Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[re'up]

This is true to a certain extent.

As you get older and more of your peers start getting married and having kids, ultimately if you don't do the same, you're going to be alone. It's great in your 20s but in your 30s and 40s it can be empty......especially if you've grown apart from old friends, are in a new city and don't have the social circle you once had .

Unfortunately, I have too much to lose to have casual sex with randoms the way I did in my 20s so I'm kinda feeling it at 39.

I'm 40, and I understand what you are saying. I have a diverse and wide wide social network/friend group, so not everyone is married with kids, but some are. I agree too that around this age with no kids puts you in a certain category for a certain demo. I think the other night with an older woman I kind of smirked when she asked if I had kids, and she was like why are you laughing? You are 40 with no kids?

So the women around our age are either out of the dating market, or really fixed on that last call for marriage/kids. I get that 100%. I rarely go out with women who are 35-40. They are usually 30, or like 50, which can mean that you don't always feel as connected as with someone your age.

I also think your thinking and most people's is a little binary/black/white. Casual sex is one thing, but you can also have sex that's not casual, and not entirely committed. Harder to do in some ways, but usually better, and more fulfilling. To the points about purpose, I don't feel lonely but there are things that are better with others, sex is one. Sometimes restaurants are another. I'm always out doing my thing, checking out spots, going to movies, going to dinners, take a 1 night trip to LA, stay in a dope hotel, go to a trendy spot. I'll do all that solo, and a lot of the times just meet women without even trying. Walk into a room, start talking.

I'm also cool going and buying 3 new books, and staying home all night reading. Reading 30 reviews of the new Scream movie, because I can't believe how bad it was. One big advantage over 30 is experience and confidence. You can see the plays. You can make the plays. I can't walk into a random bar and go home with someone everytime, but I can walk into a spot, and walk up to the baddest single woman there.

 

[Brandsdale]

I'm 40, and I understand what you are saying. I have a diverse and wide wide social network/friend group, so not everyone is married with kids, but some are. I agree too that around this age with no kids puts you in a certain category for a certain demo. I think the other night with an older woman I kind of smirked when she asked if I had kids, and she was like why are you laughing? You are 40 with no kids?

So the women around our age are either out of the dating market, or really fixed on that last call for marriage/kids. I get that 100%. I rarely go out with women who are 35-40. They are usually 30, or like 50, which can mean that you don't always feel as connected as with someone your age.

I also think your thinking and most people's is a little binary/black/white. Casual sex is one thing, but you can also have sex that's not casual, and not committed. Harder to do in some ways, but usually better, and more fulfilling. To the points about purpose, I don't feel lonely but there are things that are better with others, sex is one. Sometimes restaurants are another. I'm always out doing my thing, checking out spots, going to movies, going to dinners, take a 1 night trip to LA, stay in a dope hotel, go to a trendy spot. I'll do all that solo, and a lot of the times just meet women without even trying. Walk into a room, start talking.

I'm also cool going and buying 3 new books, and staying home all night reading. Reading 30 reviews of the new Scream movie, because I can't believe how bad it was. One big advantage over 30 is experience and confidence. You can see the plays. You can make the plays. I can't walk into a random bar and go home with someone everytime, but I can walk into a spot, and walk up to the baddest single woman there.

Bolded is one thing I definitely overlooked and trying to do more of now in my 30s. When your circle is mainly married folks with kids, that competitive mindset kicks into overdrive and have you thinking you need to be married yesterday.

i think making new friends is kinda crucial for someone like myself cause it could give you more perspective on shyt outside of “why are you 40 and not married?”


Side bar: New Scream flick is ass?

 

[Ahadi]

I also think your thinking and most people's is a little binary/black/white. Casual sex is one thing, but you can also have sex that's not casual, and not committed. Harder to do in some ways, but usually better, and more fulfilling. To the points about purpose, I don't feel lonely but there are things that are better with others, sex is one. Sometimes restaurants are another. I'm always out doing my thing, checking out spots, going to movies, going to dinners, take a 1 night trip to LA, stay in a dope hotel, go to a trendy spot. I'll do all that solo, and a lot of the times just meet women without even trying. Walk into a room, start talking.

I'm also cool going and buying 3 new books, and staying home all night reading. Reading 30 reviews of the new Scream movie, because I can't believe how bad it was. One big advantage over 30 is experience and confidence. You can see the plays. You can make the plays. I can't walk into a random bar and go home with someone everytime, but I can walk into a spot, and walk up to the baddest single woman there.

That is exactly my life.

I’ve got my speakeasies, bars, restaurants, I know the staff, I know the vibe. I also meet women just by being in my own world, doing my thing.


Every other weekend I’m at the bookstore, or coffee shop with an iced black coffee in hand, reading, working out every day. I’m content.


And yes, at 33, I see all the plays & I choose when to close a chapter or when to keep the connection going. I personally stick to 21-27 , anything past that, (30 max) it depends on her headspace) after that range it gets a little muddy.

 

[re'up]

Bolded is one thing I definitely overlooked and trying to do more of now in my 30s. When your circle is mainly married folks with kids, that competitive mindset kicks into overdrive and have you thinking you need to be married yesterday.

i think making new friends is kinda crucial for someone like myself cause it could give you more perspective on shyt outside of “why are you 40 and not married?”


Side bar: New Scream flick is ass?

It's an embarrassment. I wrote a long ass thing on it in the Film Room thread. If you see it, I want to know what you think. Same way I talk about women, I talk about movies, I walk in with good faith.

It made me feel old, because these new movies are some other shyt. They aren't movies in the way I know them. They are more like Tik Tok skits. I also remember when Scream was cutting edge, even uncomfortable it was so raw, and funny, ironic, scary. Now it's like a weird mix of childish and old fashioned.