Unc did but he either got overran by concern or by his wife or bothIt's a shame. Usually there's one or two that would understand
Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
- Start date
Gotta tell them pickings be slim…..
Times have changed. Just observing from this thread, older brehs are having an easier time settling down. We are so far removed from men finding a good woman earlier in their life.
My uncle in particular understands that which is why he's pressing me about now at 31 and not later. I more or less fit the "MGTOW" bill and have largely been alone anyway so the "it gets harder" he tries to warn me about doesn't scare me.
I wouldn't extrapolate the Coli to real life, I joke about this board being a cabal of DeBruce Waynes and Antonio Starks but if not some comical mix of top tier everything most brehs are an outlier in at least one aspect.
IRL its harder as we age, or at least the tradeoffs are less appealing. I'm just at a stage where I'm at the dawn of my independence and I'm not in a rush to give my energy to a process that becomes more intentional on the mere strength of coming from a matchmaking attempt.
skyrunner1
Superstar
Ideally whats your end goal? I only ask because you relatively a young breh but say you fit Mgtow lifestyle. I always looked at that as older brehs who already had kids and been around the block who cashed they chips and bounced.. Obviously younger brehs heard the convo and warnings but the message could get lost in translation so to say..
i know my parents want some grand kids between them - they have some but long story - but thankfully they know its a weird/messed up climate were in. I am very lucky, especially considering theyre african. Most african parents have no idea
I'm gonna quote a couple of my own posts, one in this very thread, to try summarize my end goal or at least mentality, but I wanna address this.
I'm very big on human nature and blueprints/systems and how culture/nature trickles down. What you just said comes off like another primal belief/instinct. In fact it's probably the yang to the yin of "man needs woman to be happy".
You probably think what you think about MGTOW because A) that older demographic of men is your first meeting with it, but more prominently B) you probably think men need to "try" and have that experience before going down that path... because it's a norm as a species to pair and procreate.
I believe experience can be, or sometimes flat out is, overrated. If you've observed a pattern hold true enough times, you've essentially simulated what you could've/would've/should've (couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't) done or be doing. I think cats my age down are on this even if they don't articulate it this way.
With this ideology/label (MGTOW), 15 years ago it was extremely niche and a source of laughter IRL. Today, it's not the standard but it's much harder to downplay. In 2040 it will likely be the standard for Gen Alpha young men.
Those 15 years ago as someone who left high school in 2011 that's the last (sub)generation on that "group of 5 go to the mall and clown each other for not talking to girls" wave. Someone 5 years my junior is just starting to like girls/women on a romantic/sexual level, and his first introduction to what women want as the social media era dawns, is "leave us alone".
This was the catcalling/sexual harassment era that preceded #MeToo, and what young brehs literally grew up on along with the slow growth of men saying "leave em alone" over the 2010s decade. Between that and social media inflation women's (self)value, 25 year old cats understand that "trying" and eventually getting to 45 with alimony/child support kicking them into "let me go my own way" puts them too far gone.
I think that if you are plugged in - as corny as it sounds - then its hard not to see the writing on the wall. If you are serious about starting a family you will quickly see that something is just fundamentally wrong with how people view and approach relationships. And for the ones who have the right mentality, there is often a lot of baggage you have to deal with once you get into your late 20s because they done dealt with others who have fundamental issues and become jaded. As a result, you are confronted by a decision; do I ignore logic/reason and take the plunge or risk by committing to this damaged or delusional person? Or, do I instead hold out for somebody who is relatively aligned with my values and mentality at the risk of being single.
For example, I met a nice, decently attractive woman but after a few dates she basically told me how she was trying to abstain until marriage and she wasnt a virgin. That's an example of delusion. She was nice and conservative the way I like so I continued seeing her (whilst smashing other women) to see if I she was worth the wait (knowing she probably wasnt). In getting to know her I realized that she was kinda an unaffectionate robot which was good in some ways and bad in others. I was able to realize and discover why and thats where the damaged part comes in. She had been raped by an ex before. She had been physically assaulted (choked) by said ex before. AND HE WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH HER. On top of that she had a bad relationship with her pops and a codependent relationship with her mom amongst other things such as having student debt and being unemployed. It all made sense why she was abstaining, even though she might have not pieced it together. Nice girl...but simply too damaged and nothing going on. I chucked the deuces.
