Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ohene]

I managed to binge almost all of A Different World in a few weeks and it might be the most underrated sitcom. Life I tell you…

Things may look different these days but all in all, shyt dont really change at the core. It’s a fictional TV show but a lot of the themes in it are still present today (for better or worse).

The ending makes for a good love story, but realistically there is no way Whitley and Dwayne last in the long run, and they never should have gotten together in the first place.

 

[Ohene]

I managed to binge almost all of A Different World in a few weeks and it might be the most underrated sitcom. Life I tell you…

Things may look different these days but all in all, shyt dont really change at the core. It’s a fictional TV show but a lot of the themes in it are still present today (for better or worse).

The ending makes for a good love story, but realistically there is no way Whitley and Dwayne last in the long run, and they never should have gotten together in the first place.

I will give one example…spoiler alert

This Byron cat is introduced to Whitley through Dwayne (whos working on his political campaign with him) who he finds out is her ex fiance. He also finds out through Dwayne that they slept together while he has been dating her. Instead of doing what a man of sense should do and conclude that Whitley isnt over Dwayne, and toss her to the curb…he continues to date her in appreciation of her honesty and even proposes to her soon after (after prolly only a few months of dating).

To make matters worse he is audacious enough for Dwayne to be at his Bachelor party and get a wedding invite. It’s almost like he’s rubbing it in Dwayne’s face or trying to prove how secure he is by not setting boundaries. Dwayne raises him, catches an Ace on the river and steals his wife in the nick of time.

Byron was the good man, the dude who was good on paper. I am careful not to say “nice guy” because he was assertive despite being naive at times. On top of that he was everything women say they want and quite frankly everything women should want. He was secure, intelligent, patient, conscious, ambitious, had clout, had integrity, had money, was charismatic, respectful, parents liked him. Whitley knew she should be with him too but ultimately could not get over the dude who was her first and most passionate love, the same dude who technically cheated on her in the past and was flip floppy. For as good as Byron was…he was boring.

There are men out here looking past these same types of red flags in women and dealing with these very issues today. There are women who are dealing with the same dilemma Whitley did. In fact, this same bs is discussed in your average podcast, tik tok or YouTube channel daily:

- Dating women who still have feelings for their exes

- Settling for a person but there’s no spark

- Dating women who are probably getting their backs blown out by someone else on the low

And honestly, many men dont even know it and won’t realize it until its too late. Why? Because women are good at faking it. In their defense they dont even know thats what theyre doing sometimes, they think theyre being righteous and doing whats best but in reality theyre wasting peoples time. Thats the dangerous thing about “feelings”, theyre fickle.

On the flipside Dwayne always had Whitleys back so i get it. It’s not a show they could ever bring back on some that 90s show shyt but it’s very interesting to think about what would’ve happened to them if it was real life. Very good show…amazing character development for a sitcom

 

[Ohene]

Think about it

For all the talk about toxic masculinity, feminism, incels, mental illness, redpill, narcissism, and all this other shyt…what has really changed?

The same types of dudes who would’ve ate with women back then are the ones eating today…ultimately the ones who are unapologetic and go for what they want (e.g. Dwayne saying fukk Byrons wedding and stealing his girl lol).

I say all that to say block out all the noise you see online stick to the fundamentals. Be your best self unapologetically and go after the women you want. Don’t try to ever fit into or conform to what the world tries to tell you it is to be a man or what you must be to attract women.

 

[Scaaar]

Think about it

For all the talk about toxic masculinity, feminism, incels, mental illness, redpill, narcissism, and all this other shyt…what has really changed?

The same types of dudes who would’ve ate with women back then are the ones eating today…ultimately the ones who are unapologetic and go for what they want (e.g. Dwayne saying fukk Byrons wedding and stealing his girl lol).

I say all that to say block out all the noise you see online stick to the fundamentals. Be your best self unapologetically and go after the women you want. Don’t try to ever fit into or conform to what the world tries to tell you it is to be a man or what you must be to attract women.

Essentially! Nothing has truly changed about the dating game. There are just new avenues to monetize it. The only people that came up are the podcast folks on both sides. These are the unchosen ones who have gained game and money trying to poison the dating well for everyone else spreading horror stories. But the ground rules remain the the same. Be the best version of yourself and tell the truth. You'll have plenty of opportunities and options to meet out here.

 

[RaspberryFitted]

And honestly, many men dont even know it and won’t realize it until its too late. Why? Because women are good at faking it. In their defense they dont even know thats what theyre doing sometimes, they think theyre being righteous and doing whats best but in reality theyre wasting peoples time. Thats the dangerous thing about “feelings”, theyre fickle.

