll definitely some older dudes lol. the way I see it,

it's women who simply dont like talking on the phone
it's women who prefer talking on the phone rather than texting
it's women who dont like either and are still great in person

I personally dont really care...I am okay with any mode of communication and often dont wanna talk on the phone because it limits my ability to do other stuff (e.g., work, eat, cook, walk outside, exercise, watch tv, text other ppl etc.) Even when dudes call me, if we aint talking about something important, a lot of the time I just wanna get off the phone and do some other, more productive shyt. Talking on the phone requires too much of my undivided attention

 

[VertigoKnight]

I read a word yesterday that I didn't know, asynchronous, which means not happening at the same time. As in most communication now is like that.

On that subject, texts are hot, but hearing someone's actual voice is much hotter.

Yep, I send a chick a voice message and its usually a wrap.

It's a good stand in for a full blown phone convo.

 

[jesc07]

ya'll definitely some older dudes lol. the way I see it,

33.

 

[JealousOnesEn_V]

Met one of my cousin’s friends (baddie) at a kick back a couple months back and we’ve always vibed since we met but I've never pressed the issue. Fast forward to this past Saturday and a few of the cousins go out. My cousin invites her friend and she pulls up late after she gets off work. We immediately start vibing. Good convo, laughing, asking the right questions and we end up getting cozy at the strip club later that night.

I end up getting her number when we were all leaving and she texts me that she made it home and it was really good seeing me again. I tell her the same and we need to run it back soon. I end up texting her again today asking how her week has been going so far and she let me know today has been super busy for her with work. She also asks how I've been doing and if I made it back to Austin since I was back home in Houston. I let her know I ended up staying in Houston for few more days and I let her know the reason. I was expecting her to respond back so I can parlay that into asking her out dolo but she doesn't respond back (or hasn’t as of yet).

What yall boys think? Should I cut my losses or just see how it plays out. I’m not really with games but maybe I’m overreacting lol.

 

[phcitywarrior]

I let her know I ended up staying in Houston for few more days and I let her know the reason. I was expecting her to respond back so I can parlay that into asking her out dolo but she doesn't respond back (or hasn’t as of yet).

Should have just asked her to link in one fell swoop, especially if you feel the vibe was good. The worst thing is she says no, but so what, you're still living your life. No need to overthink it.