The Jewnited States
Superstar
Come on bruh. You thought an old high school flame with two kids only was no strings attached
But she sounded so convincing when she said she wasn't asking me to be a stepdad or move at too quick a pace
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But she sounded so convincing when she said she wasn't asking me to be a stepdad or move at too quick a pace
The Jewnited States
Superstar
Appreciate it breh. I think y'all are right that I need to just cut it off now. It's hard for me because I have known her for over 20 years and I don't want to lose the friendship. Something I should have thought about more before I started fukking her, but I was fresh out and wanted to have a consistent thing on deck. I really did go in with the intentions of taking it a day at a time and seeing how well we actually work together for extended periods of time. I didn't think she would be getting this emotional and clingy this quick, I figured her job and kids would be priorities that overshadowed me to the fullest. I genuinely care about her and want only the best for her. Might mean letting her go so she can find a dude that has his own kids already and they can do the blended family thing
If she ain’t find it while you were locked up…….
Appreciate it breh. I think y'all are right that I need to just cut it off now. It's hard for me because I have known her for over 20 years and I don't want to lose the friendship. Something I should have thought about more before I started fukking her, but I was fresh out and wanted to have a consistent thing on deck. I really did go in with the intentions of taking it a day at a time and seeing how well we actually work together for extended periods of time. I didn't think she would be getting this emotional and clingy this quick, I figured her job and kids would be priorities that overshadowed me to the fullest. I genuinely care about her and want only the best for her. Might mean letting her go so she can find a dude that has his own kids already and they can do the blended family thing
End of the day it’s not the life you want and that’s perfectly fine. I didn’t want to date single mothers after a while myself.
the other alternative is to tell her yall never gonna be an item...aint like she can trap you with a kid
Appreciate it breh. I think y'all are right that I need to just cut it off now. It's hard for me because I have known her for over 20 years and I don't want to lose the friendship. Something I should have thought about more before I started fukking her, but I was fresh out and wanted to have a consistent thing on deck. I really did go in with the intentions of taking it a day at a time and seeing how well we actually work together for extended periods of time. I didn't think she would be getting this emotional and clingy this quick, I figured her job and kids would be priorities that overshadowed me to the fullest. I genuinely care about her and want only the best for her. Might mean letting her go so she can find a dude that has his own kids already and they can do the blended family thing
The Jewnited States
Superstar
This is the first time I've ever even entertained the idea of getting serious with a single mom, and that's only because I've known her for 20+ years and understand that she's a solid person. I looked at it as my attempt to be "more mature" and open minded. I'm 36 years old now with 5 felonies, not much money saved up, a bachelor's degree from a good university in a field (business information technology) that I can't even get a good job in because of my record
I'm no longer drafting in the first round and know I'm gonna have to start making serious compromises. I thought this might be one I could handle. Seems like not. So, just tell her point blank period we will never be an item and leave it up to her if she wants to continue the arrangement we have now?
A part of me has been reluctant to just up and tell her my biggest hold up is that she can't get pregnant. I feel it's disrespectful to tell a woman that I care about some shyt like that. She gonna internalize it like I'm calling her defective.
At the end of the day, that's always gonna be my homegirl and I will always love her on some level, but I also am becoming more aware that the practical aspects of a relationship sometimes can override that love and that's a shame but it is what it is
trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In
Superstar
I only got out of prison recently and it was through mutual friend that we were able to reconnect. It was supposed to be just a friends with benefits thing at first and I never talked about a full blown relationship, but lately she has been pushing for it and I know it's time to shyt or get off the pot
I just started my new job, I'm going back to school for the fall semester and there's a lot of uncertainty regarding my future. It's hard for me to commit
Simple question to ask yourself: What would you regret more? Giving up pursuing your ambitions and getting yourself sorted for the fleeting feeling of "love" and "sentiments" OR Letting go of a woman who may be a solid character, but violates some serious non-negotiables that you are truly looking for in a "life-partner"?......I should be phrasing it more neutrally but I think you know where I stand, and you also truly know where you stand, but that bomb azz puzzy got you suffering from FOMO....
Is it the friendship you are fearful of losing or the easy access to "back up" p*ssy?...
Appreciate it breh. I think y'all are right that I need to just cut it off now. It's hard for me because I have known her for over 20 years and I don't want to lose the friendship. Something I should have thought about more before I started fukking her, but I was fresh out and wanted to have a consistent thing on deck. I really did go in with the intentions of taking it a day at a time and seeing how well we actually work together for extended periods of time. I didn't think she would be getting this emotional and clingy this quick, I figured her job and kids would be priorities that overshadowed me to the fullest. I genuinely care about her and want only the best for her. Might mean letting her go so she can find a dude that has his own kids already and they can do the blended family thing
Why tell her that part of the truth? If she is your good friend and you don't want to hurt her you have a plethora of legitimate other good reasons why you don't want to pursue the relationship. She doesn't need to hear that one. .......Also you should frame things in a way where she feels she is "winning" by not continuing to be romantically involved with you. Although you internally know better, it saves you the headaches of her being nasty if she sees you "doing better" right away without her around.This is the first time I've ever even entertained the idea of getting serious with a single mom, and that's only because I've known her for 20+ years and understand that she's a solid person. I looked at it as my attempt to be "more mature" and open minded. I'm 36 years old now with 5 felonies, not much money saved up, a bachelor's degree from a good university in a field (business information technology) that I can't even get a good job in because of my record
So, just tell her point blank period we will never be an item and leave it up to her if she wants to continue the arrangement we have now?