Having an experience with a woman who was on your gameplan also helps a lot to identify bullshyt

I still use my ex as a litmus test for behavior I want and don’t want in a relationship

 

[Ohene]

Having an experience with a woman who was on your gameplan also helps a lot to identify bullshyt

I still use my ex as a litmus test for behavior I want and don’t want in a relationship

I was talking to a married friend of mine about this last night

In my opinion its almost impossible to find the older you get. Even he said if he wasnt married he wouldnt date a girl unless she was 25 or younger and were 33/34. People get accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and get so bogged down with baggage that it makes it hard for them to trust people. That includes men but it's even worse with [attractive] women who tend to be coddled and are thus used to getting what they want. And its even worse with black women because I think our cultures are more matriarchal. I could be wrong though. There are always exceptions but in my experience it's just very difficult and the trust of a woman is very fragile. The slightest slip up or miscommunication will trigger them and they runnin for the hills

 

[The ADD]

I was talking to a married friend of mine about this last night

In my opinion its almost impossible to find the older you get. Even he said if he wasnt married he wouldnt date a girl unless she was 25 or younger and were 33/34. People get accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and get so bogged down with baggage that it makes it hard for them to trust people. That includes men but it's even worse with [attractive] women who tend to be coddled and are thus used to getting what they want. And its even worse with black women because I think our cultures are more matriarchal. I could be wrong though. There are always exceptions but in my experience it's just very difficult and the trust of a woman is very fragile. The slightest slip up or miscommunication will trigger them and they runnin for the hills

Interesting

 

[skyrunner1]

Having an experience with a woman who was on your gameplan also helps a lot to identify bullshyt

I still use my ex as a litmus test for behavior I want and don’t want in a relationship

All of this. When you experience that REAL, have a chick really into you, experience how its supposed to be easy and not like you dragging or chasing a mule it make you know what its supposed to be annd someone cant play you or gaslight you on some naivete. Probably cut off a large percentage of market for you also. Its just not worth it especially as the investing party

 

[Ohene]

All of this. When you experience that REAL, have a chick really into you, experience how its supposed to be easy and not like you dragging or chasing a mule it make you know what its supposed to be annd someone cant play you or gaslight you on some naivete. Probably cut off a large percentage of market for you also. Its just not worth it especially as the investing party

i agree. but have you ever had a girl that was REEEALLY into you at one point...only for her to completely do a 180 as the relationship progresses or grows?

 

[skyrunner1]

i agree. but have you ever had a girl that was REEEALLY into you at one point...only for her to completely do a 180 as the relationship progresses or grows?

Oh yea, them breaking bad almost seems inevitable, but the actual long term situations I can also say I had a part in when that happened also. I saw it mentioned here before but me now understanding how me being "distant" works great for short term dating, I see how it would have a negative ripple for long term. Thats probably a L I hold if I lay it on the table.

Its alot of nuance to it also, the length involved and such. Also I think the way we are soooo connected nowadays, the ability an ex has to reconnect and try to get back in while that person might be in committed situation probably causes more issues than people realize. I have had people hit me from email to sending me $1 on cashapp with note saying they lost my number to call them. Me and my boys have a thing where we say they always come back, but no one thinks about that other side about whats going on with the hand you cant see. Easier than ever to setup backup plans and parachutes for safe landings.

 

[skyrunner1]

I was talking to a married friend of mine about this last night

In my opinion its almost impossible to find the older you get. Even he said if he wasnt married he wouldnt date a girl unless she was 25 or younger and were 33/34. People get accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and get so bogged down with baggage that it makes it hard for them to trust people. That includes men but it's even worse with [attractive] women who tend to be coddled and are thus used to getting what they want. And its even worse with black women because I think our cultures are more matriarchal. I could be wrong though. There are always exceptions but in my experience it's just very difficult and the trust of a woman is very fragile. The slightest slip up or miscommunication will trigger them and they runnin for the hills

Always said "dating" is a young mans game. Like a large percentage of pool will be young brehs, then you have some older who probably got out of long term situation but they have already fulfilled their genetic and social obligations most likely. For brehs in their mid 30s, you playing by different set of rules depending on your goals. There was a thread in TLR I think while back where brehs in that demo were breaking it down.

And when I really sit there and think, even the most "select" brehs who have options beyond most wildest dreams get pulled off the market. I got a literal Unc, who used to be one of the biggest players I knew growing up (probably one of inspirations from my youth real talk), he used to have women coming to his brother house looking for him, he would have a pager and then have to run to pay phone and put in his emotional labor. Some women only knew to find him at our house, it was a different game back then before the tech ball n chains we have now. Ran into him at wedding after I havent seen in decade plus, I was legit like In parking lot of wedding, Im with my little cuz who didnt know the background and im like take my pic while trying to break it down for him. We taking the pic and chopping it up, and Im like yooooo "this was the biggest player...." and he stopped me and was like "chill got the ol lady in the car" Im like huh?? You used to have late 90s era dimessssss on gooo lol. Man we sat and chopped it up, and thats when you notice the aging, the deisel muscles gone, more worried about building and retirement, kids and helping them. Father time aint no joke. That was an eye opening thing because this was the select breh who could play "the game" forever. Growing up I knew a like 3-4 legit players, even had a cousin who was in church heavy but he was pulling different church girls, my young eyes couldnt even comprehend. All them brehs are family men now, older kids in college type. Brehs have to get clear on their goals and make sure their actions align, and from the pic posted above the game is getting dam near impossible if 4s are rewriting the rulebook due to oversaturation of options.