And I have many other stories like this from the last year alone. This is the truth a lot of men (and perhaps women) are facing. I said it pages ago that I dont necessarily WANT to be alone but I will be content with it as a result, because between the delusion and damage these women are carrying, the juice simply isnt worth the squeeze 95% of the time. This is my opinion at age 33. I started to see around 5 years ago probably; but in the last 2 years I I have come to accept it
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To be fair, you're white collar which probably makes the cliche less false for you.
nah i think that it may differ from person to person. I am somewhat introverted though.
the truth of the matter is that most women dont approach men. so no matter what you do, unless you're really out there ...simply not caring about women isnt going to magnetize them.
for instance...maybe 1.5 years ago during the summer I met this chick while going for a walk in my area, nice 5 foot girl with an amazing bubble/body from Zimbabwe. I approached her on the street and she said she has a fiancee so I fell back. He lives in Nigeria and she said shes back and forth between the countries.
Fast forward 8-9 months after that I am at the grocery store and I see a chick while I am checking out. I time my shyt so that I leave the store shortly after her and then I approach her (i'm a creep, it is what it is). We get to talking and then she tells me her name, lets say its "Lisa". I'm like, "oh shyt, I've met you before; arent you married?" She looked different this time because she had braids and a hoodie but the first time I met her she had one a wig or weave or sumn. She tells me her man dumped her right before the wedding!
Anyways, her and I go out / connect a few times and start fukkin. Before we start fukkin though, I could tell she was really feeling/entranced by me. She told me that I was her crush in the neighborhood and used to see me around frequently. I was dumbfounded because I had never seen her around the hood since the day I had met her. Unbeknownst to me, she was prolly walking past me or near me and I wasnt paying her no mind. I wasnt in that zone...but did she ever holla at or approach me...NO. It wasnt until I was the aggresor that shyt popped off.
Sidenote: that is why i will never agree with the rhetoric that a man should just wait for women to come to them. Pretty gang, handsome gang, rich gang whatever...nah. I am always gonna go for mine and be the aggresor (but i wouldnt mind if a woman approached me either)
@Ohene we agree that women aren't gonna approach. My point is different lines of work/lifestyles make a different type of presentation standard, one of which is more likely to have a woman's attention and choosing signals on.
If I skip the gym to run and after work errand you and I are going to present very different to even test the theory.
If I skip the gym to run and after work errand you and I are going to present very different to even test the theory.
For sure
Working in a metro city dressed as a professional makes things a lot easier
Truth be told i dont even wait for choosing signals and theyre rare i find. I will approach a chick fresh off a 1 hour work out, wearing shorts and a sweaty tee. I give zero fukks and thats prolly why I am successful
The quality of women arent always the best personality wise (despite being very attractive ) though
To add to this, I am not a religious person by any means but one thing we can all agree on is that there is some wisdom in spots in the bible/from our elders.I think that if you are plugged in - as corny as it sounds - then its hard not to see the writing on the wall. If you are serious about starting a family you will quickly see that something is just fundamentally wrong with how people view and approach relationships. And for the ones who arent, there is often a lot of baggage you have to deal with once you get into your late 20s. As a result, you are confronted by a decision; do I ignore logic/reason and take the plunge or risk by committing to this damaged or delusional person? Or, do I instead hold out for somebody who is relatively aligned with my values and mentality at the risk of being single.
For example, I met a nice, decently attractive woman but after a few dates she basically told me how she was trying to abstain until marriage and she wasnt a virgin. That's an example of delusion. She was nice and conservative the way I like so I continued seeing her (whilst smashing other women) to see if I she was worth the wait (knowing she probably wasnt). In getting to know her I realized that she was kinda an unaffectionate robot which was good in some ways and bad in others. I was able to realize and discover why and thats where the damaged part comes in. She had been raped by an ex before. She had been physically assaulted (choked) by said ex before. AND HE WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH HER. On top of that she had a bad relationship with her pops and a codependent relationship with her mom amongst other things such as having student debt and being unemployed. It all made sense why she was abstaining, even though she might have not pieced it together. Nice girl...but simply too damaged and nothing going on. I chucked the deuces.
And I have many other stories like this from the last year alone. This is the truth a lot of men (and perhaps women) are facing. I said it pages ago that I dont necessarily WANT to be alone but I will be content with it as a result, because between the delusion and damage these women are carrying, the juice simply isnt worth the squeeze 95% of the time. This is my opinion at age 33. I started to see around 5 years ago probably; but in the last 2 years I I have come to accept it
We are not meant to frolick and gallivant. There is truly value in meeting and sticking to one person maybe a few more and settling down early in life. The more bodies and fun we accumulate the more addicted we get to that dopamine, the more damaged we become by bad experiences or disappointments. Its a catch 22 though because sometimes there is a lot to be gained or learned through experience but overall it aint worth it…especially for these women. After all, what if she got married to that abusive guy and was “stuck” In a marriag with him from a young age and that was all she knew so it was normalized to her. Hmm… lol