A part of me has been reluctant to just up and tell her my biggest hold up is that she can't get pregnant. I feel it's disrespectful to tell a woman that I care about some shyt like that. She gonna internalize it like I'm calling her defective.
At the end of the day, that's always gonna be my homegirl and I will always love her on some level, but I also am becoming more aware that the practical aspects of a relationship sometimes can override that love and that's a shame but it is what it is
The Jewnited States
Superstar
Simple question to ask yourself: What would you regret more? Giving up pursuing your ambitions and getting yourself sorted for the fleeting feeling of "love" and "sentiments" OR Letting go of a woman who may be a solid character, but violates some serious non-negotiables that you are truly looking for in a "life-partner"?......I should be phrasing it more neutrally but I think you know where I stand, and you also truly know where you stand, but that bomb azz puzzy got you suffering from FOMO....
Is it the friendship you are fearful of losing or the easy access to "back up" p*ssy?...
Why tell her that part of the truth? If she is your good friend and you don't want to hurt her you have a plethora of legitimate other good reasons why you don't want to pursue the relationship. She doesn't need to hear that one. .......Also you should frame things in a way where she feels she is "winning" by not continuing to be romantically involved with you. Although you internally know better, it saves you the headaches of her being nasty if she sees you "doing better" right away without her around.
You are right on all counts and I appreciate your insight. I know I need to focus on self and getting my life back on track, pursue my graduate degree and try to attain my goals. I feel conflicted because I care about her but I also know there are some major "non-negotiables" and they aren't going away. I am trying to find some sweet spot arrangement that keeps us on good terms but it is seeming to be increasingly difficult to achieve that.
I have tried to be as up front as I could be about my expectations and she was cool with it at the beginning, but she no longer is. And I get it. She wants the companionship and a partner to lean on. I just am not in a place in life to do that right now. Not in the capacity that she wants.
All these years I had considered her "the one that got away" and I always felt like if the timing was better, we would have worked out. And that's probably true. If that was OUR kids? Whole thing is different. But life don't come with do overs. I gotta soldier through and focus on building my career and staying my ass out of prison.
Appreciate the feedback, as always. shyt got me feeling a little
Right now.
trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In
Superstar
You are right on all counts and I appreciate your insight. I know I need to focus on self and getting my life back on track, pursue my graduate degree and try to attain my goals. I feel conflicted because I care about her but I also know there are some major "non-negotiables" and they aren't going away. I am trying to find some sweet spot arrangement that keeps us on good terms but it is seeming to be increasingly difficult to achieve that.
I have tried to be as up front as I could be about my expectations and she was cool with it at the beginning, but she no longer is. And I get it. She wants the companionship and a partner to lean on. I just am not in a place in life to do that right now. Not in the capacity that she wants.
All these years I had considered her "the one that got away" and I always felt like if the timing was better, we would have worked out. And that's probably true. If that was OUR kids? Whole thing is different. But life don't come with do overs. I gotta soldier through and focus on building my career and staying my ass out of prison.
Appreciate the feedback, as always. shyt got me feeling a little
Whole song applies.... but verse 3 has the bars pertinent to this exactly...
OmegaK2099
Gettin' It In
Call here 630-296-7536 theyll tell you what you to doI only got out of prison recently and it was through mutual friend that we were able to reconnect. It was supposed to be just a friends with benefits thing at first and I never talked about a full blown relationship, but lately she has been pushing for it and I know it's time to shyt or get off the pot
I just started my new job, I'm going back to school for the fall semester and there's a lot of uncertainty regarding my future. It's hard for me to commit
cyndaquil
Lv 100 Bold natured
Red alert! Red alert! A brehette has posted in the thread!
Hide all the evidence! Activate code Green!
George Gooney
AA GANG AA GANG AA GANG
Never deal with a nigerian bytch. They're the Ugliest group of "Black" women, the most entitled, and cheat the most(they have a very very high percentage for paternity fraud).
trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In
Superstar
@Gloxina must be having such a slow Sunday with no meal prep or anything else involved she decided to drop by and get caught up in some fukkery.......Just need Stuntone here now to have the other side of the spectrum fulfilled............Red alert! Red alert! A brehette has posted in the thread!
Hide all the evidence! Activate code Green!