 

[Ohene]

Always said "dating" is a young mans game. Like a large percentage of pool will be young brehs, then you have some older who probably got out of long term situation but they have already fulfilled their genetic and social obligations most likely. For brehs in their mid 30s, you playing by different set of rules depending on your goals. There was a thread in TLR I think while back where brehs in that demo were breaking it down.

And when I really sit there and think, even the most "select" brehs who have options beyond most wildest dreams get pulled off the market. I got a literal Unc, who used to be one of the biggest players I knew growing up (probably one of inspirations from my youth real talk), he used to have women coming to his brother house looking for him, he would have a pager and then have to run to pay phone and put in his emotional labor. Some women only knew to find him at our house, it was a different game back then before the tech ball n chains we have now. Ran into him at wedding after I havent seen in decade plus, I was legit like In parking lot of wedding, Im with my little cuz who didnt know the background and im like take my pic while trying to break it down for him. We taking the pic and chopping it up, and Im like yooooo "this was the biggest player...." and he stopped me and was like "chill got the ol lady in the car" Im like huh?? You used to have late 90s era dimessssss on gooo lol. Man we sat and chopped it up, and thats when you notice the aging, the deisel muscles gone, more worried about building and retirement, kids and helping them. Father time aint no joke. That was an eye opening thing because this was the select breh who could play "the game" forever. Growing up I knew a like 3-4 legit players, even had a cousin who was in church heavy but he was pulling different church girls, my young eyes couldnt even comprehend. All them brehs are family men now, older kids in college type. Brehs have to get clear on their goals and make sure their actions align, and from the pic posted above the game is getting dam near impossible if 4s are rewriting the rulebook due to oversaturation of options.

I hear you.

I think we overestimate how much time we have or how easy it is to find a woman (or woman finding a man). But what happens is you can be 22 years old fresh out of school. You spend a year getting to know random people until you find somebody you actually vibe with. Then you spend 2 years dating somebody before you break up. Then you spend another year fully getting over them and another two or 3 years dating somebody. Thats a total of 7 years and before you know it you are 29 years old and its crunch time.

I for instance ran through a lot of hoes but I always wanted something serious. I can honestly say I just wasted my time with certain people though. Two girls I dated but then they moved overseas leading to break ups. That was between ages 21-25. Then I moved out on my own and was exploring a bit while also hustling. Around this time I can honestly say I was still learning about women. From age 27-29 I dated one girl and we broke up around the start of COVID. Then COVID happens which stifles your ability to meet women...etc etc. Before you know it youre in youre early 30s and looking at a cess pool.

shyt creeps on your very fast and the culture shifts quickly as well. Comparing precovid dating to dating now is somewhat jarring due to the proliferation of social media. Nobody could have seen the changes being this stark.

 

[The ADD]

I hear you.

I think we overestimate how much time we have or how easy it is to find a woman (or woman finding a man). But what happens is you can be 22 years old fresh out of schoo. You spend a year getting to know random people until you find somebody yo actually vibe with. Then youv spend 2 years dating somebody before you break up. Then you spend another year fully getting over them and another two or 3 years dating somebody. Thats a total of 7 years and before you know it you are 29 years old and its crunch time.

I for instance ran through a lot of hoes but I always wanted something serious. I can honestly say I just wasted my time with certain people though. Two girls I dated but then they moved overseas leading to break ups. That was between ages 21-25. Then I moved out on my own and was exploring a bit while also hustling. Around this time I can honestly say I was still learning about women. From age 27-29 I dated one girl and we broke up around the start of COVID. Then COVID happens which stifles your ability to meet women...etc etc. Before you know it youre in youre early 30s and looking at a cess pool.

shyt creeps on your very fast and the culture shifts quickly as well. Comparing precovid dating to dating now is somewhat jarring due to the proliferation of social media. Nobody could have seen the changes being this stark.

 

[Ahadi]

Between the weight gain & limited social interactions during covid

 

[cyndaquil]

I say all that to say block out all the noise you see online stick to the fundamentals. Be your best self unapologetically and go after the women you want. Don’t try to ever fit into or conform to what the world tries to tell you it is to be a man or what you must be to attract women.

powerful. You right! Regina Hall here I come